The "Bare" Minimum
I was supposed to write a story about stripping, both the good and the bad things about it. Not a problem! I just wrote a story about what it is like being a male porn star, and Lord knows I’m not a male porn star! This assignment would be a piece of cake! So I ate a piece of cake, and decided that if I were a stripper I’d just keep my clothes on (including my socks), read a book on the stage, and wait for the patrons to throw scads of money at me. [In case you did not figure it out from that slightly rambling introduction, D.Minion does not like cake. D.Minion likes icing!]
After Editor Lucky refused to print what I had written, I called my buddy Cytherea, who still occasionally dances at the Hustler Club in Las Vegas. SHE could help me with this assignment! [Interestingly, Cytherea does like cake. Although if you both order it for dessert, she will invariably eat off your plate and take hers home for later. This seemingly proves that some people can in fact have their cake and eat it too. … Rules do not apply the same way to Cytherea, hence these photographs of what looks to be a party at the Hustler Club featuring some guy wearing a weird mask. Why Cy thought these would be good accompaniments for a story about stripping and a video scene taken at a strip club might seem confusing to you, for example. You could ask her, but you probably would never understand the answer. You would, however, greatly enjoy just listening to her. Cytherea has that effect on people.]
While bowling with her league — a phone in one hand and a bowling ball in the other — Cy happily answered my questions. Amazingly, she told me that she was actually bowling better than usual! I guess that means that I’m a good luck charm! Or else she was so involved in talking with me that her bowling nerves just didn’t kick in as she tossed her bowling ball down the alley. [Or else it’s not really that difficult to get better than a “3” on each frame.]
Talking in “code” since she bowls in a league with civilians, Cytherea told me that there are some wonderful things about stripping! She adores the attention from the crowd! She loves dressing up in gorgeous costumes – which she quickly takes off! And the money comes in very handy! [A dancer I knew well once told me she just pictures a bunch of wallets sitting around the stage in order to get through her routine. My sage advice to the young lass consisted of advising her not to share that little tidbit of information with very may people.]
Also on the plus side, from time to time Cy gets to meet cool people she can actually have interesting conversations with. And she especially loves the ladies! The girls are fascinated by her “specialty” and by the end of the night Cy can’t get them off her. (That is a very good perk!) [Seems unfair, right? All men squirt, after all. … That said, if you hang out with Cy there will eventually be several of these young ladies keeping court, and they can’t all talk to her at once. Sometimes you just be happy with the cards you’re dealt.]