December 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Who knew that by watching a highly anticipated (well, by some) football game you could be inundated with advertisements for a new television show on AMC featuring “Competitive Taxidermy” of all things? Who knew that taxidermy could be competitive? … Who knew they even still did taxidermy? We have some other thoughts on year’s end today, none of which feature dead animals, just in case you were curious. [FEATURED TAGS: Happy New Year!]

Things to Ponder

You may not have noticed, but if you put all the College Bowl Games together, you could have a heck of a party. You could wear Russel Athletics or New Era Pinstripes, if you knew what those were, maybe. You’d have Tostitos, Buffalo Wings, Idaho Potatoes, Chick-fil-A, Little Caesars Pizza, and even Beef ‘O’ Brady and Outback to eat. You could decorate the place with roses, sip orange juice while you get some sugar from your sweetie, and even stuff cotton in your ears if she started complaining that you were not fighting her hunger with Kraft sufficiently. You’d have wonderful things to talk about like insurance, or car care, wireless services, or taxes, mortgages, or Korean cars. You could even discuss what the heck scantily-clad women and beautiful race car drivers have to do with web domain registration. Best of all, you’d have a Bell Helicopter to escape if some folks started remembering the Alamo a bit too enthusiastically. … Fortunately, none of that had anything to do with even more Shayla today. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla — Does Not Care About College Bowl Games.

Shayla has a special day today well worthy of celebrating. Also in our occasionally not completely behind efforts to bring the really old pages up to modern standards, we will run across some original photos now and again. We weren’t horribly disorganized back in those days, but if someone had told us the sites would last this long, we would have done things differently. … It’s sort of like that old saying, “You know, if I’d have known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” … Except we still get Shayla naked. That helps a lot with most things. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Alexandra Silk, Missy]

Ride 'Em Cowgirl

We wish you a Merry Christmas. And if you do not happen to celebrate Christmas, well we wish you a merry day of the miscellaneous variety. We’re friendly that way. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

Ho Ho

Too often in life we lose old friends, whether that be to any of the Big Three options — Sex, Love, Money — or not. Of course “losing” implies a lot of stuff way too deep for discussion here, and sometimes you just want to dance around in a circle like some Charles M. Schultz character not yet burdened by anything really icky — like three dimensions. Say, for example, if you “lose old friends” but then they come back, were they really lost — or simply slapping you upside the face with preternatural insight? … Yeah. We don’t care either. … Basically Kylie makes everything better in our experience. Anything else, well that’s too deep for our pond. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland, Anais Video]

What Ho! … Ho-Ho! …

We could hardly deny that we have been guilty of perpetrating some fairly tortured logic in our quests to tie miscellaneous bits of our lives together so that we might present it for your viewing pleasure. Of course all of this pales in comparison with trying to explicate poetry from 1788. Fortunately, you can easily enjoy Cytherea — in cam show and still form — as well as Kelly Kline, without any iambic pentameter at all. They are women without meter, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Kelly Kline, Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Cytherea Lives! Woo-HOO!

We learned on some crime show the other night that a pig’s orgasm can last up to 30 minutes. Now we’re on enough weird Google Search lists somebody keeps compiled somewhere, so we chose not to really pursue the statement any further, but we did realize that if true this sort of adds a whole new dimension to the expression, “In a pig’s eye,” does it not? … Hey, you spend a few hours watching Dee do a DP and a fine Brit offer up Holiday greetings, and see how your brain feels. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Juli Ashton, May, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video,, Michael Ninn]

Juli Ashton, Dee, & May

You have to be careful how much you really think about things, because you can wind up somewhere no one actually intended. Of course we have found that beer does a dandy job in relieving a befuddled state — or at least it seems to — but if you have to drive somewhere, consider ice cream in its place. Whatever the case, you may find simply looking at (or watching) Shayla LaVeaux, as well as Wendy Divine, might be the best approach this time around. Either that or you might need a lot of ice cream. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Maya Divine, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Capri Anderson Exclusive Video]


Naturally we had to do an update at 12:12 on 12/12/12 because otherwise D.Minion would be very sad. Worse yet, then we couldn’t make it up to her for 100 years, by which point she’d be not only officially peeved, but also really, really old. Fortunately Mr. Ninn and Cytherea happen by to help us reach our desired goal, even if the precise timing might be a bit difficult to prove in court or anything. If it’s always 5:00 somewhere, then it stands to reason that it’s always 12:12 somewhere too, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Cassidey Video, Renee Perez Video, Brea Bennett Video, Nikki Kane Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Vicca, Shayla LaVeaux, Ashley Renee, Paisley Hunter, Payton Alexander, Ruby, Kortknee, Emanuelle, Jill Kelly, Michael Ninn]

Bride of Ninnenstein

In case any of you were thinking about moving into the middle of nowhere to be with Steve, he has some excellent news for you. Although the temperature outside when he woke up yesterday morning had only reached nine degrees, by mid day the thermometer had skyrocketed to a balmy ten on the Fahrenheit scale. … OR you could plan on meeting Kristal in Florida next time she visits. All in all, that might be warmer. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]

Nice Weather for Skimply Clothing

Most of you have probably barely been able to contain your excitement at the prospect of catching even a glimpse of Cytherea’s personal valet, MrT, in some photographs. Well, we can happily tell you that your wait is finally over! Woo-HOO! … Now we did have to surround those two or three important photos with a bunch more of Cytherea shaving and getting tattoos applied to make her scars less distracting on video, of course. But you can just ignore all those annoying porn star images and enjoy MrT — at least his hands and the back of his head. In case you were curious, Cy does always use waterproof temporary tattoos. Turns out that’s a good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, Natalia Forrest Exclusive Video, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video,]

Butterfles are Whee!

You probably noticed that we have all now officially reached the season where we can start thinking about the cool presents we want other people to give us for free again. True, retailers seem to be making “this time of year” fall earlier and earlier on the calendar, but once we hit December it seems fair for all of us to acknowledge it in general. Even if next year they start advertising Christmas right after the 4th of July, we will still look forward to the holiday offerings from Sam Phillips, actually. She has a unique way, that Sam. [FEATURED TAGS: Sam Phillips, Tasha Reign, Breanne Benson, Sophia Knight]

Not Sam Phillips

Lamentations abound today regarding the rapid demise of Flash becoming more and more apparent. Less bothersome to our leadership at least will be the reference to the public disintegration of a heretofore quite pompous organization in the National Football League. On the off chance that neither of these two topics hold any interest for you, we sneak in an announcement that might, and if that doesn’t work we have over 30 minutes of video that might give you a pleasant “mind space” in which to ruminate — or whatever. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Kylie Ireland, Cytherea Video, Michael Ninn]

Kylie, Dee, and Steve