March 2005 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Kristal creates some Hard Evidence today, as it were, as we have an unusual story with a lot more words than pictures. Still, sometimes that’s how life turns out, and quite honestly it doesn’t take very many pictures of Kristal Summers to reach awe-inspiring status, truth be told. So we tell a few truths; we look at Kristal not meaning to show off, and we thankfully don’t have to warn people about many, many pictures of food establishments and restaurant menus. We March on …  [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, D.Minion]

Kristal even looks impressive like this. It's not fair.

A lot of times on a porn site you wouldn’t follow “We found our motel” with the concluding part of the sentence today, “and headed off to the Helium monument.” Right? Well “A long time ago …” (Someone should really write a book with that beginning.) D.Minion met Dee in Amarillo, Texas, and then they travelled across the Great American Desert to get to Los Angeles. At least the “Bonus” section has some interesting interaction, but, basically, this post can be summed up if we tell you what this thumbnail says. “You can’t run with the big dogs if you pee like a puppy.” We have a very odd office. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Isabella, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn, D.Minion, Risque News Insight]

Dee is not naked with this coyote, thankfully.

For some reason people get really afraid of daring punctuation. Maybe primary school English teachers sign some secret oath that mandates that they frighten all young students against anything that isn’t a period or a question mark. Teachers that teach the advancing students can then introduce the comma to the budding minds, but after that the door slams shut …. See? Whatever happened to the good ol’ ellipse? What’s wrong with ALL CAPS to stress a point? And God forbid, on this Easter weekend, that a parenthetical comment ever rear its confusing head. (If you don’t know what that means, you should just skip to the 180 pictures from Ninn Worx’ Pussy Kat now, by the way.) Well, today we flunk English 101. Hopefully we’ll have to stay after school, and hopefully the teacher will be wearing one of those really short skirts … (See what a GOOD ellipse can accomplish?) [FEATURED TAGS: Brittney Skye, Katsumi, Mia Smiles, Penny Flame, Tiffany Hopkins, Michael Ninn]

Mia Smiles. And she makes us smile too.

As it turns out we’ve fallen behind on the Night Calls stories and D.Minion goes a little Kindergarten Teacher on us when that happens. Remember the crossed arms and the tapping foot pose? Well, even though we’ve lived on this planet for more than four DECADES, that particular stance still stikes fear into our very soul. Being the regular manly men that we are, though, we immediately rolled over so D.Minion could scratch our cowardly bellies. And then we posted the next Night Calls story as though nothing ever went astray. The one thing about men is that at least we’re predictable … (Artistic men like Michael Ninn that want entire sites redesigned are even worse than kindergarten teachers, by the way. Free stuff from Sire Ninn very soon ….) [FEATURED TAGS: Night Calls, Juli Ashton, Tiffany Granath, Charmane Star, D.Minion]

Juli Ashton, naked and primping.

We’re celebrating members this weekend with some typical zaniness and some Maverick explanation. Hey, if you can’t help your friends out, how are you going to know how to treat your enemies? So have a little fun, check out Mav’s new free site, and rest up. We’ve got another D.Minion epic on tap for next week. My fingers hurt already … [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Georgia Adair, Maverick]

Georgia Adair and Dee helping Mav in their own unique way.
Porn Stars Available Any Time

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya! ‘Tis a fine day for all lads named Lucky on this most special of annual occasions. We were going to send everyone corned beef and cabbage, along with a case of green beer, but then we did the math, and D.Minion said we couldn’t. Dang. We are, however, offering a fine consolation prize with Juli Ashton and Dee, so we’re thinking you won’t mind making your own dinner. The excellent copywriters around here even came up with a very clever title. We call it Juli, Juli, Juli …  [FEATURED TAGS: Lola, Juli Ashton, Dee, May]

Getting “Bi” with a little help from some friends.

Since summer seems to be around the corner, we thought it appropriate to make it a completely “Summers” weekend, although you’ll have had to be a member for quite awhile to recognize that particular reference. If you miss it, no matter, as we’re certain you can recognize the latest entry from CafeAnais without any site research at all. Some things are just extremely self-explanatory … Anais would be one of those things. [FEATURED TAGS: Anais Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]

Proof not all women are created equal.

I’d forgotten how much I miss sharing a house with Kristal Summers. Even when she’s just helping around the kitchen, Kristal doesn’t mind putting forth that little extra effort to help set the table. Now you can see why it was very important to put the plates on a very high shelf. Also, you can probably see how environmentally conscious Kristal is, as she tries hard to avoid doing laundry too often, just for the benefit of the planet, of course. That Kristal … Now if Greenpeace had more spokesmodels like Kristal …  [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, D.Minion]

The ever-helpful Kristal Summers

You know, one of the hard things about writing is that very often things need to rhyme to flow smoothly off of the tongue, or brain, or whatever. So I’m trying to recount my adventures when I should have been at home watching the dogs and D.Minion’s parents, but instead I find myself (and my bummed-up leg) on a porn set observing the creation of a movie called Purple Skye … Yes. Truth is stranger than fiction. So, anyway, I have now found myself trying to think of a rhyme for “purple” … um … which ranks right up there with “orange” … Then I remarkably decide to just “show dem da money” — at which point all rhymes become superfluous. I really edit much better than I write, but at least we won’t have that “Clown Porn” picture haunting us at the top of the page anymore. One should give thanks for small favors.  [FEATURED TAGS: Brittney Skye, Amy Ried, Terri Summers, Dillan Lauren, Holly Morgan, Jenaveve Joli]

Look at this, you ... um ... kitty cat ...

Sorry for the little hiccups of late. We’ve been deep in negotiations (and modifications) for Mr. Ninn, and, well gee, sometimes time flies even when you’re not having loads of fun. At any rate, we did decide that we should try to posts our FINAL (we promise) report on the AEE, at least before it was time for the next one. So, bowing to the requests of too many emails, today you get D.Minion’s take on the Convention. It seems she’s getting jaded too. Or maybe she just doesn’t like being the “go-to girl” at these things. Alas. If you’re going to accept that sometimes life sucks, it makes perfect sense to hang around porn stars all of the time. Speaking of that, we’re off to the set to cover Ninn Worx again. (Didn’t we just do this trip?) See you in a week or so. We’ll bring you presents. [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo, AVN AWards, Juli Ashton, Tiffany Granath, Georgia Adair, Kristal Summers, Dee, Inari Vachs, Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Chasey Lain, Janine, Syren, Brittany Andrews, Katie Morgan, Monique Alexander, Mia Smiles, Jessica Drake, Sunset Thomas, Justine Joli, Lon, Maverick, D.Minion]

Self-Explanatory photo without naked women visible.