Filed Under: Jana Jordan

Our Jana Jordan Introduction

[A week or so ago, the gang published a birthday “effort” featuring Jana Jordan. Although a bit low on the technical score — getting an incorrect Brea, and all — they did bring up an important point that made the gift heartwarming after all. The list of women that risqué did not represent, but certainly would have, happens to be a remarkably short one. Jana Jordan would certainly be on that list, however. Given Michael’s current Jana-craze, and the post from a week ago, we decided to update the story of the first time I met Jana (and Bubblegum). The words haven’t changed much, but goodness how much video on the web has evolved since the dark ages of 2007. It could make a fellow feel old, did he not spend so much time with lively twenty-somethings. … -L]

The Giver Jordan

by X. Communicated

We’re going to have to skip a lot of relevant topics today, as if we didn’t we’d never finish before we ended up with a longer article than DM, Mav, or Lon have ever dreamed of creating. Besides, new pretty girls are always fun, and there’s no sense denying that we all hang around here because we’re honest enough to admit that.

May 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/29/14	In all probability Jassie will not be appearing out of the blue to give you a blow job today. She probably won’t appear out of the aquamarine or fuchsia either, so you might need a different coloring book all the way around. On the other hand, if one hangs with Jassie, one can never be quite sure what may happen. She’s an exceptional lass, that Jassie. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jassie Video, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]
5/26/14	Happy Birthday to Kylie, both sexy and wily. When she strips down naked, it makes us all smiley. … OK. So it’s not exactly The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but you have to agree that it’s a lot easier to read. Also, despite his literary prowess, Mr. Coleridge never had lesbian sex with Ashlyn Rae. Well, you know, he was a dude. … Kylie wins again! [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Rae Video]
5/23/14	Few people on the planet understand network television as well as our own D.Minion. This seems odd to us, because as a rule people do not tend to study things whose primary function seems to be one of causing irritation. Of course weave in the captivating beam of London Keyes, and even the ChickaDees cannot stay sad. Put London in a school uniform, and … well … we just give them all some private time. But we share … [STAR TAGS: London Keyes Video]
5/20/14	An ever-vigilant and thoughtful new member pointed out four missing large images in a post from clear back in 2006. Granted, Heather Vuur does not show any signs of ever becoming “old news” or anything — particularly around here — but we did want to show our appreciation for the effort taken to write in and point out the errors (quite politely, we should add). Obviously we could have simply fixed the four links on the photos, which we did — to cover ourselves whenever someone else goes back there — but then we got to thinking. … OK. So sometimes that can be scary, but sometimes it can also result is wonderful new larger renditions of the photos, along with typically stunning video of Jassie, Brooke, AND Heather Vuur this time. Fans pay attention. Everybody wins! [STAR TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Jassie Video, Brooke Banner Video, Michael Ninn]
5/18/14	Despite a significant amount of technical prowess in these offices, we have as yet been unable to figure out how to use Parental Lock to keep the DVR from filling up with unwatched episodes of “Too Cute” on Animal Planet. Of course D.Minion has her own ways … as some of learned painfully this week. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Chayse Manhattan Video, Misty Rain Video, Leena Video, Faye Taylor Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
5/12/14	Have you ever wondered why all the beautiful women do all the difficult — notice how we avoided the overly simple pun hard at this point — work around here? Well, it turns out D.Minion remains fairly sure that an overwhelming desire to please her pretty much explains it all. Would that this were only true, we would never again have to ask For Whom the Belles Toil. … (Yeah, that hurt just writing it down. … Sometimes we have no control. You should know that about us. … ) [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Georgia Adair Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Anais, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]
5/9/14	Everyone arrived at work today in a wonderful mood. Having each received text messages last evening, it seems we now all have a new favorite Green Bay Packer we have affectionately nicknamed “Monica” — according to our leader. After all, what else does the name “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix” make you think of? … And this strange view of the world pretty much explains all of our Adult Behavior perspectives today. … You learn to adapt; what can we say? [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux]
5/5/14	Many, many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, although according to a new report we heard, apparently the holiday tends to be a lot more popular than in America than in Mexico. If we had paid more attention we might have learned why that happens to be, but we can just take it on faith. It was on the television news. It has to be true. … All of that said, not many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo the way we chose to this year — with Mika Tan. Hey, we’ll drink cerveza and ruminate upon Mika. Sounds like a plan. … [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Lorraine Sisco]
5/2/14	Sometimes you meet someone, and the chemistry between the two of you almost feels electric. OK, so most of the time one of you feels attracted while the other feels repulsed, but magnetic fields can be sort of like electricity, so that should count for something. Still, should you find yourself on the “rejected” end of one of these interpersonal dynamics, do not despair. While sadness tends to be depressing, mirth can be quite fun. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Carli Banks Video, Alexis Love Video, Tiffany Sweet Video, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Michael Ninn]

April 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/14	Having thus far fallen short of our collective goal of reaching a lifestyle of pure noblesse oblige, we nonetheless feel obliged to offer a noble effort toward understanding world culture. Of course we used on-set adult star interviews in both the U.S. and the U.K. to serve as our illustration, which we admit may fail some arbitrary “significance” standards when it comes to global importance. So while we may not be solving world economic issues with our looks at Georgia Adair and Cate Harrington, our test subjects have boobs. … We win. [STAR TAGS: Georgia Adair Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com ]
4/27/14	Arising from peaceful slumber this morning, we had every intention of lounging in our respective peignoirs, fully dedicated to eating bon-bons and reading trashy novels. After using Google to discover the meaning of a couple of those terms, though, we figured out that our lives beat the heck out of any trashy novel plot, so we might as well learn a little something this weekend. While we’re on the topic, though, did you know they still make bon-bons? You can find anything on Amazon. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]
4/22/14	Gift-Giving etiquette dictates that the Thought in the situation takes precedence over any actual eventuality. For our part on the celebratory occasion, we hold that truth to be self evident. … You see, despite what we must say in polite public, not all men were really created equal. Nor were the women. Have you ever seen Jana Jordan entertain a pretty woman? [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Brea Lynn Video]
4/20/14	Everyone should be a fan of festive occasions that involve the giving of candy. Some festive occasions, of course, have other “meanings” as we understand it, but honestly they pretty much have us with candy. Naturally we put a risqué twist on “Some Bunny to Love” as we celebrate, thinking most people won’t miss old hard-boiled eggs in the process. As an aside on that topic, we’ll offer up some advice on festive occasions in general: While green eggs and ham might looks basically scary when done, purple eggs and ham can add quite a celebratory flair. [STAR TAGS: Alexis Amore, Jenaveve Jolie]
4/18/14	Today would be a Fine Friday to talk about Intimate Exposures 4 we decided. It could not be a “Good Friday” to talk about it because one of our Fearful Leaders expressed fear of “being zotted” should we label it so. Most of us hold the opinion that actually shooting an adult movie on Good Friday has a much greater Zot-Potential than just talking about shooting a movie, but we could be wrong. Or it could just be that Episcopalians might be a strange bunch. [STAR TAGS: Niki Lee Young Exclusive Video, Sophia Jade Exclusive Video]
4/15/14	Traditionally we try to do something decidedly non-taxing on this day because … well, if you need the explanation, you really need to pay more attention in life. Fortunately the mind of Lorraine Sisco can provide an excellent diversion, and the support staff of Mika Tan, Daisy Marie, Alexis Love, and Jean Valjean helps a lot too. It takes a village sometimes, you know. For the record, we have a darned good-looking village. [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Daisy Marie Video, Alexis Love video, Lorraine Sisco]
4/11/14	Giving everyone the 4-1-1 today seemed entirely appropriate, and since we try to be appropriate at least annually, we decided to get it out of the way for this year. After careful — dare we say nearly painstaking — examination of Monica Mayhem, Daisy Marie, and Keeani Lei we have decided that the women in adult entertainment hold a much greater significance than the men. Now how many professions outside the WNBA can you say that about? [STAR TAGS: Monica Mayhem, Daisy Marie, Keeani Lei]
4/9/14	Fact vs. Fiction. Porn Men vs. Other Men. … What it looks like taking a shower with Shayla — well, maybe if you were drunk and resting on the floor at the time. Whatever the case, you may think about any of these things today, as you ponder the global craze that might have been the HoPro. … [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jessica Drake]
4/6/14	Things can be confusing when you happen to be dealing with trying to combine sexual women on camera and concepts like “Best” in the same conversation. Fortunately for everyone, we alleviate all that befuddlement and just make it simple today. With Mia Malkova on tap (as it were) it all becomes perfectly clear. Or else you really won’t care and will be perfectly happy spending an hour or so in consideration of Mia on video and in stills. Either way, we’re cool. [STAR TAGS: Mia Malkova Video, Kimmy Haze, 247AdultStars.com]
4/1/14	Iconic fictional detective Philip Marlowe once remarked, “I like smooth shiny girls, hardboiled and loaded with sin.” Our own Uncle Gibby happens to like Raymond Chandler, and considering the date, A Particular Foolish Fetish seemed like a fine way to honor Gibby for all his hard work of late. A little Anais fit the Marlowe bill nicely, and we might learn a little in the process. Winners all around. No foolin’ … [STAR TAGS: Anais Video, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn]

Year:2014

Month:April

December 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/28/13	For the final post of 2013 we offer you Dee sleeping on a couch with two miniature dachshunds. … Of course in a little bit she gets up and does a Cam Show with Kristal Summers, Mr. Marcus, and a Sybian — just in case you prefer to let sleeping dogs lie. Interestingly this little picture represents the only one that we could possibly show on the free side. Go figure. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Dee Exclusive Video]
12/25/13	We have learned that “Fame” — with a capital “F” naturally — only exists within a specified realm. Of course American Football has the most relevance to everyday life, as well as the future of civilization, so obviously we pay the most attention there. Given that introduction we will pay note to a “famous” American Sports Writer in Denver that opines, “Be naughty. Save Santa the trip.” … Quaint. But in our world Naughty is Nice. So apparently American Football is not everything. How can that be? [STAR TAGS: Devinn Lane]
12/24/13	In the annals of “Good Golly We Almost Made it” … gosh, nothing noteworthy has ever happened. Despite all the ”We Love The World, and Ain’t Everyone Just Excellent” awards, sometimes people lose. that’s what makes life worth living. Were we those people, we would of course be properly penitent. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
12/22/13	Does anyone else think that the “Famous Idaho Potato Bowl” ought to have a trophy made out of bacon and cheese? With maybe some sour cream artfully surrounding the base? Can anyone see what hours and hours of doing computer code can do your brain when it finally takes a break and begins to absorb the college bowl season? Fortunately, Cytherea and many other comely lasses help us think about none of those inane questions. We’re not sure exactly where “inane” falls on a map, but we are certain we have fallen and cannot get up. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Brea Bennett Video, Jana Jordan Video, Cassidey Video, Renee Perez Video, Michael Ninn]
12/18/13	New technology does not always mean better technology. Most of the time “improvements” make things easier, or perhaps more efficient, but sometimes that evolution drops certain capabilities that were honestly just wonderful. Of course one does not need to embrace technology to enjoy Kristal Summers, but as with most things, the more you understand, the more you can appreciate. ’Tis the season to feel a bit nostalgic, though, so we pause for a moment to think about … you know, nostalgic technology. Regardless, you pretty much want to embrace Kristal however you can. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]
12/13/13	Ah but we do enjoy Friday the 13^th around here. Of course when you can have eggnog too, well that just makes it extra special. Should someone spike that eggnog, however, one might be a little careful with the packaging. Considering the type of products we normally ship from our Erotic Catalogue, it would be sad if, say, mom and dad, got a “gift” intended for another person entirely. You know, hypothetically. Fortunately today, we have Shayla LaVeaux, Natalia Forrest, and Becca to help us stop thinking about packaging at all. We might still think about boxes. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Becca Video, Natalia Forrest Video, 247AdultStars.com]
12/11/13	Some days you may wonder how in the world we ended up with the conversation we did. Let’s face it: We do some pretty bizarre things around here sometimes. Other days, though, someone says, “Hey! I found a video orgy with Brittney Skye, Samantha Ryan, Brooke Haven, Cassie Courtland, Nadia Styles, Randi Wright, Rita Faltoyano, and, um, Angel Cassidy. Can we use that?” … And you say, “Of course.” … All things considered, some days being a leader are harder than others. [STAR TAGS: Angel Cassidy Exclusive Video, Brittney Skye Exclusive Video, Samantha Ryan Video, Brooke Haven Video, Cassie Courtland Video, Nadia Styles Video, Randi Wright Video, Rita Faltoyano Video, Michael Ninn]
12/8/13	If you try to get shopping advice from a female Photoshop Geek, you might get some suggestions that border on strange — or else blast completely through strange so that they can homestead in truly bizarre. Should, however, said Photoshop Geek happen to work in the adult industry, well, at least you will also get some excellent illustrations. If you like your pictures more in the moving variety, you can ignore all that and just enjoy a little HD with London Keyes and Elexis Malone. Spelling doesn’t count. Looks do. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, London Keys Video, Elexis Malone Video]
12/4/13	We get pretty darned busy around here, but we don’t usually misplace coverage of Dee on Set with a fellow named “Pussyman” for twelve full years … plus. One the other hand, at least we found it. As with many things we were not really looking for it when we made the discovery, but we have now decided to keep not looking for stuff on a regular basis. [STAR TAGS: Dee, Chloe Amour Video, Lily Lust Video, Savannah Fox Video, Angelina Chung Video, Kimber Day Video, Katerina Moss Video, Roxxie Silver Video, Percilla Riclof Video]
12/2/13	Ah, the holiday season has come upon us. Of course in this industry a lot of different people enjoy a lot of different things coming upon them, but we like holidays too. And as we anticipate the decisions regarding important changes we all decide we need every new year, Shayla LaVeaux drops by with some AVN Hall of Fame insights for any of you thinking about a career out here with the rest of us crazy people. We too provide critical contributions by basically saying, “Yeah, what she said.” … You go with your strengths in life. [STAR TAGS: Alexis DeVell, Serenity, Jeanna Fine, Paula Price, Asia Carrera Video, Kelly Jaye Video]