August 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


All of us get used to a certain amount of unfairness in life, otherwise we could never watch young people eat like it will be their last meal without slapping them every time they picked up a napkin. A half dozen Krispy Kremes, you say? You’d like a double bacon cheeseburger with extra-large fries, and yet you’ll remain annoyingly thin? … SLAP! … Of course unfairness in life does not limit itself to caloric intake, but it always seems to surprise us when it comes from family. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Kristal Summers and some dude. But we’re not bitter or anything.

Mysteries of the concept of “Lost and Found” bear fruit today, while fully-ripened friends, Jana Cova and Isabella bare … well, other things. Of course certain of their parts bear a distinct resemblance, when bare, to certain fruits, so that could possibly tie this all together in a (freshness) pinch. Basically we have decided to simply follow ancient advice: Be fruitful and multiply, or at least practice the multiplying part. (OK. So these are both women, obviously, and the whole multiplying part really won’t work no matter how hard they try, but how far does one really need to take a metaphor on an adult site, really?) [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Cova Video, Isabella Video]

Isabella & Jana: Blended Beauties

Generally when someone talks about a thing being “rock hard” in this business, odds would be good that they do not refer to actual rocks — you know, really solid chunks of the earth, broken off into pieces suitable for throwing at someone you catch using their “rock hard” part in an inappropriate manner. … In our case, however, sometimes we really do happen to be talking about rocks, in this case with petroglyphs displayed on them. Of course in this particular circumstance we utilize the liquid talents of Cytherea to demonstrate our solid reasoning, so we’re reasonably certain not to get fired because of the effort. We will stop and send you off to your adventures today before we blow it by trying to extend a metaphor too far, but just so you know: A cigar is never just a cigar in this place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

All in All, Cytherea is Much Prettier

Some things in life we still do not understand. One of the byproducts of the Olympic coverage on television — at least in Southern California — included a massive run of new commercials for Honda. Now we admit that all of us over a certain young age have heard commercials featuring sound tracks that made us just a little sad. Most of us in this office, for example, were just getting used to Steppenwolf hocking insurance when the new Honda advertisements hit the air. As near as we can tell, no one told any of the Honda executives what Judas Priest stood for back in the day. But at least they were a British band, so that maybe counts for something during the London Olympics. On a completely unrelated note of confusion, Kristal Summers opens for a Pearl of a Shayla LaVeaux post with another round of “Wrestling Boys” today. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

He's Got Another Thing Coming

Except for the fact that everyone now has to start getting out of bed “early” again, the risqué commune offices have quite the celebration going on — interestingly beginning immediately after the Closing Ceremonies concluded. Clearly not everyone shares the feelings of universal fellowship that watching highly dedicated and gifted individuals either succeed or fail spectacularly can bring. All in all, none of us mind that when we screw up in a really major fashion somewhat fewer than 4 billion people drop by to share in the experience. None of us mind Maverick’s confusion on which celebratory event he has Natalia Forrest representing either. By the way, if 4 billion of you do want to join and watch her, we would be fine with that. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford, Brooklyn Lee, Missy Martinez Video, Zoey Holloway Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars]

Natalia. Closing. Opening. Whatever.

Although we did not know it until learning a bit of “Brit” over these Olympics, apparently we regularly strive to avoid things going sixes and sevens at risqué. Also we have remembered that we need to tell the new Photoshop boss that despite what D.Minion may assert, there is in fact such a thing as too many puppy pictures. On the upside, DM and her ChickaDees took over 200 photos NOT of small domestic animals on the Dallas XXX, Day Three set. You may well find those more interesting. [FEATURED TAGS: Brooklyn Lee Exclusive Video, Bobbi Starr, Alexis Ford]

Dang, have we been there.

The Brits had quite a resurgence in the Olympic games over the weekend, leading in our case to a bevy of “In your FACE, DM!” sorts of emails traveling across the ocean in this direction. While as a group we obviously enjoy a fine, good-natured competitive ribbing amongst ourselves, we Americans really had to admire how polite the British have turned out to be. Maybe you have not noticed, but instead of their own national anthem, every time a British citizen wins a gold medal they insist upon listening to a heart-warming rendition of My Country ’Tis of Thee. You know, maybe they have forgiven us for that whole Revolutionary War thing. … Toward a similar end, Inari Vachs and Cytherea help us with an other-parts-warming exhibition today. God Save the Queens. [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs, Cytherea]

Just the Inari part of our warming up exercises.

Most of us have probably heard New Jersey referred to as “The Garden State” — although if you have only flown in and out of there, or seen the state on television, you might have trouble understanding how in the world they ever came up with that motto, seeing as how most people do not associate a peaceful communing with nature and New Jersey. Regardless, as it turns out, England has a Garden State too, and Maverick introduces us to one of its finest natural resources today. Then we throw in a bit of “Garden” a la Michael Ninn, simply as a helpful counterpoint. We will tell you this much from the outset, however: We don’t exactly get “peaceful” out of these either. “Pieceful” perhaps …. [FEATURED TAGS: Tori Black, Rayveness Video, Anais Video, Crystal Coxxx,, Michael Ninn]

Tori Black. Also “Pieceful” …

Never having seen a water polo match in her life, D.Minion and her “ChickaDees” nevertheless spent a significant part of today watching a contest between the U.S. and the U.K., happily shouting, “In your FACE, Mav!” every time the Americans scored. While this may not say much for sportsmanship here in the office, it does say a bit regarding loyalty. For example, we welcome in a new (typically unnamed) Team Risqué member today, while noting the fine Pearls of Wisdom provided by Shayla LaVeaux. … If nothing else we do remain a loyal group, as D.Minion’s Minions still call themselves ChickaDees even though Dee has been retired going on six years now. Our new fellow has much to look forward to — or maybe much to fear. One can never tell. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Julia Ann]

See how wise the Pearls are?