X360 Sex Awards

Backstage Bootleg

We did manage to score this one little bootleg recording of the control room at the event, and although the executives must “contractually” keep mum about the ultimate broadcast destination for this new gig, we can tell you with absolute certainty that people do not put together this kind of equipment and crew hoping that get some air play on a local Seattle channel. If you happen to be too young to know what “bootleg” means, well, go use Google and find out. Back when Mr. Fishbein started AVN, you know, “Google” was called “the card catalog” — and you had to go to the library to use it. And we had to walk uphill both to and from school, in the snow. Did we mention?

Back to another reason to enjoy modern life with its technologically-enhanced freedoms … . Oddly enough, everyone we talked to had a grand old time, and some of the “elders” even got a little more nostalgic than our anonymous photographer friend. The winners acted happy. The losers acted like it really didn’t bother them that their shelves (or boxes in the garage) would not be getting yet another item to sit around and get dusty. The young people acted like young people, and the old people almost all said something to the effect of, “Gee. These things really did used to be a lot of fun.”

Although no one has asked us, we have decided to offer one bit of advice to the next “Boards” that find themselves seeking a new Host for an upcoming show. Seriously, if we waited for people to ask, we’d never give any advice at all, and that would be sad. So just to cut to the chase: You need to pick Julia Ann. … The woman just got banned from television in Australia just for being too sexy. She doesn’t drink too much, doesn’t do drugs at all, hates drama, behaves with consistent professionalism, and she looks like … well, Julia Ann. Also, she’s amazingly well spoken, and she saves small animals in her spare time. And she looks like Julia Ann. We mentioned that part, right? So now that everyone has the answer to the most important question they face for their next event, they can stop worrying about that and start thinking about what ways they have to best make Risqué Business happy. That seems more important, after all.

Even More Risque:  High "Aspirations" (As it Were)

By the way, should you wish to read more “official” accounts of the event, you might check out:

  1. Kylie’s Blog (For an extended look at her photos and at least a guess as to the cable venue.)
  2. AVN (Although it has really ugly formatting, at least you can sort of figure out the winners there.)
  3. Gram Ponante (OK. So this article technically has to do with a woman and her pubic hair, but Gram’s a really funny writer, so you could read him and just think about the Sex Awards.)

Of course you may also take a look at some more pictures courtesy of Kylie and “the other” of the brilliant guys that used to guide AVN. You might also enjoy the banned commercial starring Julia Ann, so we included a higher quality version than you can find in most places. The Australians said they banned it because Julia was mean to the younger women in the ad, while implying that older women might be more sexually fulfilling than younger women. … Um. It’s an advertisement. That’s what they do.

Certainly it had nothing to do with any female members of the “Standards Board” feeling a wee bit intimidated just by looking at Julia Ann. Naw. That couldn’t have been it. Honesty time here: I have walked into many a room with Julia Ann over the years and have witnessed first hand what happens. Bottom line: That could have been it. And thus Life continues to get complicated for no good reason.

Come to think of it, doesn’t moving toward the more and more complicated simply define entropy? Didn’t somebody famous say that always happens? So maybe this has not been a revelation filled with keen observations after all?

There is no new thing under the sun.

— Dude way older than Shakespeare, even

Sigh.

“How It’s Made” Bonus

Although Kylie highlighted the “possible over run” part, I personally found it most interesting that they required TWELVE Versions before they finally settled on one. Can’t tell it can be tough to pin down porn stars, can you?

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courtesy kylie
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the power of julia
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courtesy x3sixty
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