Filed Under: Jana Jordan

September 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

9/28/14	Cytherea has a birthday this weekend, and consequently we must celebrate in an appropriate fashion. Of course having been out with Cytherea on multiple occasions over the years, we can say that “appropriate fashion” leaves a lot of leeway for us. We stuck with the traditional beautiful naked shots, however, proving both that we appreciate Cytherea and she can scare us a little. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video]
9/24/14	Honestly we have no idea why an entire religious faith would have one special day dedicated to hurrying along one specific woman, but we try to be accepting of most beliefs around here. Consequently, in honor of our good buddy Lon, who happens to understand this religious faith, we humbly offer Rushing Hannah. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Jenna Jameson Video, Felicia Video, Cheyenne Silver]
9/22/14	A couple of us were up in San Francisco last week and happened to notice two concurrent events going on. Amidst the artwork and rebellion illustrated by the “Tattoo Expo” planners had also decided to put on the “Beerfest” celebration. … Yeah, what could possibly go wrong? … In our particular case today, neither Paola Rey, Celeste Star, nor Holly Morgan look in the least bit inebriated. One of them might have tattoos, but honestly we forgot to look. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, Paola Rey Video, Celeste Star Video, Holly Morgan Video, 247AdultStars.com]
9/17/14	Consider the sobriquet. While that was to be the original plan today, courtesy toward friends closed off that avenue of inspection. We considered a more subtle analysis of the word itself, seemingly a blend of sober and briquettes, bringing to mind an altogether unsatisfying BBQ without beer, but that seemed an approach to Georgia Jones and Jana Jordan too obtuse even for us. Suddenly D.Minion roared into the room shouting, “Hey! They have the last season of Bones on Netflix now!” … And at that point we simply decided to let people figure it out for themselves. Amidst all the glitz of this world, you often find the most basic searches for human happiness. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Georgia Jones Video, Faye Reagan, Michael Ninn]
9/12/14	According to a psychology text book a ChickaDee brought into the office today, “Some form of hunger, love, hate, fear, hope or ambition gives rise to every human emotion and every human thought.” … While we hate to disagree with any sacred tomes used in our institutions of higher education, this cannot be correct. Clearly they have forgotten sleepy as an attribute. We have other thoughts today too, substantially enhanced by the application of naked women to the arguments. Come to think of it, sexual tension should be on that list too, unless they think no one ever has sex unless they’re in love, of course. [STAR TAGS: Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
9/11/14	Somewhere in the neighborhood of 11,000 new citizens will be born in America today, and they will never know a world not under the enveloping threat of terrorism. We do what we can to continue our lives without being incapacitated by fear — the skill of cognizant ignorance being one many in the world consider the United States a champion. Kristal Summers helps us out again in a rare serious commentary from D.Minion. If you’d prefer to just have the short answer, we can give you that here: It’s sad that so many people will never know the feeling that came when flying was part of the fun of vacation. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers]
9/7/14	Presumably D.Minion’s love of cheerleaders spurs her to announce the opening weekend of the NFL season, although it could simply be her love of paychecks. Colorado natives Shayla and Kylie add to the celebration along with “transplant Bronco fan” Cytherea. Truth be told, the female fans at risqué may not actually even know if their team happens to be playing, but everybody like Peyton, so they figure it counts. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Gere, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Juli Ashton Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Nina Hartley Video, Taren Steele Video, Toni James Video]
9/4/14	As the 2014 NFL Season launches tonight, we have come up with a simple solution for this silly “Do we have to change the name of the Washington Redskins because some people find it offensive?” debate. Rather than get all bogged down in ever-evolving Political Correctness, D.Minion has theorized that they can simply leave the name alone and change the mascot to a potato. We have never seen even one offended potato running around with lobbyists, and every game program could feature a nice recipe, like roasting with garlic and rosemary. … See? Thinking outside the box. We do that — with the assistance of Michelle Maylene this time around. … Someone call Roger Goodell. [STAR TAGS: Michelle Maylene Video]
9/1/14	Much like parenting, you can never have favorites among your offspring. Also just like parenting, every manager has favorite clients, regardless of whether or not she or he ever admits it out loud. So as we close D.Minion’s final look at Georgia Adair’s final movie, we intend no implication of favoritism here. All clients are equal. Georgia was just a little more equal. … She became. She saw. She opted out of conquering. [STAR TAGS: Georgia Adair, Sue Diamond, Marlene, Victoria Sin, Michael Ninn]

Jana Jordan Bubblegum

My New Mama by Bubblegum To quote Steve Martin, I was born a poor black child. My early life was spent on a dusty no-name farm deep in the heart of Texas. I never knew my daddy, but Mama did her best to raise us up right. [Does anyone else remember the Travis Tritt remake […]

Stars:Jana Jordan

Location:Los Angeles

Setting:Movie Set

Technique:Editorial, Humorous, Professional

Our Jana Jordan Introduction

[A week or so ago, the gang published a birthday “effort” featuring Jana Jordan. Although a bit low on the technical score — getting an incorrect Brea, and all — they did bring up an important point that made the gift heartwarming after all. The list of women that risqué did not represent, but certainly would have, happens to be a remarkably short one. Jana Jordan would certainly be on that list, however. Given Michael’s current Jana-craze, and the post from a week ago, we decided to update the story of the first time I met Jana (and Bubblegum). The words haven’t changed much, but goodness how much video on the web has evolved since the dark ages of 2007. It could make a fellow feel old, did he not spend so much time with lively twenty-somethings. … -L]

The Giver Jordan

by X. Communicated

We’re going to have to skip a lot of relevant topics today, as if we didn’t we’d never finish before we ended up with a longer article than DM, Mav, or Lon have ever dreamed of creating. Besides, new pretty girls are always fun, and there’s no sense denying that we all hang around here because we’re honest enough to admit that.

May 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/29/14	In all probability Jassie will not be appearing out of the blue to give you a blow job today. She probably won’t appear out of the aquamarine or fuchsia either, so you might need a different coloring book all the way around. On the other hand, if one hangs with Jassie, one can never be quite sure what may happen. She’s an exceptional lass, that Jassie. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jassie Video, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]
5/26/14	Happy Birthday to Kylie, both sexy and wily. When she strips down naked, it makes us all smiley. … OK. So it’s not exactly The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but you have to agree that it’s a lot easier to read. Also, despite his literary prowess, Mr. Coleridge never had lesbian sex with Ashlyn Rae. Well, you know, he was a dude. … Kylie wins again! [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Rae Video]
5/23/14	Few people on the planet understand network television as well as our own D.Minion. This seems odd to us, because as a rule people do not tend to study things whose primary function seems to be one of causing irritation. Of course weave in the captivating beam of London Keyes, and even the ChickaDees cannot stay sad. Put London in a school uniform, and … well … we just give them all some private time. But we share … [STAR TAGS: London Keyes Video]
5/20/14	An ever-vigilant and thoughtful new member pointed out four missing large images in a post from clear back in 2006. Granted, Heather Vuur does not show any signs of ever becoming “old news” or anything — particularly around here — but we did want to show our appreciation for the effort taken to write in and point out the errors (quite politely, we should add). Obviously we could have simply fixed the four links on the photos, which we did — to cover ourselves whenever someone else goes back there — but then we got to thinking. … OK. So sometimes that can be scary, but sometimes it can also result is wonderful new larger renditions of the photos, along with typically stunning video of Jassie, Brooke, AND Heather Vuur this time. Fans pay attention. Everybody wins! [STAR TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Jassie Video, Brooke Banner Video, Michael Ninn]
5/18/14	Despite a significant amount of technical prowess in these offices, we have as yet been unable to figure out how to use Parental Lock to keep the DVR from filling up with unwatched episodes of “Too Cute” on Animal Planet. Of course D.Minion has her own ways … as some of learned painfully this week. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Chayse Manhattan Video, Misty Rain Video, Leena Video, Faye Taylor Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
5/12/14	Have you ever wondered why all the beautiful women do all the difficult — notice how we avoided the overly simple pun hard at this point — work around here? Well, it turns out D.Minion remains fairly sure that an overwhelming desire to please her pretty much explains it all. Would that this were only true, we would never again have to ask For Whom the Belles Toil. … (Yeah, that hurt just writing it down. … Sometimes we have no control. You should know that about us. … ) [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Georgia Adair Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Anais, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]
5/9/14	Everyone arrived at work today in a wonderful mood. Having each received text messages last evening, it seems we now all have a new favorite Green Bay Packer we have affectionately nicknamed “Monica” — according to our leader. After all, what else does the name “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix” make you think of? … And this strange view of the world pretty much explains all of our Adult Behavior perspectives today. … You learn to adapt; what can we say? [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux]
5/5/14	Many, many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, although according to a new report we heard, apparently the holiday tends to be a lot more popular than in America than in Mexico. If we had paid more attention we might have learned why that happens to be, but we can just take it on faith. It was on the television news. It has to be true. … All of that said, not many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo the way we chose to this year — with Mika Tan. Hey, we’ll drink cerveza and ruminate upon Mika. Sounds like a plan. … [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Lorraine Sisco]
5/2/14	Sometimes you meet someone, and the chemistry between the two of you almost feels electric. OK, so most of the time one of you feels attracted while the other feels repulsed, but magnetic fields can be sort of like electricity, so that should count for something. Still, should you find yourself on the “rejected” end of one of these interpersonal dynamics, do not despair. While sadness tends to be depressing, mirth can be quite fun. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Carli Banks Video, Alexis Love Video, Tiffany Sweet Video, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Michael Ninn]