November 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


In a wild fit of traditional journalistic glee, we set about actually researching a topic. We set out our questions. We found an expert in the field. We conducted an interview. We took careful notes before transcribing our masterpiece. … So that fact that we just happened to be asking Dee about the relative merits of computer geeks could have had something to do with our enthusiasm, but we don’t really get a chance to use the word journalistic around here very often, so we’re still happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video,]

Decoding Dee - Delightfully

We make ourselves feel better by believing that “all things happen for a reason,” but would we not all feel better that when things do happen they include this reason along with the event as a handy explanation? Of course we habitually eschew the morose at risqué and our bright side invariably includes beautiful naked women, so we’re thinking the relevant deities might not feel much of a need for justification in our case. … That probably makes sense, as does Alexis Ford in this context. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford Video, Ayla Marie]

Alexis Ford

Some clever person in the office noted that “Assassin” — when used in the risqué realm — sounds more like a three-way between a guy and two anal-friendly women than it does either a not very nice person or a video game. Then a different clever person pointed out that it could perhaps more easily refer to basically any scene in a gay male movie. That pretty much covered our “analysis” of the whole Ass-Ass-In concept, so we moved along to fixing a slight oversight in the post a couple of days ago, helpfully this time with the assistance of Keri Windsor and a Kylie Ireland archive. All in all, Keri and Kylie were a lot more fun to consider that gay sex scenes. Of course we’re undoubtedly biased. [FEATURED TAGS: Keri Windsor, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland, Michael Ninn]


It may come as a bit of a surprise, but as a group we do not tend to be “gamers” in this office. New people always bring interesting new things into our lives, though, and thus we have recently learned that the new Assassin’s Creed III features the British military as the villains in the adventure. Thanksgiving seemed like the perfect chance for us to assure Maverick and his countrymen and women that nobody asked us about this decision before they did it. Obviously we would have simply deferred to Shayla, and she seems very friendly with new people. You can observe inputs (as it were) from both Mav and Shayla as you try to avoid the inevitable food comas later in the day. … Do save room for pie, however. Life’s short. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Anna Joy Exclusive Video,]

Excellent Foreign Relations

Dear and Decidedly Desirable Dee has determined to rejoin our (dare we say dysfunctional) Digital Division, and we welcome her back to the fold with … well, sadly nothing that starts with the letter “D” as it turns out. What we lacked in completing the alliterative avenue, however, we more than make up for with Dee’s request at a “redux” of some of her earliest Risqué Commune work — this time of the DP variety as a matter of fact. Speaking of Dee’s folds[FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Tina Tyler, Michael Ninn]

Dee's Desires Unfolding, As it Were

If you have three C’s and a pair of D’s you probably have Cytherea on the Central Coast — topless. Of course you could have Cytherea and that weird triple-breasted woman from the old Star Trek episode, but none of us will admit to knowing anything at all about old Star Trek episodes, so let’s just go with the Cytherea Topless at a friend’s house bit. By the way, does anyone know the trouble with tribbles? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video]

Cytherea Victorious.

Other than our friends Ernest Greene and Kylie Ireland, we can’t really think of very many people that think foreplay requires a fine collection of soft ropes, assorted gags (not the funny kind), and various incarnations of whipping devices. It seems, though, that we need to add Summer Cummings into that group, as she aptly demonstrates today with the buxom assistance of Kristal Summers. One thing we have learned, case in point via D.Minion today, if you want to make very large breasts look even larger, ropes can assist you. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie]

Kristal Summers

Ah, politics. … We decided to transition from the political world at least slightly with a memorable dip into the fantasy pool with Cytherea. As burglars go, one could think of a lot worse suspects to catch outside there home in the dead of night seems obvious. Of course the thing about politics that perhaps set it apart has to be that half the people think it IS fantasy, and the other half — generally the losers — wish with all their hearts that it were. Naturally our industry remains particularly well suited for the arena, however. After all, we’re all used to strange bedfellows. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Flesh on Flashlight

Regardless of how an election turns out, you always end up with two primary groups of people. One will be running around spouting brief exclamations such as, “Yippee!” (or in our case, “What Ho!”). And you will be able to quickly pick out the other collection of individuals by their glum faces and glazed stares that convey a distinct “How the hell did this happen?” feel. While the woulda, shoulda, coulda faction decides which lawyers to hire, we have decided to move along with Kristal Summers, her activities being particularly pertinent today. As painful as today may feel for the losing sides right now, however, we would still advise them to cherish these feelings. Wait until they get the money estimates from the attorneys. That’ll put a whole new meaning on woulda, shoulda, coulda … . [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Cytherea]


Unlike all the television commercials you have grown completely sick of over the last three months (or longer, depending) we do not actually care for whom or what you vote for tomorrow. We do, however, care a great deal about whether you vote at all. Even putting aside all the potentially viable arguments that your one vote will not make any difference because by nightfall we often “know” who won anyway, voting serves a vital public interest. You may in fact affect local elections or propositions, after all, and besides, you could find it very useful in the coming weeks and months. Even if your side loses, you can always say later when everything runs amok, “Hey. It’s not my fault. I voted the other way.” [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Erica McLean Video]


Rarely can a vast majority of people agree on anything, but it seems safe to say that regardless of one’s political affiliations, we are ALL tired of all the television commercials telling us how we should feel. In the background of one local spot this week, though, we spied a poster on the wall behind some woman talking about something or other. At this point we have no idea what she was for or against, but the poster said, “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.” We feature our own political correspondent today in Kylie Ireland, and we do plan to ask her what the current posters on her walls say. How did people live before TIVO? That must have been hard. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]