All of us get used to a certain amount of unfairness in life, otherwise we could never watch young people eat like it will be their last meal without slapping them every time they picked up a napkin. A half dozen Krispy Kremes, you say? You’d like a double bacon cheeseburger with extra-large fries, and yet you’ll remain annoyingly thin? … SLAP! … Of course unfairness in life does not limit itself to caloric intake, but it always seems to surprise us when it comes from family. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Generally when someone talks about a thing being “rock hard” in this business, odds would be good that they do not refer to actual rocks — you know, really solid chunks of the earth, broken off into pieces suitable for throwing at someone you catch using their “rock hard” part in an inappropriate manner. … In our case, however, sometimes we really do happen to be talking about rocks, in this case with petroglyphs displayed on them. Of course in this particular circumstance we utilize the liquid talents of Cytherea to demonstrate our solid reasoning, so we’re reasonably certain not to get fired because of the effort. We will stop and send you off to your adventures today before we blow it by trying to extend a metaphor too far, but just so you know: A cigar is never just a cigar in this place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Except for the fact that everyone now has to start getting out of bed “early” again, the risqué commune offices have quite the celebration going on — interestingly beginning immediately after the Closing Ceremonies concluded. Clearly not everyone shares the feelings of universal fellowship that watching highly dedicated and gifted individuals either succeed or fail spectacularly can bring. All in all, none of us mind that when we screw up in a really major fashion somewhat fewer than 4 billion people drop by to share in the experience. None of us mind Maverick’s confusion on which celebratory event he has Natalia Forrest representing either. By the way, if 4 billion of you do want to join and watch her, we would be fine with that. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford, Brooklyn Lee, Missy Martinez Video, Zoey Holloway Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars]

The Brits had quite a resurgence in the Olympic games over the weekend, leading in our case to a bevy of “In your FACE, DM!” sorts of emails traveling across the ocean in this direction. While as a group we obviously enjoy a fine, good-natured competitive ribbing amongst ourselves, we Americans really had to admire how polite the British have turned out to be. Maybe you have not noticed, but instead of their own national anthem, every time a British citizen wins a gold medal they insist upon listening to a heart-warming rendition of My Country ’Tis of Thee. You know, maybe they have forgiven us for that whole Revolutionary War thing. … Toward a similar end, Inari Vachs and Cytherea help us with an other-parts-warming exhibition today. God Save the Queens. [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs, Cytherea]

Never having seen a water polo match in her life, D.Minion and her “ChickaDees” nevertheless spent a significant part of today watching a contest between the U.S. and the U.K., happily shouting, “In your FACE, Mav!” every time the Americans scored. While this may not say much for sportsmanship here in the office, it does say a bit regarding loyalty. For example, we welcome in a new (typically unnamed) Team Risqué member today, while noting the fine Pearls of Wisdom provided by Shayla LaVeaux. … If nothing else we do remain a loyal group, as D.Minion’s Minions still call themselves ChickaDees even though Dee has been retired going on six years now. Our new fellow has much to look forward to — or maybe much to fear. One can never tell. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Julia Ann]