May 2005 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


It’s Memorial Day Weekend, as most of the US folks know, and we’re celebrating. True, most Americans likely can’t even remember what we’re supposed to be memorializing (as anyone that’s ever seen “Jaywalking” on The Tonight Show can attest), but a very few people might recall that some people have spent millions of dollars, and some rather more important people have died, giving us the chance to carve our little free niche in the world. So grill some beef. Eat some hotdogs. Play frisbee with your dog. … And try not to be too upset with the fact that banks are closed on Monday. At least most of you don’t have to go to work, after all. Oh, and if you’ve got the time, you might check out D.Minion’s Risqué Retrospective. Nobody died, and not even any animals were harmed, in this little synopsis of time. But, gee, ain’t it funny how time slips away? [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis DeVell, Kaylan Nicole, Norma Jean, Serenity, Shayla LaVeaux, D.Minion]

Back when the old stuff was new: Alexis DeVell, Kaylan Nicole, Serenity, Norma Jean ... and some chick named Shayla.

The Porn Industry hasn’t quite figured out the deceptively important concept of picking a title with care. We tend to name things with what they ARE, rather than what they’re ABOUT. Of course many would say that’s simply because the adult “movies” are exactly what they are about, but those people are still wearing trenchcoats and looking for cheap thrills from a hole in the wall if you ask me. Fortunately, no one asks me much, and so I can spend my time enjoying Dee Directing once again. Also, I don’t blame her for the title. You can now enjoy her too. Let’s not think about the trenchcoat crowd for the whole weekend, OK? [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Ashley Blue, D.Minion]

How about “Mystery Loves Company” starring Ashley Blue and Mr. Marcus?

Over the years we’ve come to understand that it’s always preferable to wake up with a beautiful woman. Sometimes it’s even nice to wake up with three beautiful women, and if those women happen to be Juli Ashton, Julia Ann, and Becca … well, you’re obviously still asleep because you’re dreaming. Still we’re big on vicarious existence around here so you might as well sit back and enjoy something we (very cleverly, we might add) call Sybian Rivalry … OK. Maybe we’re still sleeping too.  [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Julia Ann, Becca]

This would be Julia Ann, Becca, and Juli Ashton, naturally ... so to speak.
Julia Ann's Web Site
Becca's Web Site

So you meet a new person, and you’re still in the getting to know each other stage, right? Well somebody new on the Risqué periphery was describing a friend of hers. “She’s a real Right-Winger,” says the strange new person (who gets stranger by the minute sometimes), “but she’s a closet liberal, because she has gay friends, and even a Jewish one.”

Good Grief: One step forward. Two steps back. Eeek! …

Aside from the patently offensive implications here, we also saw a dandy opportunity to introduce Night Calls from March of 2005, since we love irony in all of its many forms. You see, this particular Night Calls episode, besides featuring the usual Juli Ashton and Tiffany Granath raucousness, had a group of beautiful female boxers as their guests, and if I ever knew two women that needed a punch in the mouth … well, you just heard from them on the periphery. What a strange world porn makes. That’s what we always say … [FEATURED TAGS: Night Calls, Juli Ashton, Tiffany Granath, Dee, D.Minion]

Juli and Tiffany ... glad they're not in the ring ...

“Sometimes it’s sweetness and light here in Porn Valley, but sometimes things don’t work out exactly as planned. Here’s the story of a movie shoot, The Dinner Party 3, for Ultimate, directed by Nicholas Steele, that didn’t quite work out as planned.” That’s the introduction that D.Minion wrote for this story. I’ll try again to explain to her that “sweetness and light” are relative terms, but until then you can enjoy the story. And isn’t “light sweetness” a nouveau term for fake sugar? Eeek … [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Isabella, Lonnie, D.Minion]

Dee's thigh that binds.

We thought we’d spice up the start of the weekend with a bit of nostalgia, a bit of digital evolution, a small bit of Kristal Summers and Becca, and more than a small bit of Wendy Divine and Eric Masterson. You’ve also learned something for your grilling efforts this weekend. It’s always good to spice in small bits. You can always add more … [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Becca, Wendy Divine, D.Minion]

That rotten Eric gets to be in the backseat with Wendy ... No fair.

I got fired from my job last week, and I was pretty upset about it. So I was watching the surf, eating a couple of wonderfully spicy carne asada tacos and sipping fresh limeade (that I got from a tiny beach-side place most people never even notice) when I thought, “Hey! Wait a minute. She can’t fire me: I own the company.” Then I felt much better. Still, we’re pretty honest around here, and so if you’ve a mind to hear it, I’ll tell you the story. You can always just look for some amazing Friday the Thirteenth Bonus stuff instead. What did you expect from a guy named Lucky? Oh, and this picture will find its explanation. Really … [FEATURED TAGS: Phoenix Ray, Justine Joli, Audrey Hollander Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]

The site of my demise.

Somehow we woke up on Monday and it became Inari Vachs week. Usually we have at least two or three “groups” working on content for the site, and for some reason everybody ended up with Inari at Hedonism for their “random” selection this time. Maybe it’s something in the water, or cosmos, or something … or maybe a lot of people just think Inari’s really, really pretty … Whatever. We can live with Inari, Shore ‘Nuf …  [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs]

Don't you really love swimming?

OK. So we admit that it’s been awhile since we ventured by the site here, but we’ve been hanging out with Michael Ninn on the set of what we think will be one dandy piece of filmography. Also, we’ve been consorting with various porno babes that think they want our directional advice, and we’ve been reading about famous women that died in 1799. Hey, it’s been a busy week. There are interesting things in the works, y’all … Wait. Isn’t it a curse to live in interesting times? [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs, Dee, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]

Dee. As in Dee-lightful.