Filed Under: Juli Ashton

December 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/12

Who knew that by watching a highly anticipated (well, by some) football game you could be inundated with advertisements for a new television show on AMC featuring “Competitive Taxidermy” of all things? Who knew that taxidermy could be competitive? … Who knew they even still did taxidermy? We have some other thoughts on year’s end today, none of which feature dead animals, just in case you were curious. [FEATURED TAGS: Happy New Year!]

Things to Ponder
12/29/12

You may not have noticed, but if you put all the College Bowl Games together, you could have a heck of a party. You could wear Russel Athletics or New Era Pinstripes, if you knew what those were, maybe. You’d have Tostitos, Buffalo Wings, Idaho Potatoes, Chick-fil-A, Little Caesars Pizza, and even Beef ‘O’ Brady and Outback to eat. You could decorate the place with roses, sip orange juice while you get some sugar from your sweetie, and even stuff cotton in your ears if she started complaining that you were not fighting her hunger with Kraft sufficiently. You’d have wonderful things to talk about like insurance, or car care, wireless services, or taxes, mortgages, or Korean cars. You could even discuss what the heck scantily-clad women and beautiful race car drivers have to do with web domain registration. Best of all, you’d have a Bell Helicopter to escape if some folks started remembering the Alamo a bit too enthusiastically. … Fortunately, none of that had anything to do with even more Shayla today. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla — Does Not Care About College Bowl Games.
12/27/12

Shayla has a special day today well worthy of celebrating. Also in our occasionally not completely behind efforts to bring the really old pages up to modern standards, we will run across some original photos now and again. We weren’t horribly disorganized back in those days, but if someone had told us the sites would last this long, we would have done things differently. … It’s sort of like that old saying, “You know, if I’d have known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” … Except we still get Shayla naked. That helps a lot with most things. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Alexandra Silk, Missy]

Ride 'Em Cowgirl
12/25/12

We wish you a Merry Christmas. And if you do not happen to celebrate Christmas, well we wish you a merry day of the miscellaneous variety. We’re friendly that way. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

Ho Ho
12/24/12

Too often in life we lose old friends, whether that be to any of the Big Three options — Sex, Love, Money — or not. Of course “losing” implies a lot of stuff way too deep for discussion here, and sometimes you just want to dance around in a circle like some Charles M. Schultz character not yet burdened by anything really icky — like three dimensions. Say, for example, if you “lose old friends” but then they come back, were they really lost — or simply slapping you upside the face with preternatural insight? … Yeah. We don’t care either. … Basically Kylie makes everything better in our experience. Anything else, well that’s too deep for our pond. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland, Anais Video]

What Ho! … Ho-Ho! …
12/21/12

We could hardly deny that we have been guilty of perpetrating some fairly tortured logic in our quests to tie miscellaneous bits of our lives together so that we might present it for your viewing pleasure. Of course all of this pales in comparison with trying to explicate poetry from 1788. Fortunately, you can easily enjoy Cytherea — in cam show and still form — as well as Kelly Kline, without any iambic pentameter at all. They are women without meter, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Kelly Kline, Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Cytherea Lives! Woo-HOO!
12/18/12

We learned on some crime show the other night that a pig’s orgasm can last up to 30 minutes. Now we’re on enough weird Google Search lists somebody keeps compiled somewhere, so we chose not to really pursue the statement any further, but we did realize that if true this sort of adds a whole new dimension to the expression, “In a pig’s eye,” does it not? … Hey, you spend a few hours watching Dee do a DP and a fine Brit offer up Holiday greetings, and see how your brain feels. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton, May, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com, Michael Ninn]

Juli Ashton, Dee, & May
12/17/12

You have to be careful how much you really think about things, because you can wind up somewhere no one actually intended. Of course we have found that beer does a dandy job in relieving a befuddled state — or at least it seems to — but if you have to drive somewhere, consider ice cream in its place. Whatever the case, you may find simply looking at (or watching) Shayla LaVeaux, as well as Wendy Divine, might be the best approach this time around. Either that or you might need a lot of ice cream. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Maya Divine, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Capri Anderson Exclusive Video]

Wendy
12/12/12

Naturally we had to do an update at 12:12 on 12/12/12 because otherwise D.Minion would be very sad. Worse yet, then we couldn’t make it up to her for 100 years, by which point she’d be not only officially peeved, but also really, really old. Fortunately Mr. Ninn and Cytherea happen by to help us reach our desired goal, even if the precise timing might be a bit difficult to prove in court or anything. If it’s always 5:00 somewhere, then it stands to reason that it’s always 12:12 somewhere too, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Cassidey Video, Renee Perez Video, Brea Bennett Video, Nikki Kane Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Vicca, Shayla LaVeaux, Ashley Renee, Paisley Hunter, Payton Alexander, Ruby, Kortknee, Emanuelle, Jill Kelly, Michael Ninn]

Bride of Ninnenstein
12/10/12

In case any of you were thinking about moving into the middle of nowhere to be with Steve, he has some excellent news for you. Although the temperature outside when he woke up yesterday morning had only reached nine degrees, by mid day the thermometer had skyrocketed to a balmy ten on the Fahrenheit scale. … OR you could plan on meeting Kristal in Florida next time she visits. All in all, that might be warmer. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]

Nice Weather for Skimply Clothing
12/7/12

Most of you have probably barely been able to contain your excitement at the prospect of catching even a glimpse of Cytherea’s personal valet, MrT, in some photographs. Well, we can happily tell you that your wait is finally over! Woo-HOO! … Now we did have to surround those two or three important photos with a bunch more of Cytherea shaving and getting tattoos applied to make her scars less distracting on video, of course. But you can just ignore all those annoying porn star images and enjoy MrT — at least his hands and the back of his head. In case you were curious, Cy does always use waterproof temporary tattoos. Turns out that’s a good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Butterfles are Whee!
12/4/12

You probably noticed that we have all now officially reached the season where we can start thinking about the cool presents we want other people to give us for free again. True, retailers seem to be making “this time of year” fall earlier and earlier on the calendar, but once we hit December it seems fair for all of us to acknowledge it in general. Even if next year they start advertising Christmas right after the 4th of July, we will still look forward to the holiday offerings from Sam Phillips, actually. She has a unique way, that Sam. [FEATURED TAGS: Sam Phillips, Tasha Reign, Breanne Benson, Sophia Knight]

Not Sam Phillips
12/2/12

Lamentations abound today regarding the rapid demise of Flash becoming more and more apparent. Less bothersome to our leadership at least will be the reference to the public disintegration of a heretofore quite pompous organization in the National Football League. On the off chance that neither of these two topics hold any interest for you, we sneak in an announcement that might, and if that doesn’t work we have over 30 minutes of video that might give you a pleasant “mind space” in which to ruminate — or whatever. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Kylie Ireland, Cytherea Video, Michael Ninn]

Kylie, Dee, and Steve
Year:
Month:

October 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/12

You know what might be really fun tonight? Send someone else out to beg for tooth decay with the whiny ones while you stay home and think deeply political thoughts. … Well, Julia Ann and Samantha Ryan do drop by, and we did indeed provide the necessary political fodder, but you will have to decide for yourself how to proceed. That’s what the Democratic process is all about, right? Even if you decide not to be overly political today, you can feel good about stealing the candy later. After all, think how much you’ll be saving in dental bills. See? It’s all in how you look at it. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann Video, Samantha Ryan Video]

Julia and Samantha Performing Oral Examinations
10/30/12

Views vary widely regarding the topic of television in general, but it would be difficult to argue that whatever the shortcomings (or “evil” perhaps) a great many positive influences have sprung from the little box. Many a cultural wave has begun via some memorable line springing forth from a fictional character on TV. Despite this, dangers lurk, and we must remain vigilant in our filtering of the freely flowing electronic data. Case in point: On a recent rerun of 2 Broke Girls an overly jubilant protagonist exclaims (more than a few times), “Yeah, I have a tiny little dog, and I carry her everywhere with me. So what?” … Of all the wonderful lines in all the history of television, guess which one D.Minion has learned. Fortunately all of us have Shayla and Maverick to distract us today. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

gun case
10/23/12

Depending upon at what point along the time spectrum you happen to be visiting here, you may have found us in catch-up mode. According to popular theory here, all of the helpful little elves have set out North early this year because Santa has wonderful things in store for us all. … So that’s the story we have decided to go with, not that anyone will pay much attention once they bop off to watch Cytherea douse a vanity anyway. Just remember: We all know ’tis the season to be scary first, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea Sans Stirrups
10/18/12

Our gang pretty much falls into the “live and let live” camp. As long as it takes place between consenting adults, and no one gets hurt in the process, we all feel fine about it. We can’t go so far as to say we honestly understand it all, but whatever else its form takes, sexuality has many, many faces. Summer Cummings, her friend Goldie, and our own Kristal Summers serve as fetching tour guides today, as we learn an important lesson: It takes all kinds of people to make a world.

Kristal, Goldie, and Summer
10/12/12

Times change. Like many things we don’t tend to notice necessarily, because we live life every day, thus making it difficult to maintain objectivity regarding society in any reasonable “macro” sense. This week, however, both Maverick and Shayla have done their part to add perspective. Thankfully 247AdultStars chose Cate Harrington to provide the nudity and solo celebration rather than Mav, we should note. Shayla, of course, remains quite capable of handling those duties herself. As for our inimitable contribution, you will have to draw your own conclusions. Times change. And silence remains golden. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]

Shayla - in Stone Cold SEXY
10/8/12

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. At some later point government officials decided to create a national holiday celebrating “the day” he discovered, well, the Bahamas, technically. Poor Chris had more things to lament than historical inaccuracy, as it would turn out, though. Had he only sailed 520 years later, he could have met Julia Ann on her birthday. True, he would probably learn more about “spicy” than spice, per se, but he would never have been in such a hurry to sail back to see the Queen of Spain either. That might have worked out better for him. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

An Excellent Gift, if You Can Find It
10/5/13

Two days ago marked the 25th anniversary of the release of possibly the best movie ever made, The Princess Bride. So there might be some debate on that “best ever” part, as we sort of forgot about it in our excitement over London Keyes and her Hero. … Then we forgot to put that Hero photo in London’s story, a fact we conveniently blame on our excitement looking forward to Tori Black today. It’s very complicated here. We’re going to rest for the weekend. Have fun storming the castle. … [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Tori Black]

Tori Black
10/3/12

Strange as it may seem to some people around here (not to name names, but hers rhymes with “We Minion”) not everyone celebrates the new fall season on network television. Let’s get real. There are books, museums, art galleries … and besides, the NFL started a month ago. We’re busy. As befitting her penchant, however, this unnamed person gives a compelling argument to pay attention to popular crime dramas via the critical assistance of London Keyes. (Don’t you wonder if London went to the Olympics last summer and felt redundant?) [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, London Keys Video]

London’s Hero
Year:
Month:

Juli Ashton Suze Clues

A Juli Ashton Naming Convention

by Nobody Special

Tori Black[We’re picking this up en medias res because quite honestly D.Minion filled the entire first part of the “celebration” with naked pictures. As you likely know by now, we consider those inappropriate where eyes of any age could simply run across them, so we kind of skipped a lot to get here. We even had to borrow our “Shush” character from Erotic Catalogue, just to get this many photos displayed. D.Minion gets decisively weird about Juli; we do what we must. That said … ]

Obviously, photographs of Juli Ashton (of which we have thousands) might have been an excellent inclusion today, but as stated earlier, all we got was, “Juli B-Day! YAY!!!” Left to my own devices, one never knows where I might wander, and D.Minion should know this better than anyone. Fortunately a quick call to Suze Randall allowed us to at least put up some festive photos of Juli for her day — back from when her days included Suze. (I did promise the Randals that we would encourage you to visit their “Classics” site, so please do that. Juli fans will remember a lot of those women.)

juli ashton juli ashton juli ashton juli ashton juli ashton
more juli more juli more juli more juli more juli
yep ... still more juli yep ... still more juli yep ... still more juli yep ... still more juli yep ... still more juli

Then quite smoothly, although perhaps with very little reason at all, we evolve into Tori again.

Now, other than being obviously comfortable in a location with basically no decoration at all, the noteworthy part of this Tori set happens to be that these pictures all came in sequence. They came one after the other — in order. We adjusted the slide show speed to help convey the talent Tori demonstrates for posing ease, but having seen literally hundreds of these quick sets shot, I can assure you that she displays a distinctly uncommon skill.

[ … And as it turns out (which you could probably tell from the opening photograph) Tori was completely naked almost all the time, and partially naked for all of it. You know, doing these sorts of things for the Members’ Area turns out to be a lot less complicated. At any rate, for now we will leave Juli Ashton and Tori Black as we began with them today: en medias res.

What can we say? There’s no res for the trying not to be wicked either. … By the way, if you do happen to be a fan of porn stars throughout the heyday, you really should check out Suze’s Classics. Suze has wild talent, a charming disposition, and a completely dirty mind. Sounds like the perfect photographer to us. … ] Link to Suze

Location:
Setting:
Technique:

July 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

7/30/12

Maintaining our Risqué ne’er say intrepid reporter philosophy, our keen operatives managed to catch up with the Queen after she had parachuted into Olympic Stadium. Arriving with James Bond in time for the Opening Ceremonies. we can report the Queen “shaken, but not stirred” — just in case you were curious. … OK. So we made that up, we didn’t really see the Queen, and overall the word “intrepid” fits many more of us than it does not. Still, while the Queen might be interested in our discussion of homonyms, she might not appreciate the illustrations, primarily provided by Cytherea today. … On the other hand, London does have a fancy new Aquatics Centre, and our buddy Cy could bring a whole new level of interest to that particular place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Ann Harlow Video, MichaelNinn.com]

Cytherea Keen on the Queen
7/27/12

Hey! Did you know that America has a two-time Gold Medal fencing champion? Well, when she gets done with these Olympics, we’re going to try and get her to go spend some time at Steve’s house, because his chickens keep getting out. He could use one of those fencing experts for a few days. … Until then, of course, we will be diligently watching the event which always teaches us not only the wide range of bizarre sports that constitute Olympic events, but also demonstrates the distinct value of having a television set in the office. We will probably keep including various beautiful women displayed in various sexual situations too; that is, after all, what we do. Consequently for our “Opening Ceremonies” we begin with Kristal Summers and An Analysis of MILF Relativity. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Deauxma Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

MILF Relativity
7/24/12

Gauging from the national weather service, should one wish to spend some time in Dallas these days, one would be well advised to do so via the Dallas XXX variety courtesy of Adam & Eve. D.Minion offers up her Day Two Tribute this time around, and all of the naked photos of Bobbi Starr and Alexis Ford might even get you to ignore all ones of the puppy. She was a cute little thing, though; we’ll have to give her that — the dog, we mean. Bobbi and Alexis passed “cute” a long time ago. So far we have yet to see a canine that falls into the “sexy as hell” category, and we’re just fine with that actually. [FEATURED TAGS: Bobbi Starr Exclusive Video, Alexis Ford, AdamAndEve.com]

Bobbi Starr
7/21/12

D.Minion has taken her annual “Girls’ Weekend Away” again, thus leaving no one around to keep the company rudder from taking us, well, who knows where? While we do happen to be smart enough not to point out that a “weekend” for most people does not in fact equal five full days, we somehow always forget all the really important things D.Minion leaves behind in her copious notes. Honestly, as far as any of us can remember, not one single person has ever read even one of those notes, and yet DM persists in their creation time and time again. Since we do realize that only members will be able to see what chaos we have wrought this time around, we did decide to pass along the same Secret to Happiness in Life that we always provide for D.Minion: Lowered Expectations. … See? Now you can go to bed content, even if you’re not a Member. Of course to be Really Happy you should be, but that will be a topic for another day. Right now we’re not expecting much. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Keri Windsor Video, Charlie Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com]

Keri Windsor and Julia Ann
7/16/12

Even adult industry members can do good deeds and care about culture and society in general. … Gosh. Who knew, right? … Well, we’re still in the process of sorting the massive amounts of Shayla LaVeaux we acquired last week, along with the smaller amount, but equally as fun, “data” on Cytherea, but D.Minion has already picked out her most ominous photograph “since forever” (according to her). While we talk about (and hopefully promote) a wonderful cause on tap in the next couple of weeks we will leave to you the task of figuring out our perhaps not quite as wonderful — but still quite hysterical — pun. You see, while encouraging the protection of domestic animals and their rescue shelters we decided to illustrate with moving pictures of a slang expression for cat. We’re clever that way. [FEATURED TAGS:  Julia Ann Video, Brea Bennett Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Hot Topic
7/15/12

The alleged leaders have returned from the latest “content acquisition vacation” which historically has proven to be an optimum collection of new material to roll out over the next few months: We ended up with more than we thought we would, but a little less than we had hoped for. While we sit down and try to bring some sense of organization to the thousands of files we thought it best to return with an easy volley. When you have Kristal Summers and Shayla LaVeaux to help pass the time, life seems pretty good as it turns out — even if it can be confusing. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Wrestling with Kristal’s Life
7/9/12

Come to find out, when your “B-Cup” runneth over in D.Minion’s office it has nothing to do with your bra size. Rather than spend too much time on the dangerous road that is DM’s mind, though, we decided to offer up a dandy gift in the persons of Kristal Summers and Lola — interestingly in Vegas at the time of this shoot. You see, the leaders head out today, also en route to Las Vegas and what they assure the rest of us will be “nothing but work” for the week. Of course we don’t believe them, but we do enjoy Kristal and Lola gifts — particularly when enhanced by Shayla and Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Lola Video, Juli Ashton Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee]

The Dee Drop In
7/4/12

All of us have become quite familiar with scope of accomplishments over our lives. Those possessing a bit of the wisdom that comes with age — mental or literal — have learned to celebrate both major and minor perspectives in fact. Given our place in the digital entertainment environment, we decided that putting a distinctly risqué slant (as it were) on the more traditional celebrations of Independence on this Day would be just the thing to help situations heat up in the afternoon before exploding at night. … If you got more than Bar-B-Que and Fireworks out of that allusion, then you understand our aims completely. Think Labia when you consider both Major and Minor. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Helping the Celebration
7/1/12

Just a little bit of thought would seem to support the theory that not very many posts on an adult web site end with a prayer, but around here we have learned one of life’s most important lessons — if not the most important: Play the hand you’re dealt. … With that in mind, you should probably be aware that much of today’s discussion centers around Kristal Summers’ delightful derrière, so the religious overtones are slight. … Well, come to think of it, a great many people, when viewing Kristal’s butt for the first time, often seem to exclaim, “Oh, dear God … .” [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]

This butt. Something else too.
Year:
Month: