April 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/29/13 How many adult web sites can you think of that spend any time at all talking about the weather? Well, this one does, but in all honesty we have historically shunned any attempts to find out if people ever question our sanity. Seriously, what good can ever come of a question like that? At best you learn what you already know, and at worst … well, let’s just get on with our weather forecast with Keri Windsor, shall we? … Beats the heck out of some graphical map with a bunch of “Ls” and “Hs” all over it. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Keri Windsor Video]
Good Forecast
4/25/13 Apparently the NFL Draft begins tonight, with all sort of people simply thrilled beyond belief that they will have something new to talk about in a sport that will not even see competitive action for another five months or so. Of course these same people have been spending time listening to a radio station where people call in and ask what might hypothetically happen if any number of a lengthy string of variables turn out in one precise way. So there’s that. … All in all, the whole Ménage à Trois competition seems easier to understand, so we mainly consider that instead. [STAR TAGS: Meghan Sweet, Hanna Reilly, Jenna Jameson Video, Eva Tiffany Video]
4/21/13 April 22nd — a fine day in many regards — also happens to celebrate Earth Day once again, so we should be fruitful and multiply, or multiply some fruit trees, or conifers or something. You should probably not try to be overly fruitful with conifers in private, however, as that sounds like it might hurt. In our Risqué Business efforts to contribute to a Green Earth, we have thoughtfully provided some soothing activities for afterwards courtesy of Shayla LaVeaux and Wendy Divine, actually. Heck, you probably won’t even have time to look up the word deciduous. [STAR TAGS: Wendy Divine, Maya Divine, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]
Divine Relaxation Methods
4/20/13 Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.’ … With all due respect to the wonderful contributions to the world made by Ms. Keller, it still seems like it might be better to be able to see TJ Hart and Randy Spears today. Seriously, “heartfelt” takes on a whole new dimension. In the vein (speaking of hearts, and all), we would like to publicly thank Kylie Ireland for her ever-unique contributions to our little group. Also, we would like to apologize for our pundit influence on her team. … Um … Oops. [STAR TAGS: TJ Hart Video]
Shot through the hear, and we're to blame.
4/15/13 It would seem appropriate on this particular date in America to offer up some decidedly non-taxable benefits for our members. We even go so far as to tip our hats to the Living Art of Cytherea — happily without needing to declare those tips, per se. We fully intended to work the U.K. taxation system into this introduction as well until we realized that even as a group we understand their methodology even less than we understand our own. We did come up with a question, however: If you decide to masturbate in the “Loo,” does that make you Looney? [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com]
Shayla LaVeaux
4/9/13 Protracted political observations highlight our insights today, certainly destined to keep you awake at night trying to reconcile centuries-old principles with policy for a modern and progressive America. Or you might prefer to look at the fun photos Kristal Summers sends in from her cell phone, or even watch Kristal and Shayla in nude preparation for — well, predictable — future interaction. We of course think you should spend valuable time thinking about contemporary political issues, but have provided handy-dandy icons to skip over those wordy parts — just in case. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]
Kristal Showing Both Sides.
4/6/13 We had a deeply thought-provoking and erudite (at least in a music history sense) introduction ready today, involving legends Tina Turner and Rod Stewart pairing for a grand display. Then someone (We will not mention who, but it rhymes with C.Minion) pointed out that Donny and Marie also sang It Takes Two. Basically that killed the whole idea. One can in fact know too much music history as it turns out. You will have to fill in your own intro for “What’s in Two Names?” Sorry about that. [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler, Jeanie Marie Sullivan Video]
Lee Stone and Jeanie Marie
4/1/13 Somewhere along the line we all learned that “fools rush in where brave men fear to tread.” Of course none of us really “tread” all that much anymore, preferring to mosey, chill, blend, or some other term you have to be freshly out of your teens to even know. Those with skills born of long experience among us may even saunter, but nobody treads. Of course by the time you may be reading this, we have no idea what the current expression for “hanging out” will be, but you should be doing that as you read some righteous news today. Groovy. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Sunny Leone, Julie Cash, Kylie Ireland Video, Julia Ann Video, Michael Ninn]
Strong Useful Friends