11/29/12 | In a wild fit of traditional journalistic glee, we set about actually researching a topic. We set out our questions. We found an expert in the field. We conducted an interview. We took careful notes before transcribing our masterpiece. … So that fact that we just happened to be asking Dee about the relative merits of computer geeks could have had something to do with our enthusiasm, but we don’t really get a chance to use the word journalistic around here very often, so we’re still happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com] |
11/26/12 | We make ourselves feel better by believing that “all things happen for a reason,” but would we not all feel better that when things do happen they include this reason along with the event as a handy explanation? Of course we habitually eschew the morose at risqué and our bright side invariably includes beautiful naked women, so we’re thinking the relevant deities might not feel much of a need for justification in our case. … That probably makes sense, as does Alexis Ford in this context. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford Video, Ayla Marie] |
11/24/12 | Some clever person in the office noted that “Assassin” — when used in the risqué realm — sounds more like a three-way between a guy and two anal-friendly women than it does either a not very nice person or a video game. Then a different clever person pointed out that it could perhaps more easily refer to basically any scene in a gay male movie. That pretty much covered our “analysis” of the whole Ass-Ass-In concept, so we moved along to fixing a slight oversight in the shayla.com post a couple of days ago, helpfully this time with the assistance of Keri Windsor and a Kylie Ireland archive. All in all, Keri and Kylie were a lot more fun to consider that gay sex scenes. Of course we’re undoubtedly biased. [FEATURED TAGS: Keri Windsor, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland, Michael Ninn] |
11/22/12 | It may come as a bit of a surprise, but as a group we do not tend to be “gamers” in this office. New people always bring interesting new things into our lives, though, and thus we have recently learned that the new Assassin’s Creed III features the British military as the villains in the adventure. Thanksgiving seemed like the perfect chance for us to assure Maverick and his countrymen and women that nobody asked us about this decision before they did it. Obviously we would have simply deferred to Shayla, and she seems very friendly with new people. You can observe inputs (as it were) from both Mav and Shayla as you try to avoid the inevitable food comas later in the day. … Do save room for pie, however. Life’s short. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com] |
11/19/12 | Dear and Decidedly Desirable Dee has determined to rejoin our (dare we say dysfunctional) Digital Division, and we welcome her back to the fold with … well, sadly nothing that starts with the letter “D” as it turns out. What we lacked in completing the alliterative avenue, however, we more than make up for with Dee’s request at a “redux” of some of her earliest Risqué Commune work — this time of the DP variety as a matter of fact. Speaking of Dee’s folds … [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Tina Tyler, Michael Ninn] |
11/17/12 | If you have three C’s and a pair of D’s you probably have Cytherea on the Central Coast — topless. Of course you could have Cytherea and that weird triple-breasted woman from the old Star Trek episode, but none of us will admit to knowing anything at all about old Star Trek episodes, so let’s just go with the Cytherea Topless at a friend’s house bit. By the way, does anyone know the trouble with tribbles? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video] |
11/13/12 | Other than our friends Ernest Greene and Kylie Ireland, we can’t really think of very many people that think foreplay requires a fine collection of soft ropes, assorted gags (not the funny kind), and various incarnations of whipping devices. It seems, though, that we need to add Summer Cummings into that group, as she aptly demonstrates today with the buxom assistance of Kristal Summers. One thing we have learned, case in point via D.Minion today, if you want to make very large breasts look even larger, ropes can assist you. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie] |
11/10/12 | Ah, politics. … We decided to transition from the political world at least slightly with a memorable dip into the fantasy pool with Cytherea. As burglars go, one could think of a lot worse suspects to catch outside there home in the dead of night seems obvious. Of course the thing about politics that perhaps set it apart has to be that half the people think it IS fantasy, and the other half — generally the losers — wish with all their hearts that it were. Naturally our industry remains particularly well suited for the arena, however. After all, we’re all used to strange bedfellows. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea] |
11/7/12 | Regardless of how an election turns out, you always end up with two primary groups of people. One will be running around spouting brief exclamations such as, “Yippee!” (or in our case, “What Ho!”). And you will be able to quickly pick out the other collection of individuals by their glum faces and glazed stares that convey a distinct “How the hell did this happen?” feel. While the woulda, shoulda, coulda faction decides which lawyers to hire, we have decided to move along with Kristal Summers, her activities being particularly pertinent today. As painful as today may feel for the losing sides right now, however, we would still advise them to cherish these feelings. Wait until they get the money estimates from the attorneys. That’ll put a whole new meaning on woulda, shoulda, coulda … . [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Cytherea] |
11/5/12 | Unlike all the television commercials you have grown completely sick of over the last three months (or longer, depending) we do not actually care for whom or what you vote for tomorrow. We do, however, care a great deal about whether you vote at all. Even putting aside all the potentially viable arguments that your one vote will not make any difference because by nightfall we often “know” who won anyway, voting serves a vital public interest. You may in fact affect local elections or propositions, after all, and besides, you could find it very useful in the coming weeks and months. Even if your side loses, you can always say later when everything runs amok, “Hey. It’s not my fault. I voted the other way.” [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Erica McLean Video] |
11/1/12 | Rarely can a vast majority of people agree on anything, but it seems safe to say that regardless of one’s political affiliations, we are ALL tired of all the television commercials telling us how we should feel. In the background of one local spot this week, though, we spied a poster on the wall behind some woman talking about something or other. At this point we have no idea what she was for or against, but the poster said, “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.” We feature our own political correspondent today in Kylie Ireland, and we do plan to ask her what the current posters on her walls say. How did people live before TIVO? That must have been hard. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland] |
Filed Under: Keri Windsor
July 2012 Risque | What’s New
… With appropriate credit to Garth:
Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff
7/30/12 | Maintaining our Risqué ne’er say intrepid reporter philosophy, our keen operatives managed to catch up with the Queen after she had parachuted into Olympic Stadium. Arriving with James Bond in time for the Opening Ceremonies. we can report the Queen “shaken, but not stirred” — just in case you were curious. … OK. So we made that up, we didn’t really see the Queen, and overall the word “intrepid” fits many more of us than it does not. Still, while the Queen might be interested in our discussion of homonyms, she might not appreciate the illustrations, primarily provided by Cytherea today. … On the other hand, London does have a fancy new Aquatics Centre, and our buddy Cy could bring a whole new level of interest to that particular place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Ann Harlow Video, MichaelNinn.com] |
7/27/12 | Hey! Did you know that America has a two-time Gold Medal fencing champion? Well, when she gets done with these Olympics, we’re going to try and get her to go spend some time at Steve’s house, because his chickens keep getting out. He could use one of those fencing experts for a few days. … Until then, of course, we will be diligently watching the event which always teaches us not only the wide range of bizarre sports that constitute Olympic events, but also demonstrates the distinct value of having a television set in the office. We will probably keep including various beautiful women displayed in various sexual situations too; that is, after all, what we do. Consequently for our “Opening Ceremonies” we begin with Kristal Summers and An Analysis of MILF Relativity. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Deauxma Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com] |
7/24/12 | Gauging from the national weather service, should one wish to spend some time in Dallas these days, one would be well advised to do so via the Dallas XXX variety courtesy of Adam & Eve. D.Minion offers up her Day Two Tribute this time around, and all of the naked photos of Bobbi Starr and Alexis Ford might even get you to ignore all ones of the puppy. She was a cute little thing, though; we’ll have to give her that — the dog, we mean. Bobbi and Alexis passed “cute” a long time ago. So far we have yet to see a canine that falls into the “sexy as hell” category, and we’re just fine with that actually. [FEATURED TAGS: Bobbi Starr Exclusive Video, Alexis Ford, AdamAndEve.com] |
7/21/12 | D.Minion has taken her annual “Girls’ Weekend Away” again, thus leaving no one around to keep the company rudder from taking us, well, who knows where? While we do happen to be smart enough not to point out that a “weekend” for most people does not in fact equal five full days, we somehow always forget all the really important things D.Minion leaves behind in her copious notes. Honestly, as far as any of us can remember, not one single person has ever read even one of those notes, and yet DM persists in their creation time and time again. Since we do realize that only members will be able to see what chaos we have wrought this time around, we did decide to pass along the same Secret to Happiness in Life that we always provide for D.Minion: Lowered Expectations. … See? Now you can go to bed content, even if you’re not a Member. Of course to be Really Happy you should be, but that will be a topic for another day. Right now we’re not expecting much. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Keri Windsor Video, Charlie Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com] |
7/16/12 | Even adult industry members can do good deeds and care about culture and society in general. … Gosh. Who knew, right? … Well, we’re still in the process of sorting the massive amounts of Shayla LaVeaux we acquired last week, along with the smaller amount, but equally as fun, “data” on Cytherea, but D.Minion has already picked out her most ominous photograph “since forever” (according to her). While we talk about (and hopefully promote) a wonderful cause on tap in the next couple of weeks we will leave to you the task of figuring out our perhaps not quite as wonderful — but still quite hysterical — pun. You see, while encouraging the protection of domestic animals and their rescue shelters we decided to illustrate with moving pictures of a slang expression for cat. We’re clever that way. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann Video, Brea Bennett Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video] |
7/15/12 | The alleged leaders have returned from the latest “content acquisition vacation” which historically has proven to be an optimum collection of new material to roll out over the next few months: We ended up with more than we thought we would, but a little less than we had hoped for. While we sit down and try to bring some sense of organization to the thousands of files we thought it best to return with an easy volley. When you have Kristal Summers and Shayla LaVeaux to help pass the time, life seems pretty good as it turns out — even if it can be confusing. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers] |
7/9/12 | Come to find out, when your “B-Cup” runneth over in D.Minion’s office it has nothing to do with your bra size. Rather than spend too much time on the dangerous road that is DM’s mind, though, we decided to offer up a dandy gift in the persons of Kristal Summers and Lola — interestingly in Vegas at the time of this shoot. You see, the leaders head out today, also en route to Las Vegas and what they assure the rest of us will be “nothing but work” for the week. Of course we don’t believe them, but we do enjoy Kristal and Lola gifts — particularly when enhanced by Shayla and Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Lola Video, Juli Ashton Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee] |
7/4/12 | All of us have become quite familiar with scope of accomplishments over our lives. Those possessing a bit of the wisdom that comes with age — mental or literal — have learned to celebrate both major and minor perspectives in fact. Given our place in the digital entertainment environment, we decided that putting a distinctly risqué slant (as it were) on the more traditional celebrations of Independence on this Day would be just the thing to help situations heat up in the afternoon before exploding at night. … If you got more than Bar-B-Que and Fireworks out of that allusion, then you understand our aims completely. Think Labia when you consider both Major and Minor. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video] |
7/1/12 | Just a little bit of thought would seem to support the theory that not very many posts on an adult web site end with a prayer, but around here we have learned one of life’s most important lessons — if not the most important: Play the hand you’re dealt. … With that in mind, you should probably be aware that much of today’s discussion centers around Kristal Summers’ delightful derrière, so the religious overtones are slight. … Well, come to think of it, a great many people, when viewing Kristal’s butt for the first time, often seem to exclaim, “Oh, dear God … .” [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video] |
September 2011 Risque | What’s New
… With appropriate credit to Garth:
Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff
9/27/11 | You take your basic adult video site, and you start talking about video of “pie” and all kinds of naughty things most likely come to mind. While Cytherea and her CyCAM certainly fit that bill, we will warn you that D.Minion has once again outdone herself with her “Eye in the Pie” interpretation. Don’t worry too much, however, as we can assure you that even this oddness has nothing whatsoever to do with 3.14159265 … [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video] |
9/24/11 | We theorize that you members have been keeping up with all the Risque Commune sites over the past week and a half. Because you have learned this a valuable effort, you have thus already seen Cytherea playing naturally au naturel in nature, Shayla being her naturally friendly self while “Going Down, Down Under” … and Maverick of 247AdultStars fame (yeah, well, sort of) turning a quite natural shade of purple in the presence of naked females. You have already seen all this so we don’t even need to mention it. If you have somehow lost your mind recently and have not been paying commune-wide attention, well fear not, we have linked you pleasantly today. And we’ve thrown in a study of Bijou Not Being Bitter as well. We think maybe she doesn’t understand that word. … And in case you’re wondering, we “theorize” all of this because we know what “assume” can do. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Jessica Drake Video, Dolorean Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, Dee, Wendy Divine, Kristal Summers, Keri Windsor, 247AdultStars.com] |
9/13/11 | Gloom has befallen fully half of the NFL fans as of very late last night, or very early this morning, depending upon where you call home. The other half of the fans, as one might expect, find themselves rejuvenated, thoughts of evil union disputes pushed far into the ancient history parts of there minds. … Then there are the other people who have somehow managed to avoid the clutches of American Football Frenzy and find accounts of lesbian sexual interaction far more appealing. Sometimes it can be hard to understand any of these extremes, however, but if you think about it, it remains far easier to contemplate why someone might be interested in beautiful naked females than it does to fathom how some people can get distressingly worked up over a game. Those people should probably search for “Gloom, despair, and agony on me” replays on YouTube. [FEATURED TAGS: Angie Savage Exclusive Video, Angelina Valentine Exclusive Video, Holly Sampson, Juelz Ventura] |
9/10/11 | As it turns out, no one was keeping the home fires burning during our recent trip to cover Adam & Eve’s Dallas — experience. On the other hand, some attentive person decided to provide a great deal of fire for us at our temporary location. Honestly in this case we’d rather not have relied on the kindness of strangers. And for a town named “Sweet Water” they sure didn’t seem to have much of it actually available locally. Go figure. [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com] |
9/7/11 | Depending upon when you happen to be reading this, you may find that we are technically “before” September 7th. However, since we’re taking all the new folks in the office down to L.A. to cover the Adam & Eve “Parody” of Dallas this week, we thought we’d get this up before we left so people weren’t sad in our absence. Of course you could be reading this at some point in the future, so this distinction won’t mean anything at all to you. Just understand that time remains a wholly relative concept around here, and you’ll be fine. If you find yourself still confused, ask “eno” on the Message Board. He can explain it. … Oh! Cougars & Coeds – part 1. … [FEATURED TAGS: Shyla Styles, Ruby Rayes] |
9/4/11 | Someone told us recently that “It’s better to be implacable than wise.” He claims to have read it in a book, and it may even be true. Were we wise enough to know what implacable means, we might even be able to comment with more insight, but sadly most of us here lack the tenacity necessary to go and find a dictionary these days. Even dictionary.com takes valuable time away from YouTube where we might enjoy classic Jennifer Beals videos. We all make tough decisions in life. For the record, though, when we grow up, we want to be Uncle Gibby. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Ashton Moore, Dru Berrymore, Jenna Haze, Laurie Wallace, Michelle Michaels, Shay Sights, Star E. Knight, Tanya Danielle, Wanda Curtis, Lexi Belle, Monique Alexander, Nikki Delano, Breanne Benson, Capri Anderson, Sunny Leone, Exxxotica Chicago 2011 Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn] |
9/1/11 | Finally we find ourselves but one round of meaningless games away from the real NFL season. … That’s what we’re all thinking, right? … It certainly couldn’t be that we have once again in our lives been distracted by large-breasted females. That couldn’t happen yet again, could it? … No way. We are dedicated and seasoned professionals, in no way susceptible to confusion generated by simple biological quirks. … And if you believe that, you really needn’t bother with today’s post. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn] |
Andre Madness — Colors of Cooperation
