September 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Makeup sex can be really great. We all know that, right? Of course getting to actually have sex by way of apology would probably be better than getting to merely watch sex, but even as technologically advanced as we are around here, we have not quite mastered the “transporter” option for the web site. We do, however, have Asia Carrera to help you along with whatever journey you (two or three or) choose to take. All in all, it’s probably for the best we cannot offer that “’in person” option. Asia would get really, really tired. [STAR TAGS: Asia Carrera Video]

Riding a Turbo Carrera

Maverick has a birthday today, although considering how these updates play “in history” so to speak, it may not technically be “today” when you read this. Consequently, should you ever have the inkling to wish Maverick a Happy Birthday, you just need to do so on September 25th. Mav happens to be a quite kind chap, and thus he celebrates his birthday on the same day every year. For our part, we try to memorialize this date the same way every year too: Kristal Summers. He seems to appreciate it. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Kristal Summers

When a good friend suffers a loss — even if you happen to think it’s completely ridiculous, because it’s only a game, and your friend wasn’t even playing the game personally — you do what you can to remind them of happier times. So today, as a bunch of regular working people in Wisconsin feel lousy about a bunch of highly paid people in Wisconsin, we chose to remind Uncle Gibby about Exxxotica Chicago this year. Cheer up, dear friend: At least we didn’t send you boner pills. [STAR TAGS: Stormy Daniels, Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Britney Amber, Jayden Jaymes, Jayden Cole, Lexi Belle, Exxxotica Chicago Exclusive Video]

Lexi. We Love that Belle.

None of us has been willing to go on record regarding D.Minion’s organizational mania at the new office, but we will point out that we now have a label on a shelf that reads “Label Maker.” Of course being given DM’s persona in a regular work environment will allow others to think outside the box — as it were — regarding important things like how we might improve cheerleaders, and how we might please Gibby at least half the time, just like the 1-1 Green Bay Packers. [STAR TAGS: Anais Video, Jana Cova Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michelle Michaels Video, Michael Ninn]

TWO Stunning Blondes

Well we survived another Friday the 13th again, although truth be told when the dude in charge goes by the name “Lucky” those tend to be sort of party days around here anyway. Of course the REAL truth be told, one could pretty much apply that description to pretty much any of our days. Although technically this update applies most directly to questions via the “Free Side” of risqué, we can’t really answer them without some of the uncensored aspects of the Membership Side, so we decided to throw a party to celebrate our cleverness. You’ll actually find us fairly shameless when it comes to party excuses, and we don’t even care that much about accuracy. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland Video]

Under Dee Water

Not many people give much thought to the term bittersweet anymore, but for the last dozen years, Americans have been able to put that term to September 11th. As a nation we’re certainly a lot stronger and safer than we were before that date, but the progress came at a terrible cost. Retrospect has a way of bringing up mixed emotions, which we can happily avoid simply by looking at Kaylan Nicole … and Cytherea … and Shayla LaVeaux. All things considered, life can be pretty good around here. Oddly enough, most of our memories are not too painful to remember. … [STAR TAGS: Kaylan Nicole Video, Shayla LaVeaux Audio, Cytherea]

A Beauty Within, as it were  …

Have you heard the famous line, “Seven in One Blow!” somewhere along the line? Now it could refer to a particularly accurate fellow with a fly swatter. It could also be talking about an element in any number of gang bang movies. Of course now all the truly erudite will understand that the sentence refers to the opening game Peyton Manning had in the 2013 NFL season. Of course this only becomes important for the “non-erudite” when taken as an example of how sometimes people can interpret things in different ways. … It doesn’t make them wrong so much as … OK … It makes them wrong. [STAR TAGS: Anais, Jana Cova Video, Michael Ninn]

Nothing Wrong with Anais

Depending upon what day you happen to be looking at this, the date at the side here might be confusing. But worry not: today is in fact September 5th. You see D.Minion had carefully planned out her Intimate Encounters 3 coverage to hit on consecutive Denver Bronco games under the odd assumption that not all people care about such things. Sadly, D.Minion failed to comprehend the difference between preseason and the regular season in the NFL. Worry not, however. We fixed it. No matter what your calendar says, don’t panic. Of course “tomorrow” might be September 5th too, but soon it won’t matter in the slightest — well, except for the loser of the game … on September 5th. [STAR TAGS: Sophia Knight Exclusive Video, Breanne Benson Exclusive Video, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Sophia Knight

Kristal Summers has a birthday on this date. This one happens to be special, however, as after much research we have determined that it will be the only one in 2013, so that deserves a celebration. Of course only Maverick could decide that having Kristal dress up in a latex nurse outfit for him qualifies as a birthday celebration for her, but those Brits … . What’re ya gonna do? … At least Mav contributes to the cause with his “Nurse Sandie” U.K. version, and that helped. Next year, though, we’re all lobbying for Mav to bring Nurse Sandie TO Nurse Kristal. THAT sounds like a party. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Sandie Caine Exclusive Video,]

Nurse of the Sandie Variety