Filed Under: Jamie Elle

September 2008 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

9/30/08

Members of Congress have apparently forgotten the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf! You see, after a while, people just don’t believe you anymore. And that sucks. On the upside, and true to his nature, Maverick with 247AdultStars today, has decided not to worry about any “Economic Crisis” and instead focus on very fine breasts. Now we’re not sure if having everyone take some time out of their chaos to just appreciate boobs, but we are sure that it certainly can’t hurt anything. And that would be a pleasant change. You see, around here we remember The Boy story, and we also remember Chicken Little. Apparently our “leaders” aren’t really even smarter than a first grader. Jeff Foxworthy cannot be impressed. [FEATURED TAGS: 247AdultStars.com, Kristal Summers Video, Exclusive Video]

Kristal Summers getting to her points.
9/27/09

And now we’ll return you to your regularly scheduled nudity. … We love it when we get to say that. … We’re not positive, but probably most jobs out there don’t provide a useful outlet for this particular sentence, and that seems a shame really. Also most jobs probably don’t have Rayveness, Keri Windsor, Vicca, and Shayla LaVeaux as visual “aides” as it were. All in all, this job has a lot going for it. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Rayveness, Keri Windsor, Vicca, Sindee Coxx]

Shayla, back in the fold, so to speak.
9/26/08

Occasionally around here we sometimes do things like we said we’d do. Of course other than meaning that none of us has ever worked in Congress, that doesn’t mean that much. Still, we did manage to find the inside scoop on the Inari Vachs party that Mav mentioned on the Members’ Message Board, and that makes him happy. Not that we really care all that much if the Brits are happy all the time, but less whiny always seems a bonus. We should be nice to them, actually, because a great many European states border another country, and so that makes a whole lot of Europeans experts on foreign policy. We need those folks around. [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, AVN Awards, Inari Vachs, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]

Maverick and Inari Vachs, both clearly foreign relations experts.
9/23/08

Lon sometimes has a plan. However, Lon occasionally does not have a plan, and this generally occurs when he’s about to spend quality time with various beautiful women. Then Lon’s too concerned about his equipment to form much of a plan. … Fortunately for all of us, Lon’s worrisome equipment in this case turns out simply to be a new digital camera. Now you know it’s safe to enter. [FEATURED TAGS: Erotica LA, Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Miyoko Video, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]

Lon not actually worried about his equipment at this point.
9/19/08

So we have a 700 Billion Dollar problem and the President says, “Oops. Those darned Wall Street People …. But we’re winning the war. Did I mention?” … Granted it has been some time since Econ 101, but it seems like actually printing money to solve a problem doesn’t turn out to be a very good long-range solution. Still, it is America and we can’t have a whole bunch of rich people all of the sudden becoming poor people. That just won’t do. … On the upside, we’re avoiding the economic issues of the time and using D.Minion’s view of “Innocence”  — perhaps as a metaphor for its loss, but still …. We will say here, though, that Latin class was just about as long ago as Econ 101, but maybe we should try to remember this little diddy: nosce te ipsum. Know thyself. … Or at least try to pay attention to history. … [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Love, Amber Rayne, Jamie Elle, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]

What they worry about instead of domestic financial markets.
9/14/08

Philosophy and Economics provide our focus today, at least if you ignore the whole “Kristal Summers naked and doing a Cam Show” thing. Now we don’t want to criticize over a century and a half of higher education standards in the United States, but if more professors used visual aids like Kristal Summers, we all might learn a lot more easily. At the very least we wouldn’t miss class just because we don’t feel well, or we’re too tired, or we’re hung over, or any such silly reason. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Exclusive Video]

Kristal's benefits peeking through her “net” contribution.
9/9/08

Don’t you just love a good palindrome? You know what makes a really fun one? … 41-14 … Now that may not be up there for most of you with “Madam in Eden I’m Adam” but if you happen to be a Monday Night Football fan (well, and you don’t happen to be from Oakland), then 41-14 seems like one of the best palindromes you’ve ever seen. Of course none of this has anything at all to do with Inari Vachs, or anything else we’re talking about today, truth be told. But if you’ve been a Bronco fan for very long at all, you know that you’d better take your “happy mornings” when you can get them. We should mention that you might think carefully about reading something called “Wear for Thou Art” , however. And if you make it all the way through today’s post, you’ll also learn to be careful what you wear around us: We take pictures. [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs, D.Minion]

Nice. But better when you can read what it says.
9/6/08

So we’re back from yet another super-secret movie shoot, and this one we really can’t talk about. The allegations and law suits are flying back and forth like the ball in an Olympic ping pong tournament, and we don’t feel much like being the net (if we might continue the metaphor). However, all remains far from lost as we can talk about a dear individual, Taren Steele. What with all the recent publicity that Governor Palin has given “moms” in general, it seemed appropriate — and a lot safer. [FEATURED TAGS: Taren Steele Video, Exclusive Video, Risque News Insight]

A (Taren) Steele Will
9/1/08

In honor of Kristal’s Birthday (!) today, Maverick has been learning about the power of the Press Badge. This time he takes us behind the scenes into an “adult industry only” party at a London club. As you might expect, he didn’t deviate that much from his usual pursuits, as he basically went in search of large breasts. (There’s the “honor of Kristal Summers” part, in case you didn’t notice.) Interestingly, the British (and visiting) Breasts seemed to pale in comparison, understanding of course that your basic Southern California breast actually “tans in comparison” to most others. Still, that’s never diminished our interest in them. We can leer regardless of skin tone. We’re talented that way. [FEATURED TAGS: 247AdultStars.com]

Breast Wishes from across the Atlantic.

April 2007 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/23/07

Some of us are taking off today, folks, and we just wanted to let you know. It’s been six years since the “leader” (whatever the heck that means, and why the heck would anyone want to be one of those anyway?) has taken a true vacation, and that’s what’s going to happen. Allegedly many, many things will be ongoing in abstentia, but … well … allegedly, and all. … Regardless, everyone enjoy a little bit of the spring time in your area and we’ll see you the second week of May. It might work; who knows? My dad always used to say, “Columbus took a chance.” … Of course I’d always respond that, “He had to run because he was schtupping the Queen and the King found out; he didn’t really land where everyone thinks he landed, and, besides, he’s dead.” I’ve never been very good at lessons, in case you hadn’t noticed.

4/23/07

You know the thing about controversial opinions? They’re easy to ignore and just get on to the serious jobs of looking at Julia Ann and Kristal Summers naked. If you’re the thinking sort of person, controversial opinions might also be good to argue with (and when you’ve got Juli Ashton on your side that’s an easy thing to do), but even thinking people tend to get distracted by Julia Ann and Kristal Summers naked. (You can see that, right?) You think this is why thinking people don’t run for public office? And would we really want someone in public office that has never seen Julia Ann and Kristal Summers naked? … We think NOT! … Of course sometimes we’re wrong. And sometimes we’re right. … It gets confusing, if you want to know the truth.  [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Kristal Summers]

And we're climbing a stairway to ... um ... Julia Ann and Kristal. Have you been paying attention?
4/19/07

We’re thinking about Contract Players in general today, which bring up the anticipated thoughts of Jana Jordan and perhaps some slightly less obvious ones about Anais. Then we’re also thinking about Katsumi, Vanessa Hill, Anna Karin, Dillan Lauren, Rita Faltoyano, Kelly Taylor, Rita Faltoyano, Nikita Denise, Brittney Skye and Kenzie Ryan, so we’re really pretty busy, all things considered. Still, if you have to be busy, being so with a collection of women this beautiful pretty much makes it OK. And all in all, pretty much OK seems like a fine goal for any day.  [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Anais Video, Katsumi, Vanessa Hill, Anna Karin, Dillan Lauren, Rita Faltoyano, Kelly Taylor, Rita Faltoyano, Nikita Denise, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video]

Anna Karin. Never a contract girl for some reason. Hmm.
4/13/07

We looked up the origins of triskaidekaphobia today, because we thought this would make for a fascinating exposé – not to mention appropo, considering the “lucky” chap always roaming the hallways here. Then after sufficient research we decided, Naw. That’s too confusing. Let’s just show off Jana Jordan and the XRCO Awards we just attended. … Now it’s not that we avoid the technical and generally run from anything that’s too complicated around here …. Oh, wait a minute. … It’s EXACTLY like that. Our bad. … Heeere’s Jana (and Kristal Summers, and TJ Hart, and some others by the way) … [FEATURED TAGS: XRCO Awards, Kristal Summers, Jana Jordan Video, Georgia Jones, TJ Hart, Nikita Denise, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]

Kristal and an alleged Mr. Pacino
4/7/07

Imagine you have the chance to meet Heather Vuur. Now imagine you have a chance to meet Heather Vandeven. … Obviously those of you “in the know” would thus know that this would be the same thing, however confusing it sounds. Well, today, unless you happen to live in Hollywood and are very, very fortunate, you don’t have either of the choices anyway. Sorry. But you do have a chance to see D.Minion’s coverage of Meet Heather, and you do have a chance to see a home that reaches the absurd in its ability to store clothing. Also, Selina Draagen, Kellemarie, Kelly Kline, and Zoë Britton are hanging around and they don’t seem to care about clothes at all. Sometimes in life even “just what you get” can be rather dandy. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Selina Draagen Video, Kellemarie, Kelly Kline, Zoë Britton, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]

Stairway to Heather
4/1/07

If you do the unusual all of the time, does it then become usual? And if it’s now usual then how can it be unusual at the same time? Fortunately, as with many philosophical questions, our standard answer works quite well: We don’t care. For example, whenever there’s a bear in the woods, our goal remains never to be around long enough to see what it does there. Speaking of animals, though, we think someone might be pulling our leg on this April Fool’s Day. The “usual” possibility exists that Bubblegum the Dog did not in fact write this account of when Jana visited Innocence. We’re usually very skeptical, which clearly makes it not unusual. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Alexis Love, Lena Nicole, Amber Rayne, Jamie Elle, Alana Langford, Sasha Grey, Michael Ninn]

Jana Jordan ... Disciplinarian.