Ring That Belle
by Nobody Special
It takes all kinds to make a world. Seriously, it does not take a great deal of scientific knowledge to understand that if all people were attracted to the same woman, the population would die out pretty darn quickly. Also, this woman would always be very, very tired.
If all people were attracted to the same man, our history would be even shorter. Think about it: At least a few of the men attracted to the man could beat up all the women attracted to the man, so just gaining access to the possibility of procreation would be quite difficult. Also, this man would be hiding all the time, because faced with an almost certain losing proposition, that seems to be the default male response to a situation.
Having lived inside the Penthouse Pet world for a couple of years now, we feel comfortable in the opinion that no “title” in adult entertainment can be more polarizing than Pet of the Year. Other than perhaps Heather Vandeven/Vuur back in 2007, as soon as the magazine announces the winner, lines start getting drawn — loudly — between two opposing camps.
- Wow! What an excellent choice. She’s perfect! … and …
- What?! Why her? She’s not pretty/hot enough. [This other possible choice] would have been a lot better. [The winner] must have blown somebody.
Personal taste aside, we can tell you a bit of inside information, having lived in both the bunny and the turtle worlds now. It would not seem outrageous to think that sexual favors could have played a part in some monthly or yearly award selections, a great many decades ago. But in the most recent 30 years, more or less, to which the boss here can personally attest, we cannot verify even one instance of “do this and we’ll make you that” sort of sweaty quid pro quo. Hef, and obviously the Guccione clan, had personal favorites, as we all do. But think about this logically. They were surrounded by the most beautiful women in the world — at least in the group willing to pose naked — all the time. Every day. Every single day.