Featuring Chasey Lain

Our Annual Trip Down Chasey Lain

Happy Birthday to Chasey!

by D.Minion

It’s that wonderful time of the year, again — Chasey Lain’s Birthday! I’m usually the one in this office who remembers things like birthdays and anniversaries. [Of course she remembers them for people like Susan Dey and David Cassidy, so you have to take the good with the bad here. Actually that sort of becomes a theme with D.Minion.] I even need to remind Lucky about the birthdays of his own parents! [Well, yeah, but they were born before I was, so it doesn’t really count.] But Chasey is one he remembers. (It can’t be anything to do with it falling on Pearl Harbor Day, can it?) [Naw.]

Lucky repped Chasey for several years, securing her contracts with Wicked and Vivid, and helping her become one of the most famous, best loved porn stars of all time. [I have said this before, but it bears — so to speak — repeating: We open doors. We do not walk through them.] I remember meeting Chasey on the set of Devinn Lane’s Playboy TV show, 7 Lives Xposed. I was so struck by her innate beauty (and that I was meeting C*H*A*S*E*Y L*A*I*N) that I’m pretty sure I just stammered incoherently when we were introduced. [Actually this sort of becomes a theme with D.Minion too. Hmm.]

The next time I was GOING to see Chasey was in her comeback movie entitled Chasey’s Back — that also starred both Wendy Divine and her hubby Eric Masterson. Unfortunately, Chasey didn’t exactly show up for the last couple of days of the shoot, so I missed her. (The scene with Wendy and Eric was awesome, though!) [Well, y’know … Details. Details. … ]

Chasey has signed for several companies at AEE in the last few years. It broke my heart to see the once beautiful star’s looks completely trashed from (alleged) drug use. [Outer Beauty fades certainly, but we really shouldn’t try to hurry along the process I’ve always felt.]

The last I heard, Chasey is working at a legal brothel in Nevada. I happen to be a big believer in legalized prostitution, and as I understand it, the place takes good care of its workers. So I’m hoping she is enjoying herself, making money, and ingesting only wholesome, legal, food and beverages. As I always say, I just want everyone to be happy. Especially people I’m fond of! [Hmm. I think we can safely go with “legal” in that description. No promises on the rest of that list.]

So … in celebration of Ms. Lain’s birthday, we found some photos in our “closet of wonders” that we thought y’all might enjoy. There are Chasey’s first Polaroids, some with her “Risque Sister” Kaylan Nicole, and some of a party that just happened to be in the “Chasey” envelope. I’m not sure whose party it is, but it might be Chasey’s! See if you can find: Lucky, Risque Girls Shayla LaVeaux, Alexis DeVell, and Jewel, Wicked Pictures Muckity Mucks Steve Orenstein and Joy King, and Model and Makeup Artist Emma Nixon. There are a bunch of others that I don’t recognize, but I do wish I had been around then! It looks like it was a blast!

Those Photos You Always Have to Pretend to Like

OK. We can tell you that this party must have taken place sometime in the spring of 1994. It’s the house we used to live in, and I can assure you that no one who lived in Northridge will ever forget the “Northridge Earthquake” — at 4:31 a.m. on January 17, 1994, just so you know. The boss claims he knows this because one of the armoires in the background is missing its doors, which apparently used to be bevelled glass and mirrors (also). Everything tumbled to the ground in the chaos, and lots of stuff got broken as you might imagine.

This probably was not actually a party for Chasey’s birthday, since that falls in December (obviously, by now). However we would guess that she took the photos, since she doesn’t show up in any of them, and she was definitely there at that time.

Not because of D.Minion’s whining, of course — but for some other reason entirely — we have also included a “legend” of sorts to help everyone identify the primary players in the festivities recorded. Everyone who doesn’t have a “number” is someone you’d have no reason to have ever heard of, so we didn’t bother with them. For the most part they are folks that worked at (or in support of) either Wicked or Vivid.

  1. Alexis DeVell
  2. Shayla LaVeaux
  3. Kaylan Nicole
  4. Jewel
  5. Steve Orenstein – Owner, Wicked Pictures
  6. Joy King – Publicity, Wicked Pictures
  7. Emma Nixon – Penthouse Pet & Photographer
  8. Ernest Green – Bondage Dude
  9. El Jefe – (more like El Jefito at the time)
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The last four pictures, as you can probably tell, feature Chasey herself, along with Kaylan Nicole either at a convention or at a signing somewhere. Neither of these locations are anywhere near the house holding the party, but somehow they ended up in the same folder. If you ever saw our organization system from back in those days, you would understand. … You’d likely run away screaming, but you’d understand.

Finally, we did see fit to quote an email from the boss as a fitting conclusion to this other distraction, to the original distraction … to D.Minion’s distraction from the Chasey video clips:

“Of note, Kaylan shows up in the second picture here, dressed and acting rather like she always did at home. When she had to work the next day she rarely drank the night before. Chasey, on the other hand, could drink three bottle of wine all by herself, and then get up at 6:00 in the morning looking just like she does in these last four shots. Of course that could have turned out to be part of the problem.

To the other accoutrement, I can make no apologies for the gaudy 80’s/90’s glass and black lacquer décor, sadly enough. What can I say? It was the style at the time.

As for why the giant entertainment center sustained no damage at all when it crashed over in the quake, even though every single component inside got demolished? Well, clearly God has a sense of humor.”

Another “present” we’re “presenting” for Chasey’s birthday is a G/G/G scene from Film Buff. (Lucky doesn’t know it, but I’m declaring December “Juli Ashton Month” for no particular reason, and have chosen several videos that Juli co-stars in for y’all to enjoy!) [Sure. Why should this month be any different from any other?] In this one, Juli (as Julie Austin) joins Chasey and Tiffany Mynx for a fun-filled 1950’s slumber party, complete with poodle skirts, bobby socks, and a bad-boy biker boyfriend! Oooh! Yummy! I love women who love women! [Remember how I mentioned that Chasey has a truly wonderful heart? … Well listen to the opening dialogue as she gets into the scene with Juli and Tiffany. Nobody in this business can act well enough to giggle like that.]

So while you are opening your Pearl Harbor Day presents, and carving your Pearl Harbor Day turkey, please take a moment to reflect on the REAL meaning of this day — the natal anniversary of the lovely and talented Chasey Lain. [So Thar She Blows! … ?]

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