January 2009 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


So Day One with DM concludes today as we "coitus continuus and culminatus" — which probably isn’t proper Latin if you want to know the truth. (Yeah, we know: You’re shocked.) Fortunately you don’t need to be fluent in dead languages to understand the festive lesbian attitudes on this day on the sweltering set. That said, if you know obscure Ray Stevens songs, you can have a dandy time humming Along Came Jones when Georgia makes her faithfully anticipated appearance. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Jones, Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Sophia Lynn, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]

A good Jones to keep up with, that Georgia.

You don’t often get a chance to look Behind-The-Scenes in our fundamentally Behind-The-Scenes approach on risque.com. We decided, though, that it would be worth the effort if we gave you such an opportunity today. Of course, a more in-depth (as it were) look at Kristal Summers as she began her learning curve on our first risqué chat sessions can pretty much justify a great deal of effort. And considering how miserable "work" happens to be for most people today, assuming they still have a place to actually go to work, spending an inordinate amount of time working with Kristal naked somehow doesn’t seem like much of a chore.  [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Kristal Contemplates Toy Land - For Adults

Oddly enough, we find ourselves guilty of coitus interruptus today, which doesn’t often happen considering our line of work. That said, given the fact that we left D.Minion pretty much alone for an entire week, we probably should have anticipated that her next On-The-Set piece would end up another in the list of her occasional "epic" productions. Consequently, you’re seeing a first-ever, "Day 1A" version of another Lesson in the Life of D.Minion. … Of course we could be wrong about that "first-ever" part, as we’ve been doing this so long that we occasionally forget when we’ve done something before. Actually, come to think of it, one of the oddest things about us might be that we regularly forget how odd we are. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Georgia Jones, Sophia Lynn, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]

An artistic rendition of an adorned cell phone. Really.

Because we have a half-dozen stories about the AEE in the queue, Maverick felt it appropriate to submit a story about Erotica 2008 in London. Seriously, most of us here hold the opinion that all that rain over there seeps into the brain after enough exposure. On the other hand, Maverick could just be bragging that performers in London can be topless at their conventions, which we’ll grudgingly admit does give England one up on us in this specific instance. We’re still winning, though. [FEATURED TAGS: 247AdultStars.com]

Presumably working on a Spit Shine

So almost all of us, on this inauguration day, are doing our darndest to honestly believe, "Yes. We. Can." … And, of course, St. Louis Rams fans are trying to come to grips with the fact that the quarterback they dumped for being too old has taken a different team to the Super Bowl this year. Thus we felt obligated to at least mention recent NFL news, and then completely ignore political current events. (Because that’s how we are.) We do have some atypical views of the recent AEE show decorations, and some perhaps not atypical exactly, but certainly entertaining, adult video activity. While the rest of you are enjoying these options, we will offer a bit of solace to the Rams fans out there: Come next April, you’ll get a lot better draft choice than those poor folks employing Mr. Warner. [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo]


Channeling Sylvester the Cat and Daffy Duck seems a bit odd, even for us, but somehow that accurately describes how we begin today. On the upside, although providing a potentially animated introduction to the Adult Entertainment Expo, circa 2009, we do get back in touch with real women fairly quickly. And if you think about it, that’s pretty much the point of life, isn’t it, even if you do happen to be a bit Looney Tunes? [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, Shayla LaVeaux]

Magical thoughts directed at D.Minion

As many of you probably know already, D.Minion chose to lie around eating bon-bons while watching old Beverly Hillbillies episodes while the rest of us headed off to Las Vegas for days and days of grueling exchanges with scantily-clad porn stars. (Alright, that’s not really the reason DM didn’t go with us this year, but it made for a dandy visual, didn’t it?) … Well, we happened to run in to our old friend Vicca in a casino while we were there, and it seemed a fine opportunity to call up Ms. Minion and say something subtle like, "Hey, do you think you might be able to pull some archived Vicca content we haven’t used while you’re busy letting your nails dry?" (Alright (again), while we did actually say that, we remain too stunned by DM’s response to repeat it here.) … D.Minion did uncover some wonderful new photo sets for everyone though, and, just for the record, we’re pretty sure some of those suggestions she had do in fact constitute biological impossibilities, no matter how colorful the descriptions. By the way, we did ask Vicca if she wanted to go to the convention and attend the AVN Awards show with us for old times’ sake. She said, "Um. No, thank you." And then she laughed for altogether too long a period of time it seemed to us. … At least it sounds much nicer being turned down with a Russian accent. We miss Vicca, even if she can be mean … .  [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca]

Vicca showing the difference between a rock and a soft place.

Well it’s been rather hectic getting ready for this year’s convention, since D.Minion won’t be able to attend this time around. Turns out she does a lot of work at these gatherings, which means Maverick, and Lon, and SteveD have a lot of slack to pick up. Anxious to assume their new roles, Mav and Lon are already in Las Vegas, but Mav took time to show off his interview techniques via a topless trip with Kristal Summers. We were going to point out the irony of using D.Minion’s interview as Mav sets out to show his own skills in the area, but as far as we can tell, irony gets wasted on the Brits. We’ll be back first of the week with … well, something probably. Take care until then. Here goes nothing …  [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, 247AdultStars.com]

Kristal wearing one of our favorite outfits. Her.

Happy New Year! … At least the prevailing theory seems to be that we should all feel more positively about things now — because it’s one day later. … Have you been watching the national news lately? The first story always focuses on the truly sucky nature of the economy, and the second launches into desperate pleas for banks to start lending and consumers to start spending again. It seems like they’re trying to scare us into not being frightened. Right? Now being much wiser than this, Maverick has chosen to demonstrate his "Best" version of the immediate future, this being in the fetching form of his own Suzie Best. Maybe they have learned a few things in England over the centuries. [FEATURED TAGS: Suzie Best, 247AdultStars.com]

Who cares about the economy?