Bleeding Orange & Blue, Without Actually Bleeding
by D.Minion
[We ran this story a couple of seasons ago after a Super Bowl with Seattle that sane Bronco fans have chosen not to remember at all. Seeing as how we happen to know quite a few Patriots fans, we thought we would put it up on the free side now. The sentiments still work, and perhaps it will help them all forget about that failed 2-point conversion. … Hey, it could happen. If nothing else, the Broncos this year prove that.]
This weekend will be the first REAL Broncos game of the year. I know that because as I walked into the office on Friday, Lucky was sitting in front of the TV watching pre-game stuff, AND listening to some sort of Broncos report on Sirius Radio, AND was surfing the Broncos’ web site on his laptop. In addition, he is wearing his Broncos t-shirt under his Broncos sweatshirt. He has on his Broncos socks and is clutching a Broncos Nerf Football. (I couldn’t make this up!) [Um. Yes she could. I don’t use a laptop anymore unless I’m editing on set. In the office I use a tablet. So there.]
As I greeted him I was immediately shushed. Then in hushed tones he muttered something like, “Must win all games! Can’t be like the Super Bowl! Must win all games!” [Also not true. There was no Super Bowl last year. As with the rest of the Bronco fans (and, clearly, the players), we all fell asleep on January 31st, and woke up in March.]
That’s fine. I’m rooting for Denver, too. (I know which side my bread is buttered on. Lucky signs my checks. Go Broncos!) [While D.Minion has evolved sucking up to an art form — despite its lack of subtlety, DM nevertheless manages to inject her trademark strangeness. We think she knows they don’t use bats in football, although we have been afraid to ask.]
“So,” I continued. “What’s going up on risque.com Sunday?” (He has editorial duty on most holidays and special occasions.)
“Don’t know,” Lucky answered. “I’m busy with FOOTBALL! You decide. Just send me the post. Now SHUSH!” [I am fairly certain I have never said “SHUSH” in my life. Clearly DM decided to paraphrase, because she doesn’t ever write swear words.]
