Moving (Stepanie) “Swiftly”
[You’ve probably learned to worry a bit when we start a post with “editorial blue” — right? Still, we did think it best this way, as the following convention report seems odd, even for D.Minion. At least this time she did not inadvertently change the mpeg settings on her camera, so they’re not itty-bitty, but that doesn’t change their … um … uniqueness it seems. Rather than pump too many more words into this, maybe we should just show you “Angels Wiggle” and you’ll be up to speed here real speedy quicko. Just press “play” here, but don’t say we didn’t warn you. It looks to be a fun day, no?]
If you still feel brave, we will continue with our regularly scheduled chaos.
Erotica Los Angeles, 2008
The past few months have been studies in chaos for me. Nothing linear. Nothing routine. So instead of my usual, “First we did this and then we did that,” story about Erotica LA, I will present it in a vaguely chaotic, non-linear form. As Friedrich Nietzsche said, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” [Please understand that D.Minion exists as one of the most linear (read: binary) humans on the planet; she really doesn’t see the world the way other people do. When we informed her some years ago that as an adult she could have cold pizza for breakfast if she wanted to, she reacted as though we had given her the gift of fire. Also, despite our best efforts, she remains fully convinced that if a woman is “nice” then she is “pretty” — oddly enough completely regardless of said woman’s physical appearance. As for Nietzsche, well, DM is fairly certain that eating chocolate on strawberries will kill you. So there’s your bit of “salt” for this entry (which DM maintains you never, ever put on fruits, by the way).]
Silly me. When I saw Stephanie Swift this year in Vegas at AEE I got hugs, kisses, photos, and autographs, but no contact information. Dang.
Lucky wanted me to make it right at ELA. Oh, and he wanted an audio interview, too. The contact info was easy. The audio interview was difficult. Music blaring, people talking, and the echo of the convention center hall made interviewing Stephanie almost impossible. And dragging her away to a quieter place was out of the question. Stephanie was working! And even a five-minute interview would take at least 15 minutes if you count travel time.
So Stephanie and I huddled up at the Sweetheart Video Booth, and she happily and loudly answered my questions into my mini recorder. It sounds better than I could have hoped, and our audio guru will make it sound even sweeter! [Right. This will happen just as soon as we let him know he should be doing it. Oops. … On the upside, we’ll include a fascinating inside story about Stephanie and risqué somewhere on the bottom of one of these pages. We’d have just put a footnote here, but then Steph might read this and realize that she’d become a footnote entry, and since she’s back working again, she might not like that. Just so you know, it never pays to irritate women that look good naked. … Just so you know.]