Jana Jordan for Millennial Business

Top Ten Millennial Business Facts

Millennial Thoughts

by Nobody Special

A recent luncheon with a couple of 20-somethings motivated me to write a short Top Ten list of things I learned. It probably goes without saying — although after this conversation I’m not sure anything really falls into that category anymore — that this title refers to the Millennial people and not a period in time.

Things Millennials Think About Business

  1. I do not get paid enough to think while I am at work.
    1. If my supervisor does not specifically tell me to do something, I do not need to do it — unless I want to, and then I should get paid more.
    2. The universe requires me to stop thinking about work the second I leave the building.
    3. If I do think about work outside the office, my company is to blame, and I am underpaid.
  2. The time required to complete a task does not matter so long as I “am working” on it.
  3. If an internet search indicates that other people doing “my job” receive a higher average salary, I am underpaid.
    1. I do not understand what “average” means, nor do I care.
    2. If part of my job in this company happens to be a full-time job in another company, I am therefore doing multiple full-time jobs and should be paid accordingly.
  4. If I am working late one night doing extra work, I do not need to arrive on time the next day to do my regular work.
  5. There is always another easier and better paying job out there any time I want to go looking for it, so I do not need to appreciate this one.
  6. Money is the only way that I know if someone appreciates my efforts.
  7. I am not only allowed, but actually required, to determine how much effort my current salary warrants.
  8. If you ask me to take notes during a training session, either
    1. You have asked me to learn something above my pay grade, or
    2. You have overstepped your position because you should be willing to repeat the same instructions as many times as necessary until I grasp the concepts (or I get a raise).
  9. Anyone who criticizes my behavior, demeanor, or the quality of my performance has created an uncomfortable work environment and should be punished by Human Resources.

And #10 … My Personal Favorite (By Far):

If I do a poor job for $10/hour, someone will realize that if they paid me $20/hour I would do a much better job.

Sadly, I did not make any of those up. All I did was put them in some sort of order. As you probably guessed, I paid for lunch.

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