Millennial Thoughts
by Nobody Special
A recent luncheon with a couple of 20-somethings motivated me to write a short Top Ten list of things I learned. It probably goes without saying — although after this conversation I’m not sure anything really falls into that category anymore — that this title refers to the Millennial people and not a period in time.
Things Millennials Think About Business
- I do not get paid enough to think while I am at work.
- If my supervisor does not specifically tell me to do something, I do not need to do it — unless I want to, and then I should get paid more.
- The universe requires me to stop thinking about work the second I leave the building.
- If I do think about work outside the office, my company is to blame, and I am underpaid.
- The time required to complete a task does not matter so long as I “am working” on it.
- If an internet search indicates that other people doing “my job” receive a higher average salary, I am underpaid.
- I do not understand what “average” means, nor do I care.
- If part of my job in this company happens to be a full-time job in another company, I am therefore doing multiple full-time jobs and should be paid accordingly.
- If I am working late one night doing extra work, I do not need to arrive on time the next day to do my regular work.
- There is always another easier and better paying job out there any time I want to go looking for it, so I do not need to appreciate this one.
- Money is the only way that I know if someone appreciates my efforts.
- I am not only allowed, but actually required, to determine how much effort my current salary warrants.
- If you ask me to take notes during a training session, either
- You have asked me to learn something above my pay grade, or
- You have overstepped your position because you should be willing to repeat the same instructions as many times as necessary until I grasp the concepts (or I get a raise).
- Anyone who criticizes my behavior, demeanor, or the quality of my performance has created an uncomfortable work environment and should be punished by Human Resources.
And #10 … My Personal Favorite (By Far):
If I do a poor job for $10/hour, someone will realize that if they paid me $20/hour I would do a much better job.
Sadly, I did not make any of those up. All I did was put them in some sort of order. As you probably guessed, I paid for lunch.