Nooner

A Nooner to Write Home About

Nap Time — Perhaps

by D.Minion

risque imageWe had to be out of the office in two days, so Lucky asked me if I’d like to take Dee to The Nooner. He insisted it was because he could move heavy furniture and boxes more easily than I could, but I suspect it was so he could get rid of stuff without me there. [That may be, but she can’t prove a thing in a court of law.] I’m a bit sentimental, and the thought of throwing away ANYTHING with ANYONE I like on it is too much for me to take. I begged Lucky not to throw away anything with an autograph on it. “Right. Throw away stuff with autographs,” he smiled. “NOOOOOOOOO!” I said. He just smiled. Lucky’s a lot of things, but he’s not stupid! [Come to think of it, people have tried to prove that in a court of law. That didn’t work either.]

OK, it was off to pick up Dee. She used to live close by, but is now out in horse country. New place, new plan. She drove to a shopping center “near” her house, I picked her up, and we were off. (By the way, “near” is a relative term. There are so many twists, turns, and mountains to get to Dee’s place, that the shopping center is about a mile away, but is 15 minutes from her house!) [True, but Dee’s always worth the trip. Let’s be honest.]

risque imageWe got to the studio and Dee jumped into the makeup chair. Then she zipped to the set. The Nooner was shut down the previous week due to the HIV scare. This week the topic was “Safest Sex,” and it was all about being as safe and careful as possible in this potentially scary world. Even before the show began there was a PSA for HIV testing. I haven’t seen that on Spice Live, before. Good idea! [Yeah, some company owners should really learn the saying about shutting the barn door after all the cows have escaped – or the horse has bolted – or been stolen. Whatever.]

With a chyron stating, “Spice Live Supports Safe Sex Practices,” they were on with the show! After especially inviting ladies to call in, Dee and Mr. Marcus went to their first clip. “It had better not be the one with you on the floor ….” Marcus joked. (The Nooner does tend to play the same clips over and over. That’s because it’s High Def, and there is a very finite number of movies in High Definition. [Time marches on, doesn’t it?] More are being filmed every day, however, so more clips are being added often.) Engineer Pop Shot insisted it would be a clip they hadn’t seen before, so played some Midget Porn with Bridgette Powerz. It was, uh, interesting. (Hey, Little People need love, too!) [Also all the Ray Stevens fans there could sing, Bridget, the Midget, the Queen of the Blues during commercial breaks. Honestly there may not have been too many Ray Stevens fans there, though. Usually when I didn’t attend it cut the Ray Stevens fans down by 100%. What can you do? We try to teach them. … ] Dee and Marcus liked it more than I did, and jokingly insisted on additional Midget porn! Pop Shot told them he’d give them a Midget clip every half hour!

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