January 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Don’t you just hate it when two roads diverge in the yellow woods, and come to find out you’ve been in the redwoods this whole time? Then when you find out that all the pretty girls were in those yellow woods, well, it can make you really sad. On the upside, we always have hope for the next time, just as soon as we figure out where we should be wandering. That’s the trouble with the Internet: It created too many forests. [STAR TAGS: Lexi Diamond, Zarena Summers Video, Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux]

A Lexi in a Different Forest

If you work in Information Technology (IT) you probably have compiled your own list of things you really do not want to hear from people in your company. We feel safe in assuming that, “Hey, how do I get chocolate out of my keyboard?” to be right up there with the icky ones. … It seems that D.Minion has discovered something called “Choco Tacos” recently, though, and she approaches their use with her usual confident naiveté. Sometimes that works out better for her than others as you will with see with the soon to be classic game, Name That Strip Club Tune. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea]

Whistle A Happy Tune

As it turned out, not everyone did in fact get to go to the AEE this year, as one of those boring (but well paying) “other” kinds of clients required attention. Consequently those of us that did attend will need to explain all the wildly entertaining things they missed this time around — and we get to do it for an entire year. (Woo-HOO!) … So … the group set ground on a tour of this oft-charted desert isle … and then a whole bunch of stuff happened that we’ll get to later. For now, just understand that we had a million phones, a billion lights, and many motor cars to go with a skipper, at least a couple millionaires (but no wives), one professor, many, many movie stars — and likely at least a few first matings going on.  [STAR TAGS: AEE 2013, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]

Shayla Commenting on 1994

Since for some reason we all find ourselves heading out to the parade of porn stars in Las Vegas this year, we thought we should leave you for a week or so with the fine thoughts and images of Lon and Kylie. Come to find out, once people discover that Kristal Summers will be riding with us to the AEE, suddenly everyone sees a critical need for their attendance. When we take the 7-hour drive with Maverick, we don’t have nearly so many volunteers. Go figure. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2012, Jessica Drake, Sunset Thomas, Julia Ann, Kaylani Lei, Alektra Blue, Sunny Leone, Kristina Rose, Lexi Belle, Misty Stone, Skin Diamond]

Tori Black and Lon. Peas in a Pod. Possibly.

Actually naming an adult movie “Naked” would be like choosing “Food” as the name for a cookbook. Fortunately the wise folks at Adam & Eve decided not to follow the “working title” recommendation, choosing Intimate Encounters 3 as the official release name. Granted, once people start putting numbers after a title it does tend to diminish the program as unique unto itself, but with D.Minion on set for Day One, we can be absolutely sure of one thing: We will definitely get unique. [STAR TAGS: Jeanie Marie Sullivan, Misty Stone Exclusive Video, Ashlynne Leigh Exclusive Video, Marie McCray]

Not all of the 249 photos from this day feature puppies, just so you know.

Anyone can cover a porn convention and come up with fascinating insights and (even more easily) photographs of beautiful women. But only truly exceptional folks can cover a porn convention before it even happensas Steve has done today. Granted, technically this all refers to the 2012 convention, but that’s a minor detail. Porn stars. Real Dolls. And Lon. … What else does one need in order to provide concupiscent enlightenment? (OK. So you could need a dictionary. Maybe.) [STAR TAGS: AEE 2012, Cytherea, Jessica Drake Exclusive Video, Kayden Kross, Jesse Jane, Stoya, Brooklyn Lee, Bree Olsen, Julia Ann, Belladonna, Tasha Reign, Stormy Daniels, Sophie Dee, Ron Jeremy]

Real Doll & Lon. Not Pictured: Local Police

Suppose you had a friend that justified trying to put a Hello Kitty toaster and a giant troll doll in her carry-on luggage by explaining that any TSA agent that found them in her checked baggage might be tempted to steal them? And suppose this same friend spent her free time watching her favorite types of adult movie scenes, these being either double penetrations or solo female? … Well in that case another friend that spent her first few minutes in a new location looking for fun places to masturbate might seem sort of normal, right? Life is simply a matter of perspective with D.Minion and Shayla around. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

On Innovation and Plumbing with Shayla

We could talk about how simply postponing a decision for two months does not “avoid” a cliff nearly so much as “postpone” it. Or we could talk about how the “last minute” congressional compromise sure looks a heck of a lot like the exact same solution they had on the table a couple of weeks ago. … But why would we do that when we could welcome 2013 with Dee’s 4-Way Lesbian Dilemma instead? Clever beings that we are, we decided that we would not. [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton Video, Rayveness Video, Charlie Video, Ashlynn Leigh, Marie McCray, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Watching Politics and Sausage-Making