by Nobody Special
You know how every once in a while you get a feeling that golly an orgasm would feel good right about now?
And you know how as you head up the stairs to your nice comfy bed on which to accomplish this helpful goal you sometimes think, “Oh, goodness. I just can’t walk another eight steps, so I should stop right here on the landing and masturbate immediately.” … You know that one?
OK. So maybe that second thought doesn’t sound all that familiar, but adult movies do not exactly strive for reality in their plot premise. If you took away all the ones with ridiculous stories, you’d only be left with … well, not very many. The prevailing wisdom seems to be that people do not tune in to adult entertainment in order to be captivated by the poignant human story depicted, the psychological insights they may provide, or the superb character development brought to life by a serendipitous congregation of writer, director and actor. We know: That sounds just crazy, but some people espouse that theory.
For our part, we long ago learned to apply a time-honored secret to happiness in life: Don’t overthink it.
How much detail do you really want to have about warm Krispy Kremes after all? Will associating this yumminess with a bunch of numbers, and weights, and comparisons to icky things like vegetables really increase your appreciation of this pure expression of divine love? Does thinking about the trusting, mournful eyes of a cow honestly make your double cheeseburger taste better? And don’t even get started on a serious bacon rumination. That cannot lead anywhere good.
No, sometimes true spiritual enlightenment requires a conscious disregard of ancillary minutia. Not everything qualifies as enlightenment, of course, because being enlightened by definition requires a certain dimness to begin with. Consequently, it makes logical sense that we should all try and be as dull as possible, thus leaving the maximum amount of room for possible cheer.
So celebrate the vague, and just have some fun. Most days we can hope for little else.
We have, however, learned one valuable lesson regarding the vantage point with Jamie Huxley today specifically: If you put the camera operator a few steps down from the … um … action, one can capture some darned interesting angles as the story unfolds, so to speak. Maybe that’s why people watch adult movies, for the breathtaking artistic expression of the filmmaker. Sure. That’s probably it.
[As you may have divined by now, given the subject matter you can imagine that we had absolutely zero images appropriate for the free tour, darned interesting angles or not. Consequently, we have imposed upon our old friend Devinn Lane to provide some limited illustration for these clearly captivating ruminations. We did this because Devinn happens to be rather decorative, certainly, but mostly because we miss seeing her as often as we used to, and we like thinking about her. Devinn’s a hoot.]