March 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Your basic “cowgirl” doesn’t really wear a purple snakeskin hat and shiny pink pants. Of course you’d think that even your basic adult movie star should probably remember if she ever had anal sex on camera before. As it turns out, our basic risqué cowgirl happens to be Kristal Summers, and seeing as how the hat and pants happen to be the only things she ends up wearing for this layout, we didn’t actually get too wrapped up in genre accuracy. Go figure. As for the second theory here, well, according to Cytherea, some of those early years are still a little murky to the lass. We call that one Forgotten Butt, of Course. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video]

Kristal Summers

Odds seem good that we have all met one of those people that will proudly explain how little ego they have. There seem to be quite a lot of them, for whatever reason, and not one of them has ever learned the word “irony” or the Concept of Karma. If you have known one of these people for a long time, however, retrospect can tug on a few different emotions in us. People don’t simply stop being friends because they somehow jump from fame to infamy, but that can be difficult to explain to someone new to the environment. Take Marc Wallice and Jenna Jameson, for example. [STAR TAGS: Jenna Jameson Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Christi Lake Video]

Jenna Jameson & Marc Wallice

People into Numerology must think that 3/21/14 would be an excellent day to do something special. Look at it: There’s a hidden seven and all kinds of threes in there. That’s got to count for something, right? … OK. So technically none of us knows the first thing about numerology, but we do recognize the heat in (and on) Alexis Texas having sex, and seriously, that probably gets more attention than numbers anyway. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas Exclusive Video]

Ms. Texas, Probably Considering Numerology

According to Rich Gannon on NFL Radio — the acknowledged expert on everything, of course — people will consume 13 million pints of Guinness on this St. Patrick’s Day. Factoring in our contribution, that means the rest of the world needs to be responsible for somewhere in the vicinity of 12,999,991 pints today. Now we don’t know where all of that will come from, but we have an excellent idea about where 155 beautiful braless “Erins” will come from. [STAR TAGS: Erins Go Braless! Kylie Ireland St. Patrick’s Day Audio]

Kylie Ireland

Supposedly the middle of March happens to be a big threat because we should theoretically fear a dreamer? … Obviously things have changed between Shakespeare and Alexis Texas — Social Media being one of the foremost among them, it appears. Or would that be amongst them? It’s all very confusing. We should stick to naked women. Otherwise we thinks we doth protest too much. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Texas, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video,]


Alexis Texas All Atwitter About Something

One of the greatest things about college has to be that about this time every year, the mind starts turning to wonderful, sun-drenched, thoughts about Spring Break. Of course one of the greatest things about being out of college would be that you can take a break any time you want. Granted, you pretty much have to live off the grid, or have really rich relatives, a state that sadly does not define anyone we know. Still, we do get to work with Kristal Summers and Cytherea regularly, so as jobs go, we don’t really complain about this one very much. We will on occasion wonder, however: Where’s a good trust fund when you need one? [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Cytherea Video, Lauren Phoenix Video, Scarlet Red, Romance]


Ahoy, Matey!

Since yesterday everyone celebrated “Fat Tuesday” would it not make sense that we should call today “Skinny Wednesday” from now on? It sure sounds a lot more pleasant than Ash Wednesday, for example. Also, it makes a lot more sense to Get the Skinny on Dee & Anais Breaking Glad than it does to think about them all covered with ashes. Eeew. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Anais Exclusive Video]


Consider us one big ol’ happy group of sexual philanthropists. Granted, it would seem pretty silly to imagine a big ol’ unhappy group of sexual philanthropists, so you might as well just go with the easy one. As a rule, we like that approach in life — and not just when it applies to our women. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Feeling Sexually Philanthropic