This year our group attending the Adult Entertainment Expo had a beautiful addition — a British porn star named Chantelle Fox, whom Maverick brought over from England. She was an honored guest, but Lucky was concerned she would not enjoy herself in a group where the majority of us are over twice her age. [Good grief, that wasn’t it at all. I was concerned about how we could work in our naps if we were all busy enjoying youthful exuberance.] Consequently, he planned some Only-In-Las-Vegas activities for her.
What none of us except Mav knew, is one cannot spend time with Chantelle Fox without falling a little bit in love. [That part is true. We had ice cream together one night, and now I really, really love cookies and cream.] If I thought it could be mutual, I would have whispered into her ear the magic words, “green card.” [Yeah, but then the rest of us would have had to whisper even more loudly, “Jewish mother.” … Come to think of it, we’re fairly certain that Steve has outdoor plumbing at his house, and heats with deer scat. Gibby lives in God-forsaken Milwaukee, and eno hangs out with the crazy people in San Francisco at home. … Gosh. As it turns out, there would apparently be only one perfect marriage choice for Chantelle. Wow. Go figure. … ]
George Bernard Shaw described England and America as “two countries separated by a common language.” When Chantelle wanted to smoke she would say, “I need to grab a fag.” Not only is it considered offensive here, but if taken literally, the poor guy would not appreciate what most men would dream of. [Truth be told, the most fun came from watching all the panicked Americans every time she said that. Silly boys seemed to forget that when you look like that, nobody pays very much attention to what you’re saying.]
At first we tried a series of “Pod People” jokes, until we figured out that only two of us had ever even heard of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Case in point, only two of us present that day were even alive in 1978 when the remake of the film released. Those were the same two that actually read books that can give you a paper cut too. Sometimes it can be sad around here.
Lucky asked me to take Chantelle and Mav to ride on the new observation wheel on the strip, the High Roller. They built one years ago in London, but Chantelle had never been on it. We arrived just as the prices were about to increase from day to evening rates, so we postponed getting coffee until after. [Now you see why we put Lon in charge of these expensive things.] There were few people there early on a Thursday evening, but the workers knew how to squeeze more money out of the smattering of attendees.