Keep on Truckin’
by Nobody Special
[Technically this update comes from a ReelRisqué entry that features a friend we have not seen in far too long, our old buddy Julian. At a distance looking every bit the former marine he was, when you got into a conversation with Julian, his warmth and general enjoyment of life always becomes apparent. Of course, having seen the look on many a woman’s face when she got a chance to “work” with Julian, we can tell he always had a lot to enjoy in life. In some places (sorry to disappoint you), size does matter.]
Back in the days when Alfred E. Neuman felt like everyone seemed to be telling him to stop worrying too much, all the cools kids were advised to just Keep on Truckin’ in life. According to AI, so thus it must be true, Keep on Truckin’ “was embraced as a slogan of perseverance during the counterculture movement of that [1970s] era.”
By the time the younger generation replaced the hippies in use of the slogan, the meaning more turned to advice suggesting that a fine place for premarital sex might be one’s pickup truck — or maybe that was just a Thornton, Colorado thing (a place where trucks outnumbered cars for young adults by about a 3-1 margin). Whatever the case, we should make clear that despite the “poster” photograph here, Amy and Julian do not in fact consummate their friendship in a truck. That said, we have never once heard any dude complain about a little warm-up head before going inside.
To be clear, one would expect a little play around the edges in these sorts of artistic endeavors, so allowing a little flexibility — as it were — around the presentation seemed fine. As for the plot itself, they may have been closer to reality than you might think. Ostensibly in our adventure, the driver and camera operator has decided that he never gets laid because of his job on these shoots, so it only seems fair if Julian takes a turn on camera so as to free up his buddy to … pitch his woo, so to speak. Of course the woman takes one look at Julian and completely blows that strategy up entirely.
Now none of us really expected Amy to jump on the driver, but that would be beside the point in this case. You see, one of us happened to do some international travel with Julian, back when he was dating Stacy Valentine. Some of you may not remember Stacy, but she was a stunningly beautiful woman, almost stereotypically busty and blonde as would befit an adult star in the 1990s. When Stacy walked into a room, or down the street, people noticed. At the time I was travelling with Juli Ashton, a woman who talked live to 10+ million viewers on Playboy TV every couple of weeks. Tall, lithe, famous, and very fun, Juli got noticed everywhere too. (We were sitting on a private beach in Fiji when a couple came up to ask for her autograph at breakfast. I kid you not.)
[We interrupt this fascinating Julian story — which you may not be able to tell actually is a Julian story yet — to illustrate with the substantially more fascinating Jezebelle Bond. Remember that look on a woman’s face when she got to work with Julian that day? Well, now you can see what we mean.]
So we’re at the Cannes Film Festival, in Cannes, France, and we’re walking down the “Promenade de la Croisette” which, if you have never been, happens to be the main drag of the entire event. All the red carpets hit that sidewalk (or even take over part of it) for all the fancy debuts being shown, those being attended by all the beautiful and fancy people. There are so many 100′ yachts in the harbor that you could never count them, and the vast majority of the people around us are wearing clothes that cost more than I’d make in a month — or three. You get the picture: We somehow found ourselves in the middle of some very fancy crowd doing whatever rich fancy people do at Cannes in the South of France.
As we walked, I could see heads turn everywhere, which I found easy to observe, because none of those heads was turning in my direction. Of course I was comfortable with this, as I spent a lot of time in a lot of places around world being surrounded by beautiful women. I was very used to people not looking at me. The weird thing this time became obvious when a couple approached me to ask about — not Stacy or Juli — but Jullian. Big tall guy. Big tall smile. And way better looking in real life than should be legal. Nobody was looking at the beautiful blondes, because they were absolutely convinced that Julian just had to be somebody famous. It was fascinating. I must have been asked about him a dozen times on that one walk.
Of course me being me I gave everyone the same answer. “Oh, you might recognize him, but you’ve probably never seen him with his pants on.”
Really friendly and nice chap too, Julian. You just really wanted to slap him.
To round out our Risqué wrap of the scene today, I can give you a little hint based on more than a little personal experience. As for sex in a truck in general, honestly a couch will be much more comfortable as a rule. You have a much greater list of potential positions, and nobody risks having a gearshift slam them in the kidney.
[We looked around and could find no current contact information via social media for Julian. This would make just another thing we admire about him. Go read about the Broncos. They’re fun too, and every team is going the win the Super Bowl before the season starts.]
