Filed Under: Julia Ann

January 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/13

Don’t you just hate it when two roads diverge in the yellow woods, and come to find out you’ve been in the redwoods this whole time? Then when you find out that all the pretty girls were in those yellow woods, well, it can make you really sad. On the upside, we always have hope for the next time, just as soon as we figure out where we should be wandering. That’s the trouble with the Internet: It created too many forests. [STAR TAGS: Lexi Diamond, Zarena Summers Video, Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux]

A Lexi in a Different Forest
1/28/13

If you work in Information Technology (IT) you probably have compiled your own list of things you really do not want to hear from people in your company. We feel safe in assuming that, “Hey, how do I get chocolate out of my keyboard?” to be right up there with the icky ones. … It seems that D.Minion has discovered something called “Choco Tacos” recently, though, and she approaches their use with her usual confident naiveté. Sometimes that works out better for her than others as you will with see with the soon to be classic game, Name That Strip Club Tune. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea]

Whistle A Happy Tune
1/23/13

As it turned out, not everyone did in fact get to go to the AEE this year, as one of those boring (but well paying) “other” kinds of clients required attention. Consequently those of us that did attend will need to explain all the wildly entertaining things they missed this time around — and we get to do it for an entire year. (Woo-HOO!) … So … the group set ground on a tour of this oft-charted desert isle … and then a whole bunch of stuff happened that we’ll get to later. For now, just understand that we had a million phones, a billion lights, and many motor cars to go with a skipper, at least a couple millionaires (but no wives), one professor, many, many movie stars — and likely at least a few first matings going on.  [STAR TAGS: AEE 2013, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]

Shayla Commenting on 1994
1/14/13

Since for some reason we all find ourselves heading out to the parade of porn stars in Las Vegas this year, we thought we should leave you for a week or so with the fine thoughts and images of Lon and Kylie. Come to find out, once people discover that Kristal Summers will be riding with us to the AEE, suddenly everyone sees a critical need for their attendance. When we take the 7-hour drive with Maverick, we don’t have nearly so many volunteers. Go figure. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2012, Jessica Drake, Sunset Thomas, Julia Ann, Kaylani Lei, Alektra Blue, Sunny Leone, Kristina Rose, Lexi Belle, Misty Stone, Skin Diamond]

Tori Black and Lon. Peas in a Pod. Possibly.
1/12/13

Actually naming an adult movie “Naked” would be like choosing “Food” as the name for a cookbook. Fortunately the wise folks at Adam & Eve decided not to follow the “working title” recommendation, choosing Intimate Encounters 3 as the official release name. Granted, once people start putting numbers after a title it does tend to diminish the program as unique unto itself, but with D.Minion on set for Day One, we can be absolutely sure of one thing: We will definitely get unique. [STAR TAGS: Jeanie Marie Sullivan, Misty Stone Exclusive Video, Ashlynne Leigh Exclusive Video, Marie McCray]

Not all of the 249 photos from this day feature puppies, just so you know.
1/9/13

Anyone can cover a porn convention and come up with fascinating insights and (even more easily) photographs of beautiful women. But only truly exceptional folks can cover a porn convention before it even happens — as Steve has done today. Granted, technically this all refers to the 2012 convention, but that’s a minor detail. Porn stars. Real Dolls. And Lon. … What else does one need in order to provide concupiscent enlightenment? (OK. So you could need a dictionary. Maybe.) [STAR TAGS: AEE 2012, Cytherea, Jessica Drake Exclusive Video, Kayden Kross, Jesse Jane, Stoya, Brooklyn Lee, Bree Olsen, Julia Ann, Belladonna, Tasha Reign, Stormy Daniels, Sophie Dee, Ron Jeremy]

Real Doll & Lon. Not Pictured: Local Police
1/5/13

Suppose you had a friend that justified trying to put a Hello Kitty toaster and a giant troll doll in her carry-on luggage by explaining that any TSA agent that found them in her checked baggage might be tempted to steal them? And suppose this same friend spent her free time watching her favorite types of adult movie scenes, these being either double penetrations or solo female? … Well in that case another friend that spent her first few minutes in a new location looking for fun places to masturbate might seem sort of normal, right? Life is simply a matter of perspective with D.Minion and Shayla around. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

On Innovation and Plumbing with Shayla
1/1/13

We could talk about how simply postponing a decision for two months does not “avoid” a cliff nearly so much as “postpone” it. Or we could talk about how the “last minute” congressional compromise sure looks a heck of a lot like the exact same solution they had on the table a couple of weeks ago. … But why would we do that when we could welcome 2013 with Dee’s 4-Way Lesbian Dilemma instead? Clever beings that we are, we decided that we would not. [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton Video, Rayveness Video, Charlie Video, Ashlynn Leigh, Marie McCray, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Watching Politics and Sausage-Making
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October 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/12

You know what might be really fun tonight? Send someone else out to beg for tooth decay with the whiny ones while you stay home and think deeply political thoughts. … Well, Julia Ann and Samantha Ryan do drop by, and we did indeed provide the necessary political fodder, but you will have to decide for yourself how to proceed. That’s what the Democratic process is all about, right? Even if you decide not to be overly political today, you can feel good about stealing the candy later. After all, think how much you’ll be saving in dental bills. See? It’s all in how you look at it. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann Video, Samantha Ryan Video]

Julia and Samantha Performing Oral Examinations
10/30/12

Views vary widely regarding the topic of television in general, but it would be difficult to argue that whatever the shortcomings (or “evil” perhaps) a great many positive influences have sprung from the little box. Many a cultural wave has begun via some memorable line springing forth from a fictional character on TV. Despite this, dangers lurk, and we must remain vigilant in our filtering of the freely flowing electronic data. Case in point: On a recent rerun of 2 Broke Girls an overly jubilant protagonist exclaims (more than a few times), “Yeah, I have a tiny little dog, and I carry her everywhere with me. So what?” … Of all the wonderful lines in all the history of television, guess which one D.Minion has learned. Fortunately all of us have Shayla and Maverick to distract us today. [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

gun case
10/23/12

Depending upon at what point along the time spectrum you happen to be visiting here, you may have found us in catch-up mode. According to popular theory here, all of the helpful little elves have set out North early this year because Santa has wonderful things in store for us all. … So that’s the story we have decided to go with, not that anyone will pay much attention once they bop off to watch Cytherea douse a vanity anyway. Just remember: We all know ’tis the season to be scary first, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea Sans Stirrups
10/18/12

Our gang pretty much falls into the “live and let live” camp. As long as it takes place between consenting adults, and no one gets hurt in the process, we all feel fine about it. We can’t go so far as to say we honestly understand it all, but whatever else its form takes, sexuality has many, many faces. Summer Cummings, her friend Goldie, and our own Kristal Summers serve as fetching tour guides today, as we learn an important lesson: It takes all kinds of people to make a world.

Kristal, Goldie, and Summer
10/12/12

Times change. Like many things we don’t tend to notice necessarily, because we live life every day, thus making it difficult to maintain objectivity regarding society in any reasonable “macro” sense. This week, however, both Maverick and Shayla have done their part to add perspective. Thankfully 247AdultStars chose Cate Harrington to provide the nudity and solo celebration rather than Mav, we should note. Shayla, of course, remains quite capable of handling those duties herself. As for our inimitable contribution, you will have to draw your own conclusions. Times change. And silence remains golden. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]

Shayla - in Stone Cold SEXY
10/8/12

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. At some later point government officials decided to create a national holiday celebrating “the day” he discovered, well, the Bahamas, technically. Poor Chris had more things to lament than historical inaccuracy, as it would turn out, though. Had he only sailed 520 years later, he could have met Julia Ann on her birthday. True, he would probably learn more about “spicy” than spice, per se, but he would never have been in such a hurry to sail back to see the Queen of Spain either. That might have worked out better for him. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

An Excellent Gift, if You Can Find It
10/5/13

Two days ago marked the 25th anniversary of the release of possibly the best movie ever made, The Princess Bride. So there might be some debate on that “best ever” part, as we sort of forgot about it in our excitement over London Keyes and her Hero. … Then we forgot to put that Hero photo in London’s story, a fact we conveniently blame on our excitement looking forward to Tori Black today. It’s very complicated here. We’re going to rest for the weekend. Have fun storming the castle. … [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Tori Black]

Tori Black
10/3/12

Strange as it may seem to some people around here (not to name names, but hers rhymes with “We Minion”) not everyone celebrates the new fall season on network television. Let’s get real. There are books, museums, art galleries … and besides, the NFL started a month ago. We’re busy. As befitting her penchant, however, this unnamed person gives a compelling argument to pay attention to popular crime dramas via the critical assistance of London Keyes. (Don’t you wonder if London went to the Olympics last summer and felt redundant?) [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, London Keys Video]

London’s Hero
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August 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

8/31/12

All of us get used to a certain amount of unfairness in life, otherwise we could never watch young people eat like it will be their last meal without slapping them every time they picked up a napkin. A half dozen Krispy Kremes, you say? You’d like a double bacon cheeseburger with extra-large fries, and yet you’ll remain annoyingly thin? … SLAP! … Of course unfairness in life does not limit itself to caloric intake, but it always seems to surprise us when it comes from family. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Kristal Summers and some dude. But we’re not bitter or anything.
8/26/12

Mysteries of the concept of “Lost and Found” bear fruit today, while fully-ripened friends, Jana Cova and Isabella bare … well, other things. Of course certain of their parts bear a distinct resemblance, when bare, to certain fruits, so that could possibly tie this all together in a (freshness) pinch. Basically we have decided to simply follow ancient advice: Be fruitful and multiply, or at least practice the multiplying part. (OK. So these are both women, obviously, and the whole multiplying part really won’t work no matter how hard they try, but how far does one really need to take a metaphor on an adult site, really?) [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Cova Video, Isabella Video]

Isabella & Jana: Blended Beauties
8/22/12

Generally when someone talks about a thing being “rock hard” in this business, odds would be good that they do not refer to actual rocks — you know, really solid chunks of the earth, broken off into pieces suitable for throwing at someone you catch using their “rock hard” part in an inappropriate manner. … In our case, however, sometimes we really do happen to be talking about rocks, in this case with petroglyphs displayed on them. Of course in this particular circumstance we utilize the liquid talents of Cytherea to demonstrate our solid reasoning, so we’re reasonably certain not to get fired because of the effort. We will stop and send you off to your adventures today before we blow it by trying to extend a metaphor too far, but just so you know: A cigar is never just a cigar in this place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

All in All, Cytherea is Much Prettier
8/18/12

Some things in life we still do not understand. One of the byproducts of the Olympic coverage on television — at least in Southern California — included a massive run of new commercials for Honda. Now we admit that all of us over a certain young age have heard commercials featuring sound tracks that made us just a little sad. Most of us in this office, for example, were just getting used to Steppenwolf hocking insurance when the new Honda advertisements hit the air. As near as we can tell, no one told any of the Honda executives what Judas Priest stood for back in the day. But at least they were a British band, so that maybe counts for something during the London Olympics. On a completely unrelated note of confusion, Kristal Summers opens for a Pearl of a Shayla LaVeaux post with another round of “Wrestling Boys” today. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

He's Got Another Thing Coming
8/13/12

Except for the fact that everyone now has to start getting out of bed “early” again, the risqué commune offices have quite the celebration going on — interestingly beginning immediately after the Closing Ceremonies concluded. Clearly not everyone shares the feelings of universal fellowship that watching highly dedicated and gifted individuals either succeed or fail spectacularly can bring. All in all, none of us mind that when we screw up in a really major fashion somewhat fewer than 4 billion people drop by to share in the experience. None of us mind Maverick’s confusion on which celebratory event he has Natalia Forrest representing either. By the way, if 4 billion of you do want to join and watch her, we would be fine with that. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford, Brooklyn Lee, Missy Martinez Video, Zoey Holloway Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars]

Natalia. Closing. Opening. Whatever.
8/10/12

Although we did not know it until learning a bit of “Brit” over these Olympics, apparently we regularly strive to avoid things going sixes and sevens at risqué. Also we have remembered that we need to tell the new Photoshop boss that despite what D.Minion may assert, there is in fact such a thing as too many puppy pictures. On the upside, DM and her ChickaDees took over 200 photos NOT of small domestic animals on the Dallas XXX, Day Three set. You may well find those more interesting. [FEATURED TAGS: Brooklyn Lee Exclusive Video, Bobbi Starr, Alexis Ford]

Dang, have we been there.
8/6/12

The Brits had quite a resurgence in the Olympic games over the weekend, leading in our case to a bevy of “In your FACE, DM!” sorts of emails traveling across the ocean in this direction. While as a group we obviously enjoy a fine, good-natured competitive ribbing amongst ourselves, we Americans really had to admire how polite the British have turned out to be. Maybe you have not noticed, but instead of their own national anthem, every time a British citizen wins a gold medal they insist upon listening to a heart-warming rendition of My Country ’Tis of Thee. You know, maybe they have forgiven us for that whole Revolutionary War thing. … Toward a similar end, Inari Vachs and Cytherea help us with an other-parts-warming exhibition today. God Save the Queens. [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs, Cytherea]

Just the Inari part of our warming up exercises.
8/4/12

Most of us have probably heard New Jersey referred to as “The Garden State” — although if you have only flown in and out of there, or seen the state on television, you might have trouble understanding how in the world they ever came up with that motto, seeing as how most people do not associate a peaceful communing with nature and New Jersey. Regardless, as it turns out, England has a Garden State too, and Maverick introduces us to one of its finest natural resources today. Then we throw in a bit of “Garden” a la Michael Ninn, simply as a helpful counterpoint. We will tell you this much from the outset, however: We don’t exactly get “peaceful” out of these either. “Pieceful” perhaps …. [FEATURED TAGS: Tori Black, Rayveness Video, Anais Video, Crystal Coxxx, 247AdultStars.com, Michael Ninn]

Tori Black. Also “Pieceful” …
8/2/12

Never having seen a water polo match in her life, D.Minion and her “ChickaDees” nevertheless spent a significant part of today watching a contest between the U.S. and the U.K., happily shouting, “In your FACE, Mav!” every time the Americans scored. While this may not say much for sportsmanship here in the office, it does say a bit regarding loyalty. For example, we welcome in a new (typically unnamed) Team Risqué member today, while noting the fine Pearls of Wisdom provided by Shayla LaVeaux. … If nothing else we do remain a loyal group, as D.Minion’s Minions still call themselves ChickaDees even though Dee has been retired going on six years now. Our new fellow has much to look forward to — or maybe much to fear. One can never tell. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Julia Ann]

See how wise the Pearls are?
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July 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

7/30/12

Maintaining our Risqué ne’er say intrepid reporter philosophy, our keen operatives managed to catch up with the Queen after she had parachuted into Olympic Stadium. Arriving with James Bond in time for the Opening Ceremonies. we can report the Queen “shaken, but not stirred” — just in case you were curious. … OK. So we made that up, we didn’t really see the Queen, and overall the word “intrepid” fits many more of us than it does not. Still, while the Queen might be interested in our discussion of homonyms, she might not appreciate the illustrations, primarily provided by Cytherea today. … On the other hand, London does have a fancy new Aquatics Centre, and our buddy Cy could bring a whole new level of interest to that particular place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Ann Harlow Video, MichaelNinn.com]

Cytherea Keen on the Queen
7/27/12

Hey! Did you know that America has a two-time Gold Medal fencing champion? Well, when she gets done with these Olympics, we’re going to try and get her to go spend some time at Steve’s house, because his chickens keep getting out. He could use one of those fencing experts for a few days. … Until then, of course, we will be diligently watching the event which always teaches us not only the wide range of bizarre sports that constitute Olympic events, but also demonstrates the distinct value of having a television set in the office. We will probably keep including various beautiful women displayed in various sexual situations too; that is, after all, what we do. Consequently for our “Opening Ceremonies” we begin with Kristal Summers and An Analysis of MILF Relativity. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Deauxma Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

MILF Relativity
7/24/12

Gauging from the national weather service, should one wish to spend some time in Dallas these days, one would be well advised to do so via the Dallas XXX variety courtesy of Adam & Eve. D.Minion offers up her Day Two Tribute this time around, and all of the naked photos of Bobbi Starr and Alexis Ford might even get you to ignore all ones of the puppy. She was a cute little thing, though; we’ll have to give her that — the dog, we mean. Bobbi and Alexis passed “cute” a long time ago. So far we have yet to see a canine that falls into the “sexy as hell” category, and we’re just fine with that actually. [FEATURED TAGS: Bobbi Starr Exclusive Video, Alexis Ford, AdamAndEve.com]

Bobbi Starr
7/21/12

D.Minion has taken her annual “Girls’ Weekend Away” again, thus leaving no one around to keep the company rudder from taking us, well, who knows where? While we do happen to be smart enough not to point out that a “weekend” for most people does not in fact equal five full days, we somehow always forget all the really important things D.Minion leaves behind in her copious notes. Honestly, as far as any of us can remember, not one single person has ever read even one of those notes, and yet DM persists in their creation time and time again. Since we do realize that only members will be able to see what chaos we have wrought this time around, we did decide to pass along the same Secret to Happiness in Life that we always provide for D.Minion: Lowered Expectations. … See? Now you can go to bed content, even if you’re not a Member. Of course to be Really Happy you should be, but that will be a topic for another day. Right now we’re not expecting much. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Keri Windsor Video, Charlie Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com]

Keri Windsor and Julia Ann
7/16/12

Even adult industry members can do good deeds and care about culture and society in general. … Gosh. Who knew, right? … Well, we’re still in the process of sorting the massive amounts of Shayla LaVeaux we acquired last week, along with the smaller amount, but equally as fun, “data” on Cytherea, but D.Minion has already picked out her most ominous photograph “since forever” (according to her). While we talk about (and hopefully promote) a wonderful cause on tap in the next couple of weeks we will leave to you the task of figuring out our perhaps not quite as wonderful — but still quite hysterical — pun. You see, while encouraging the protection of domestic animals and their rescue shelters we decided to illustrate with moving pictures of a slang expression for cat. We’re clever that way. [FEATURED TAGS:  Julia Ann Video, Brea Bennett Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Hot Topic
7/15/12

The alleged leaders have returned from the latest “content acquisition vacation” which historically has proven to be an optimum collection of new material to roll out over the next few months: We ended up with more than we thought we would, but a little less than we had hoped for. While we sit down and try to bring some sense of organization to the thousands of files we thought it best to return with an easy volley. When you have Kristal Summers and Shayla LaVeaux to help pass the time, life seems pretty good as it turns out — even if it can be confusing. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Wrestling with Kristal’s Life
7/9/12

Come to find out, when your “B-Cup” runneth over in D.Minion’s office it has nothing to do with your bra size. Rather than spend too much time on the dangerous road that is DM’s mind, though, we decided to offer up a dandy gift in the persons of Kristal Summers and Lola — interestingly in Vegas at the time of this shoot. You see, the leaders head out today, also en route to Las Vegas and what they assure the rest of us will be “nothing but work” for the week. Of course we don’t believe them, but we do enjoy Kristal and Lola gifts — particularly when enhanced by Shayla and Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Lola Video, Juli Ashton Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee]

The Dee Drop In
7/4/12

All of us have become quite familiar with scope of accomplishments over our lives. Those possessing a bit of the wisdom that comes with age — mental or literal — have learned to celebrate both major and minor perspectives in fact. Given our place in the digital entertainment environment, we decided that putting a distinctly risqué slant (as it were) on the more traditional celebrations of Independence on this Day would be just the thing to help situations heat up in the afternoon before exploding at night. … If you got more than Bar-B-Que and Fireworks out of that allusion, then you understand our aims completely. Think Labia when you consider both Major and Minor. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Helping the Celebration
7/1/12

Just a little bit of thought would seem to support the theory that not very many posts on an adult web site end with a prayer, but around here we have learned one of life’s most important lessons — if not the most important: Play the hand you’re dealt. … With that in mind, you should probably be aware that much of today’s discussion centers around Kristal Summers’ delightful derrière, so the religious overtones are slight. … Well, come to think of it, a great many people, when viewing Kristal’s butt for the first time, often seem to exclaim, “Oh, dear God … .” [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]

This butt. Something else too.
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