When you ask a Hall of Fame porn performer to take pictures at a “Sex Awards Show” you never know exactly what you will get. When you approach Kylie Ireland for some Sex Awards Show insights, it can get even stranger. Those of you that know Kylie will certainly know that she can tend toward the “wacky” end of life’s spectrum, but that beats the heck out of the “boring” end for sure.

Kylie also happens to be a good photographer in her own right, and she also knows everyone so her “access” would probably different that most of us could get. Of course the days of quality photographs requiring big bulky equipment have long since passed, as everyone has a camera on their cell phone that will work for almost all web applications. Honestly none of us listed technical quality as one of the requirements for this assignment anyway.

Sex Awards Show Secrets

After filtering through all the “oh, we can’t really write about that and still be nice” options in this category, Kylie did return with one interesting bit of Panic Innovation.

As you might imagine, adult movie stars do not as a rule tend to be people that fall definitively into the “shy” category. That said, you might be surprised at how “normal” you would find them if you ever saw them getting ready to appear on stage. So when something happens to disrupt an already precarious balance on calmness, it can get tense. Fortunately for almost all these sorts of shows, they tend to be filled with all sorts of people used to dealing with pressure situations. (Try having an orgasm on cue when it’s 3:00 in the morning, 40 degrees outside, and everyone is waiting for you to finish so they can go home after a 20-hour day.)

It seems that right before our old buddy jessica drake got called to go on stage, the dress she has prepared suddenly picked that time to pop a zipper. Now you change clothes a lot as a hostess for a Sex Awards Show, and no one build in any “options” for a situation like this. Being accompanied by long-tenured Wicked director Brad Armstrong helped a lot though. Brad — certainly one of the most self-actualized men we have ever known — leapt in with the sewing kit and literally stitched jessica into her dress. Then they cut it off to accomplish the next change. … No word on how the event promoters handled the news of the destroyed garment, but jessica is not famous for wearing cheap outfits.

On the other hand this gives you an accurate insight into how veteran directors and producers handle time-sensitive scenarios: They get it done and worry about the money later. As you may have discerned, sometimes it might a lot better to be a director or producer, rather than, say, an owner.

You may see the full account of the evening elsewhere on the risque site — on the free side too, no less. One thing about awards shows, at least people almost always wear clothes. (Not Misty Rain, but that will be a story for another day.)

Kylie on Instagram. We told you she can take pictures.