Filed Under: Cytherea

January 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/13	Don’t you just hate it when two roads diverge in the yellow woods, and come to find out you’ve been in the redwoods this whole time? Then when you find out that all the pretty girls were in those yellow woods, well, it can make you really sad. On the upside, we always have hope for the next time, just as soon as we figure out where we should be wandering. That’s the trouble with the Internet: It created too many forests. [STAR TAGS: Lexi Diamond, Zarena Summers Video, Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux]
1/28/13	If you work in Information Technology (IT) you probably have compiled your own list of things you really do not want to hear from people in your company. We feel safe in assuming that, “Hey, how do I get chocolate out of my keyboard?” to be right up there with the icky ones. … It seems that D.Minion has discovered something called “Choco Tacos” recently, though, and she approaches their use with her usual confident naiveté. Sometimes that works out better for her than others as you will with see with the soon to be classic game, Name That Strip Club Tune. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea]
1/23/13	As it turned out, not everyone did in fact get to go to the AEE this year, as one of those boring (but well paying) “other” kinds of clients required attention. Consequently those of us that did attend will need to explain all the wildly entertaining things they missed this time around — and we get to do it for an entire year. (Woo-HOO!) … So … the group set ground on a tour of this oft-charted desert isle … and then a whole bunch of stuff happened that we’ll get to later. For now, just understand that we had a million phones, a billion lights, and many motor cars to go with a skipper, at least a couple millionaires (but no wives), one professor, many, many movie stars — and likely at least a few first matings going on. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2013, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]
1/14/13	Since for some reason we all find ourselves heading out to the parade of porn stars in Las Vegas this year, we thought we should leave you for a week or so with the fine thoughts and images of Lon and Kylie. Come to find out, once people discover that Kristal Summers will be riding with us to the AEE, suddenly everyone sees a critical need for their attendance. When we take the 7-hour drive with Maverick, we don’t have nearly so many volunteers. Go figure. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2012, Jessica Drake, Sunset Thomas, Julia Ann, Kaylani Lei, Alektra Blue, Sunny Leone, Kristina Rose, Lexi Belle, Misty Stone, Skin Diamond]
1/12/13	Actually naming an adult movie “Naked” would be like choosing “Food” as the name for a cookbook. Fortunately the wise folks at Adam & Eve decided not to follow the “working title” recommendation, choosing Intimate Encounters 3 as the official release name. Granted, once people start putting numbers after a title it does tend to diminish the program as unique unto itself, but with D.Minion on set for Day One, we can be absolutely sure of one thing: We will definitely get unique. [STAR TAGS: Jeanie Marie Sullivan, Misty Stone Exclusive Video, Ashlynne Leigh Exclusive Video, Marie McCray]
1/9/13	Anyone can cover a porn convention and come up with fascinating insights and (even more easily) photographs of beautiful women. But only truly exceptional folks can cover a porn convention before it even happens — as Steve has done today. Granted, technically this all refers to the 2012 convention, but that’s a minor detail. Porn stars. Real Dolls. And Lon. … What else does one need in order to provide concupiscent enlightenment? (OK. So you could need a dictionary. Maybe.) [STAR TAGS: AEE 2012, Cytherea, Jessica Drake Exclusive Video, Kayden Kross, Jesse Jane, Stoya, Brooklyn Lee, Bree Olsen, Julia Ann, Belladonna, Tasha Reign, Stormy Daniels, Sophie Dee, Ron Jeremy]
1/5/13	Suppose you had a friend that justified trying to put a Hello Kitty toaster and a giant troll doll in her carry-on luggage by explaining that any TSA agent that found them in her checked baggage might be tempted to steal them? And suppose this same friend spent her free time watching her favorite types of adult movie scenes, these being either double penetrations or solo female? … Well in that case another friend that spent her first few minutes in a new location looking for fun places to masturbate might seem sort of normal, right? Life is simply a matter of perspective with D.Minion and Shayla around. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
1/1/13	We could talk about how simply postponing a decision for two months does not “avoid” a cliff nearly so much as “postpone” it. Or we could talk about how the “last minute” congressional compromise sure looks a heck of a lot like the exact same solution they had on the table a couple of weeks ago. … But why would we do that when we could welcome 2013 with Dee’s 4-Way Lesbian Dilemma instead? Clever beings that we are, we decided that we would not. [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton Video, Rayveness Video, Charlie Video, Ashlynn Leigh, Marie McCray, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Stars:Alektra Blue| Ashlynne Leigh| Belladonna| Bree Olsen| Brooklyn Lee| Charlie| Cytherea| Jeanie Marie Sullivan| Jesse Jane| Jessica Drake| Julia Ann| Kayden Kross| Kaylani Lei| Kristal Summers| Kristina Rose| Lexi Belle| Lexi Diamond| Marie McCray| Misty Stone| Ron Jeremy| Shayla LaVeaux| Skin Diamond| Sophie Dee| Stormy Daniels| Stoya| Sunny Leone| Sunset Thomas| Tasha Reign| Zarena Summers

Year:2013

Related Sites:Shayla.com

December 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/12	Who knew that by watching a highly anticipated (well, by some) football game you could be inundated with advertisements for a new television show on AMC featuring “Competitive Taxidermy” of all things? Who knew that taxidermy could be competitive? … Who knew they even still did taxidermy? We have some other thoughts on year’s end today, none of which feature dead animals, just in case you were curious. [FEATURED TAGS: Happy New Year!]
12/29/12	You may not have noticed, but if you put all the College Bowl Games together, you could have a heck of a party. You could wear Russel Athletics or New Era Pinstripes, if you knew what those were, maybe. You’d have Tostitos, Buffalo Wings, Idaho Potatoes, Chick-fil-A, Little Caesars Pizza, and even Beef ‘O’ Brady and Outback to eat. You could decorate the place with roses, sip orange juice while you get some sugar from your sweetie, and even stuff cotton in your ears if she started complaining that you were not fighting her hunger with Kraft sufficiently. You’d have wonderful things to talk about like insurance, or car care, wireless services, or taxes, mortgages, or Korean cars. You could even discuss what the heck scantily-clad women and beautiful race car drivers have to do with web domain registration. Best of all, you’d have a Bell Helicopter to escape if some folks started remembering the Alamo a bit too enthusiastically. … Fortunately, none of that had anything to do with even more Shayla today. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]
12/27/12	Shayla has a special day today well worthy of celebrating. Also in our occasionally not completely behind efforts to bring the really old pages up to modern standards, we will run across some original photos now and again. We weren’t horribly disorganized back in those days, but if someone had told us the sites would last this long, we would have done things differently. … It’s sort of like that old saying, “You know, if I’d have known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” … Except we still get Shayla naked. That helps a lot with most things. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Alexandra Silk, Missy]
12/25/12	We wish you a Merry Christmas. And if you do not happen to celebrate Christmas, well we wish you a merry day of the miscellaneous variety. We’re friendly that way. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]
12/24/12	Too often in life we lose old friends, whether that be to any of the Big Three options — Sex, Love, Money — or not. Of course “losing” implies a lot of stuff way too deep for discussion here, and sometimes you just want to dance around in a circle like some Charles M. Schultz character not yet burdened by anything really icky — like three dimensions. Say, for example, if you “lose old friends” but then they come back, were they really lost — or simply slapping you upside the face with preternatural insight? … Yeah. We don’t care either. … Basically Kylie makes everything better in our experience. Anything else, well that’s too deep for our pond. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland, Anais Video]
12/21/12	We could hardly deny that we have been guilty of perpetrating some fairly tortured logic in our quests to tie miscellaneous bits of our lives together so that we might present it for your viewing pleasure. Of course all of this pales in comparison with trying to explicate poetry from 1788. Fortunately, you can easily enjoy Cytherea — in cam show and still form — as well as Kelly Kline, without any iambic pentameter at all. They are women without meter, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Kelly Kline, Cytherea Exclusive Video]
12/18/12	We learned on some crime show the other night that a pig’s orgasm can last up to 30 minutes. Now we’re on enough weird Google Search lists somebody keeps compiled somewhere, so we chose not to really pursue the statement any further, but we did realize that if true this sort of adds a whole new dimension to the expression, “In a pig’s eye,” does it not? … Hey, you spend a few hours watching Dee do a DP and a fine Brit offer up Holiday greetings, and see how your brain feels. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton, May, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com, Michael Ninn]
12/17/12	You have to be careful how much you really think about things, because you can wind up somewhere no one actually intended. Of course we have found that beer does a dandy job in relieving a befuddled state — or at least it seems to — but if you have to drive somewhere, consider ice cream in its place. Whatever the case, you may find simply looking at (or watching) Shayla LaVeaux, as well as Wendy Divine, might be the best approach this time around. Either that or you might need a lot of ice cream. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Maya Divine, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Capri Anderson Exclusive Video]
12/12/12	Naturally we had to do an update at 12:12 on 12/12/12 because otherwise D.Minion would be very sad. Worse yet, then we couldn’t make it up to her for 100 years, by which point she’d be not only officially peeved, but also really, really old. Fortunately Mr. Ninn and Cytherea happen by to help us reach our desired goal, even if the precise timing might be a bit difficult to prove in court or anything. If it’s always 5:00 somewhere, then it stands to reason that it’s always 12:12 somewhere too, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Cassidey Video, Renee Perez Video, Brea Bennett Video, Nikki Kane Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Vicca, Shayla LaVeaux, Ashley Renee, Paisley Hunter, Payton Alexander, Ruby, Kortknee, Emanuelle, Jill Kelly, Michael Ninn]
12/10/12	In case any of you were thinking about moving into the middle of nowhere to be with Steve, he has some excellent news for you. Although the temperature outside when he woke up yesterday morning had only reached nine degrees, by mid day the thermometer had skyrocketed to a balmy ten on the Fahrenheit scale. … OR you could plan on meeting Kristal in Florida next time she visits. All in all, that might be warmer. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]
12/7/12	Most of you have probably barely been able to contain your excitement at the prospect of catching even a glimpse of Cytherea’s personal valet, MrT, in some photographs. Well, we can happily tell you that your wait is finally over! Woo-HOO! … Now we did have to surround those two or three important photos with a bunch more of Cytherea shaving and getting tattoos applied to make her scars less distracting on video, of course. But you can just ignore all those annoying porn star images and enjoy MrT — at least his hands and the back of his head. In case you were curious, Cy does always use waterproof temporary tattoos. Turns out that’s a good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
12/4/12	You probably noticed that we have all now officially reached the season where we can start thinking about the cool presents we want other people to give us for free again. True, retailers seem to be making “this time of year” fall earlier and earlier on the calendar, but once we hit December it seems fair for all of us to acknowledge it in general. Even if next year they start advertising Christmas right after the 4th of July, we will still look forward to the holiday offerings from Sam Phillips, actually. She has a unique way, that Sam. [FEATURED TAGS: Sam Phillips, Tasha Reign, Breanne Benson, Sophia Knight]
12/2/12	Lamentations abound today regarding the rapid demise of Flash becoming more and more apparent. Less bothersome to our leadership at least will be the reference to the public disintegration of a heretofore quite pompous organization in the National Football League. On the off chance that neither of these two topics hold any interest for you, we sneak in an announcement that might, and if that doesn’t work we have over 30 minutes of video that might give you a pleasant “mind space” in which to ruminate — or whatever. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Kylie Ireland, Cytherea Video, Michael Ninn]

November 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/29/12	In a wild fit of traditional journalistic glee, we set about actually researching a topic. We set out our questions. We found an expert in the field. We conducted an interview. We took careful notes before transcribing our masterpiece. … So that fact that we just happened to be asking Dee about the relative merits of computer geeks could have had something to do with our enthusiasm, but we don’t really get a chance to use the word journalistic around here very often, so we’re still happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
11/26/12	We make ourselves feel better by believing that “all things happen for a reason,” but would we not all feel better that when things do happen they include this reason along with the event as a handy explanation? Of course we habitually eschew the morose at risqué and our bright side invariably includes beautiful naked women, so we’re thinking the relevant deities might not feel much of a need for justification in our case. … That probably makes sense, as does Alexis Ford in this context. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford Video, Ayla Marie]
11/24/12	Some clever person in the office noted that “Assassin” — when used in the risqué realm — sounds more like a three-way between a guy and two anal-friendly women than it does either a not very nice person or a video game. Then a different clever person pointed out that it could perhaps more easily refer to basically any scene in a gay male movie. That pretty much covered our “analysis” of the whole Ass-Ass-In concept, so we moved along to fixing a slight oversight in the shayla.com post a couple of days ago, helpfully this time with the assistance of Keri Windsor and a Kylie Ireland archive. All in all, Keri and Kylie were a lot more fun to consider that gay sex scenes. Of course we’re undoubtedly biased. [FEATURED TAGS: Keri Windsor, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland, Michael Ninn]
11/22/12	It may come as a bit of a surprise, but as a group we do not tend to be “gamers” in this office. New people always bring interesting new things into our lives, though, and thus we have recently learned that the new Assassin’s Creed III features the British military as the villains in the adventure. Thanksgiving seemed like the perfect chance for us to assure Maverick and his countrymen and women that nobody asked us about this decision before they did it. Obviously we would have simply deferred to Shayla, and she seems very friendly with new people. You can observe inputs (as it were) from both Mav and Shayla as you try to avoid the inevitable food comas later in the day. … Do save room for pie, however. Life’s short. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
11/19/12	Dear and Decidedly Desirable Dee has determined to rejoin our (dare we say dysfunctional) Digital Division, and we welcome her back to the fold with … well, sadly nothing that starts with the letter “D” as it turns out. What we lacked in completing the alliterative avenue, however, we more than make up for with Dee’s request at a “redux” of some of her earliest Risqué Commune work — this time of the DP variety as a matter of fact. Speaking of Dee’s folds … [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Tina Tyler, Michael Ninn]
11/17/12	If you have three C’s and a pair of D’s you probably have Cytherea on the Central Coast — topless. Of course you could have Cytherea and that weird triple-breasted woman from the old Star Trek episode, but none of us will admit to knowing anything at all about old Star Trek episodes, so let’s just go with the Cytherea Topless at a friend’s house bit. By the way, does anyone know the trouble with tribbles? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video]
11/13/12	Other than our friends Ernest Greene and Kylie Ireland, we can’t really think of very many people that think foreplay requires a fine collection of soft ropes, assorted gags (not the funny kind), and various incarnations of whipping devices. It seems, though, that we need to add Summer Cummings into that group, as she aptly demonstrates today with the buxom assistance of Kristal Summers. One thing we have learned, case in point via D.Minion today, if you want to make very large breasts look even larger, ropes can assist you. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie]
11/10/12	Ah, politics. … We decided to transition from the political world at least slightly with a memorable dip into the fantasy pool with Cytherea. As burglars go, one could think of a lot worse suspects to catch outside there home in the dead of night seems obvious. Of course the thing about politics that perhaps set it apart has to be that half the people think it IS fantasy, and the other half — generally the losers — wish with all their hearts that it were. Naturally our industry remains particularly well suited for the arena, however. After all, we’re all used to strange bedfellows. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
11/7/12	Regardless of how an election turns out, you always end up with two primary groups of people. One will be running around spouting brief exclamations such as, “Yippee!” (or in our case, “What Ho!”). And you will be able to quickly pick out the other collection of individuals by their glum faces and glazed stares that convey a distinct “How the hell did this happen?” feel. While the woulda, shoulda, coulda faction decides which lawyers to hire, we have decided to move along with Kristal Summers, her activities being particularly pertinent today. As painful as today may feel for the losing sides right now, however, we would still advise them to cherish these feelings. Wait until they get the money estimates from the attorneys. That’ll put a whole new meaning on woulda, shoulda, coulda … . [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Cytherea]
11/5/12	Unlike all the television commercials you have grown completely sick of over the last three months (or longer, depending) we do not actually care for whom or what you vote for tomorrow. We do, however, care a great deal about whether you vote at all. Even putting aside all the potentially viable arguments that your one vote will not make any difference because by nightfall we often “know” who won anyway, voting serves a vital public interest. You may in fact affect local elections or propositions, after all, and besides, you could find it very useful in the coming weeks and months. Even if your side loses, you can always say later when everything runs amok, “Hey. It’s not my fault. I voted the other way.” [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Erica McLean Video]
11/1/12	Rarely can a vast majority of people agree on anything, but it seems safe to say that regardless of one’s political affiliations, we are ALL tired of all the television commercials telling us how we should feel. In the background of one local spot this week, though, we spied a poster on the wall behind some woman talking about something or other. At this point we have no idea what she was for or against, but the poster said, “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.” We feature our own political correspondent today in Kylie Ireland, and we do plan to ask her what the current posters on her walls say. How did people live before TIVO? That must have been hard. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

Stars:Alexis Ford| Anna Joy| Ayla Marie| Cytherea| Dee| Erica McLean| Goldie| Keri Windsor| Kristal Summers| Kylie Ireland| Michael Ninn| Shayla LaVeaux| Summer Cummings| Tina Tyler

Year:2012

October 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/12	You know what might be really fun tonight? Send someone else out to beg for tooth decay with the whiny ones while you stay home and think deeply political thoughts. … Well, Julia Ann and Samantha Ryan do drop by, and we did indeed provide the necessary political fodder, but you will have to decide for yourself how to proceed. That’s what the Democratic process is all about, right? Even if you decide not to be overly political today, you can feel good about stealing the candy later. After all, think how much you’ll be saving in dental bills. See? It’s all in how you look at it. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann Video, Samantha Ryan Video]
10/30/12	Views vary widely regarding the topic of television in general, but it would be difficult to argue that whatever the shortcomings (or “evil” perhaps) a great many positive influences have sprung from the little box. Many a cultural wave has begun via some memorable line springing forth from a fictional character on TV. Despite this, dangers lurk, and we must remain vigilant in our filtering of the freely flowing electronic data. Case in point: On a recent rerun of 2 Broke Girls an overly jubilant protagonist exclaims (more than a few times), “Yeah, I have a tiny little dog, and I carry her everywhere with me. So what?” … Of all the wonderful lines in all the history of television, guess which one D.Minion has learned. Fortunately all of us have Shayla and Maverick to distract us today. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
10/23/12	Depending upon at what point along the time spectrum you happen to be visiting here, you may have found us in catch-up mode. According to popular theory here, all of the helpful little elves have set out North early this year because Santa has wonderful things in store for us all. … So that’s the story we have decided to go with, not that anyone will pay much attention once they bop off to watch Cytherea douse a vanity anyway. Just remember: We all know ’tis the season to be scary first, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
10/18/12	Our gang pretty much falls into the “live and let live” camp. As long as it takes place between consenting adults, and no one gets hurt in the process, we all feel fine about it. We can’t go so far as to say we honestly understand it all, but whatever else its form takes, sexuality has many, many faces. Summer Cummings, her friend Goldie, and our own Kristal Summers serve as fetching tour guides today, as we learn an important lesson: It takes all kinds of people to make a world.
10/12/12	Times change. Like many things we don’t tend to notice necessarily, because we live life every day, thus making it difficult to maintain objectivity regarding society in any reasonable “macro” sense. This week, however, both Maverick and Shayla have done their part to add perspective. Thankfully 247AdultStars chose Cate Harrington to provide the nudity and solo celebration rather than Mav, we should note. Shayla, of course, remains quite capable of handling those duties herself. As for our inimitable contribution, you will have to draw your own conclusions. Times change. And silence remains golden. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]
10/8/12	In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. At some later point government officials decided to create a national holiday celebrating “the day” he discovered, well, the Bahamas, technically. Poor Chris had more things to lament than historical inaccuracy, as it would turn out, though. Had he only sailed 520 years later, he could have met Julia Ann on her birthday. True, he would probably learn more about “spicy” than spice, per se, but he would never have been in such a hurry to sail back to see the Queen of Spain either. That might have worked out better for him. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
10/5/13	Two days ago marked the 25th anniversary of the release of possibly the best movie ever made, The Princess Bride. So there might be some debate on that “best ever” part, as we sort of forgot about it in our excitement over London Keyes and her Hero. … Then we forgot to put that Hero photo in London’s story, a fact we conveniently blame on our excitement looking forward to Tori Black today. It’s very complicated here. We’re going to rest for the weekend. Have fun storming the castle. … [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Tori Black]
10/3/12	Strange as it may seem to some people around here (not to name names, but hers rhymes with “We Minion”) not everyone celebrates the new fall season on network television. Let’s get real. There are books, museums, art galleries … and besides, the NFL started a month ago. We’re busy. As befitting her penchant, however, this unnamed person gives a compelling argument to pay attention to popular crime dramas via the critical assistance of London Keyes. (Don’t you wonder if London went to the Olympics last summer and felt redundant?) [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, London Keys Video]

Stars:Cate Harrington| Cytherea| Dee| Goldie| Heather Vandeven| Heather Vuur| Juli Ashton| Julia Ann| Kristal Summers| London Keys| Natalia Forrest| Samantha Ryan| Shayla LaVeaux| Summer Cummings| Tori Black

Year:2012

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