Filed Under: Editorial

Kiwi Time Tender

Can We Say Kiwi Time?

Somehow we ended up “consulting” with a band of young musicians up in San Francisco. This all came about because … well, come to think of it, we’re really not sure. One day we’re visiting with a friend up there that sells high-end computer networking equipment, and he says, “You should come see this band I decided to sponsor.”

The next thing any of us can remember, we’re sucking back vodka and Red Bulls while brimming with all sorts of assurances of assistance. OK, so the lead singer does happen to be a rather comely lass, and the men in the group have the sort of looks that attract all sorts of “way better than fair” members of the fairer sex, so that could have had something to do with it. Also, they all happen to be Russian, so most of the beautiful women hanging around tend to have those seriously sexy accents. Basically we were all doomed before we even knew we were in the game.

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

At any rate, we ended up shooting some promotional material and one of those ultra-ultra low budget music videos last week. If you want to get some idea of the “lowness” of this budget, actually, we can tell you that simply by buying lunch we think we became the highest ranking investors in the project. We rode the bus around the city to shoot. Honest. It was a blast. … We also grabbed dinner at a Russian restaurant where, interestingly enough, all the other people in the place were Russian, as were the menus, and all of the staff. We ate some red stuff that was unusual, but not bad, and some green stuff that was pretty good. Then there was this sort of little cubes of ingredients potato salady stuff that was actually quite tasty. Should this ever happen to you, however, you should be aware that pickled herring tastes exactly like you think it will, so be careful with your bite size. Dessert involved butterscotch ice cream with sour cherry topping — no kidding — so feel free to try that at home, you know, after you finish feasting on the pickled herring.

We will tell you this about that, however: Having done it both ways now, floating around San Francisco shooting the “environment” might be even more fun with poor people than it can be with rich people. San Francisco “society” has a certain insulation factor built in.

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X360 Sex Awards Show

When you ask a Hall of Fame porn performer to take pictures at a “Sex Awards Show” you never know exactly what you will get. When you approach Kylie Ireland for some Sex Awards Show insights, it can get even stranger. Those of you that know Kylie will certainly know that she can tend toward the “wacky” end of life’s spectrum, but that beats the heck out of the “boring” end for sure.

Kylie also happens to be a good photographer in her own right, and she also knows everyone so her “access” would probably different that most of us could get. Of course the days of quality photographs requiring big bulky equipment have long since passed, as everyone has a camera on their cell phone that will work for almost all web applications. Honestly none of us listed technical quality as one of the requirements for this assignment anyway.

  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show
  • Kylie at the Sex Awards Show

Sex Awards Show Secrets

After filtering through all the “oh, we can’t really write about that and still be nice” options in this category, Kylie did return with one interesting bit of Panic Innovation.

As you might imagine, adult movie stars do not as a rule tend to be people that fall definitively into the “shy” category. That said, you might be surprised at how “normal” you would find them if you ever saw them getting ready to appear on stage. So when something happens to disrupt an already precarious balance on calmness, it can get tense. Fortunately for almost all these sorts of shows, they tend to be filled with all sorts of people used to dealing with pressure situations. (Try having an orgasm on cue when it’s 3:00 in the morning, 40 degrees outside, and everyone is waiting for you to finish so they can go home after a 20-hour day.)

It seems that right before our old buddy jessica drake got called to go on stage, the dress she has prepared suddenly picked that time to pop a zipper. Now you change clothes a lot as a hostess for a Sex Awards Show, and no one build in any “options” for a situation like this. Being accompanied by long-tenured Wicked director Brad Armstrong helped a lot though. Brad — certainly one of the most self-actualized men we have ever known — leapt in with the sewing kit and literally stitched jessica into her dress. Then they cut it off to accomplish the next change. … No word on how the event promoters handled the news of the destroyed garment, but jessica is not famous for wearing cheap outfits.

On the other hand this gives you an accurate insight into how veteran directors and producers handle time-sensitive scenarios: They get it done and worry about the money later. As you may have discerned, sometimes it might a lot better to be a director or producer, rather than, say, an owner.

You may see the full account of the evening elsewhere on the risque site — on the free side too, no less. One thing about awards shows, at least people almost always wear clothes. (Not Misty Rain, but that will be a story for another day.)

Kylie on Instagram. We told you she can take pictures.

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X360 Sex Awards

[As we head out to yet another convention and Awards Show we thought we’d run a replay of the most recent Awards Show coverage from the members’ side. As a group we have some silly amount cumulative of experience — like 100+ years — and yet we still always really look forward to hanging out […]
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Aural Cytherea Exercises

Turn On … The Radio by D.Minion It was the end of a fun but tiring week in Las Vegas. Cytherea had been posing for photos and videos for days in the Risqué Hotel Suite, while the Risqué gang captured every nuance and every squirt on camera! [And occasionally on pants, t-shirts, glasses, that sort […]
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