Special to Risqué News
by Inari Vachs
It’s Friday afternoon. Manager Smith and I are on our way to Laughlin, NV to the annual Laughlin River Run where one can expect to find 80,000 bikers with the baddest Harleys ever seen. What business do I have with that many bikers? No, not another gang bang — get your heads out of the gutter — I was looking to buy a hog! [One presumes she wanted bacon? Personally I had a lot to learn on this little soirée. For example, this might be the first time in history anyone has ever used the term “soirée” and “hog” in the same story.] And I was also there with Julia Ann to promote Naughty Amateur Home Videos for Playboy TV, of course!
The 4.5-hour trip turned into a brief [That depends on if one was sleeping IMHO.] 7-hour tour due to construction … accidents … general mayhem. [This is literally true, as there was a fatal accident on Interstate 15 while we were travelling the road.] At least it was a beautiful drive. One must appreciate the desert skyline to agree — and I will admit it was probably one of the most gorgeous sunsets I’ve witnessed this year. [I just saw miles of road … miles and miles of road.] I also saw something that perplexed me greatly. It was a sign that read: “Litter Removal By People Against The Dumping of Radioactive Waste.” Are there people for such a dastardly act? [See how much time we had to ruminate?]
Anyway, eventually we arrived. The streets were busy with roaring hogs and people clad in leather and Harley Davidson gear. The strip was full of parking lot vendors selling every piece of motorcycle merchandise imaginable. People were strewn about on lawn chairs simply watching the bikers go by. Finally we come up to our hotel with a billboard screaming: “Meet the Stars of Playboy TV.” (Hey, I’m one of those!). The entrance to the front of the casino was lined with hundreds of parked Harleys. If only one were mine … sigh … one day …. [The brain recoils at the potential for catastrophe.]
So I find my way to the make up room where it was decided we were too late to even try to sign at the Playboy booth, so I got ready for dinner. Yum. Food. I ate really good pizza. I know. You are jealous. Preparing for the next day, we met with Julia Ann, my lovely friend and co-host of the show. She warned me of how long the day would be (10 hours) but it would be packed with fun! We were to give away a new Harley, and a trip to Hedonism III, in Runaway Bay, Jamaica! Pondering a way to win the bike myself, I fell asleep watching Christine. [I’m pretty sure this was the movie, based on the Stephen King book, but with Inari, it could have been another “Christine” altogether.] Wonderful sleeeeeeep.