Filed Under: Jana Jordan

June 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

6/30/10

You know how comfortable old friends can be? When they happen to look like Shayla LaVeaux, and they happen to have Shayla’s decided openness about nudity in general, well, they make darn good house guests too. Of course Shayla happens to be much more than a pretty face, and she has some dandy ideas about excellent travel arrangements, as we learn today. She’s even gotten into the spirit of our liaison with our British bud Maverick, although we’d be willing to bet she’s going to win the flirting contest with pretty much anyone named “Lexi” that you’re likely to run across. As long as we get to watch, though, we don’t really care who wins. (Hey, sorry about that Mav.) [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Phoenix Ray, Evan Stone]

Shayla with Phoenix Ray, Sadly not at Our House
6/26/10

Oops! We’ve mentioned this before, but we really hold to the opinion that you should never let the boss at your place of employment actually do any important work. It’s just going to get messed up, either because they haven’t done this particular task for years, or (in a technology field like ours) they may well have never known how to do it in the first place. Consequently we’re putting up the picture set courtesy of Michael Ninn’s wonderful skills at still photography today, that actually should have gone with the story a couple of days ago. We suppose it’s nice that somebody noticed, and we do appreciate all those (occasionally annoying) “silver lining” people around here, but for their benefit, we felt obliged to close with this little bit of wisdom we’ve acquired over the years: When you wake up seemingly stuck in life’s same ol’ thing circle, you should never forget that not everyone who shows up is there to help you. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Jana Cova, Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Karlie Montana, Jennifer Dark, Michael Ninn]

The Breast We Can Do
6/24/10

Here’s something we learned this week: Hockey introduced the first testicular guard, the Cup, in 1874. The first helmet showed up in use in 1974. Consequently, this means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. That kind of adds a little perspective to evolution, doesn’t it? Speaking of evolution, that concept as it pertains to the personal relationships of porn stars actually mirrors the lives of the rest of us mere mortals more than you might think. Theoretically we’re continuing our analysis of the issue, this time benefited by “The Janas – Jordan and Cova” – not so much because they’re vital to the illustration as because they’re just really darned beautiful. One needs standards in life. And one needs to be able to define the logic behind those standards as one sees fit. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Cova Video, Jana Jordan Video, Michael Ninn]

A Leg Up on the Competition ... (sorry)
6/20/10

Most of us really hate doing something over again. Of course most of the time we don’t have Wendy Divine offering up some very good reasons to do so. We won’t belabor a rather mundane web coding point here, but if you want to read about how this all came about you can certainly do so. Of course if you just want to see the 225 rather impressive pictures of Wendy enjoying herself with Nick Manning, well that’s fine too. For what it’s worth, Nick seemed to be doing certain things over and over again, and he seemed fine with the concept. It’s really wonderful to make Wendy smile, actually. That’s probably what Nick was after. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Nick Manning]

Waiting with Wendy, and Worth the Wait
6/18/10

Do you want to start an interesting conversation tonight? As you’re sitting down with your Significant Other to eat dinner, just try out this sentence and see where the conversation takes you: “So, if you had a clone, and I had sex with the clone, would that be cheating, since the clone is by definition an exact copy of you?” … OR … If you prefer to actually eat your food, as compared to wearing it, you might talk about the wonderful insights on Georgia Jones that you derived from the risque.com Members’ Area today. … OR … Maybe not. … This all comes down to how understanding your Significant Other happens to be, and doesn’t that just about sum up life perfectly? [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Jones Video, Michael Ninn]

And Then Along Came Jones
6/13/10

Apparently at least the East Coast newspapers haven’t learned a whole lot in the last 230+ years. It wasn’t exactly Bunker Hill, but when U.S. and England tied in a soccer match yesterday, the coverage in that part of the country celebrated like we’d actually won the contest. Fortunately we devote absolutely no time whatsoever trying to figure out why that might be as we instead delve into the “Bonus Evolution” of our own special Brit. … Seriously, we’re probably way too American to understand why people seem to get this excited about the World Cup anyway. It’s not like they’re playing football or anything. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247, AVN Awards, AEE, Faye Reagan, Sasha Grey, Lexi Love, Exclusive Video]

Mystery Women in Repose
6/10/10

Brandy. What a fine girl. In fact, what a good wife she would be. But D.Minion’s life, her love, her lady, is Marie. … Some days are just like this around here, and while we could apologize for the occasional pun and references to very old songs, it wouldn’t make them any less painful. Members have learned to either forgive or ignore us; we’ve never been quite sure which. … And if other adult sites don’t work in this fashion, well, We pity the fools. [FEATURED TAGS: Brandy]

A fine girl by any other name ...
6/7/10

If you look around and you notice a bride having sex with the groom and a priest in one room, and a couple of basically naked women cutting the heart out of a guy in another room, you’re either at a Kylie Ireland movie or one of our office parties. … OK. So we’ve never really killed anyone at an office party, but we did see what transpires when someone gives Kylie “artistic control” of certain parts of a movie, and then asks her to direct as well. … She ends up casting herself as the bride … and then that other stuff we just talked about happens. We call it A White (Trash) Wedding, because that’s the way we are. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

A Bride Walks Into This Bar ...
6/3/10

What could possibly possess someone to travel to the middle of the some Fates-Forsaken desert in 100-degree heat? OK. So thirteen beautiful porn stars hanging around a swimming pool wearing itty-bitty bikinis might do it. … But not much else could, right? … Fortunately for us, we’re going with the thirteen beautiful porn stars scenario, and today we’re letting you in a little bit about how this all came about. We’re also packing sun screen and looking up on the internet how to fake sunstroke. Do you think porn stars give mouth-to-mouth if you have sunstroke? How about a hurt leg? … We can limp. [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Belladonna Video, Stormy Daniels Video, Exclusive Video]

Monique Alexander. We feel faint.

May 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/30/10 Can you look back at any particular group of days in your life and think, “You know, that was really, really good … “? We assume that almost all of us can do that, and if you can’t, well we’re sincerely very sorry for you. That said, you should really get about setting up one of those times for yourself, and we’ve helpfully provided some suggestions here today. Just as a hint: It helps if you can bring along a few beautiful porn stars. Having someone else foot the bill turns out to be important too. Things definitely don’t go better with broke. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Lola, Doria, Heather Hunter, Lexus Locklear]
See? If you end up in jail, you should take Lexus Locklear with you.
5/28/10 Advertising Campaigns don’t usually set themselves up as themes in our little Risqué Commune world, but they do seem rather prevalent around here over the past month or so. Consequently, when we decided to keep plodding though all the Dee at KSEX Coverage, the slight (but ever-so-beautiful) bonus at the conclusion became interestingly appropriate. Also, assuming things go according to plan, we’ve now set the stage for a more significant Advertising Campaign Contribution in the future. Of course according to plan always seems to be the wild card around here. One thing about it, our lives are never boring. [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Kinzie Kenner, Lexie L’Amour, Stella]
Dee Campaigning of a Different Sort
5/23/10 If you’ll pardon the potentially politically incorrect influence for a moment, we’ll tell you that although we’ve shown all manner of “chicks” around here, this might be the first time we’ve actually shown you chickens. And what, you might wonder, do chickens have to do with Maverick’s observations (and various levels of stalking) with Days 3 & 4 of the most recent AEE? Well, we would tell you, should we deign to answer such a reasonable question, not so much really. On the other hand in this case they do work as a metaphor for the condition that arises when you take a boy out of his normal element and he seeks to commune with nature. Being potentially politically incorrect can be pretty deep it seems. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Lexi Love, Tori Black, Nyomi Banxxx, Gina Lynn, Nina Hartley, Bree Olsen, Sasha Grey, Jana Jordan, Belladonna, Sunny Lane, Kaylani Lei, Kayden Kross, Monique Alexander, Alexis Texas, Raven Alexis, Sunset Thomas, Shauna Sand, Kelli McCarty, Sunny Leone, AJ Bailey, Riley Steele, Julia Ann, Raylene, Teagan Presley, Exclusive Video]
It's a chicken. Did you think we were kidding?
5/20/10 I wanted to call this “Cytherea Flies Solo Anew” but D.Minion said that would be overly erudite. (Yeah, she talks like that.) Of course “anew” she wouldn’t go for it. … Now how’s that for not overly erudite? … We should probably get to the story. It’s always a bit scary when we start making editorial comments before the author even gets a chance to start the actual article about which we sit posed to comment. … Hmm. Maybe we can be overly erudite. … Ah, well, Too erudite is human. To eschew sublime.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Exclusive Video ]
Cytherea Preparing for Take-Off
5/14/10 Confounded you may be by the conceptual alliteration levied today, although you should find it fairly easy to ignore the intrusion into a part of your brain you weren’t seeking to stretch at this time. It’s the latest in the Shayla scenario, and that fairly well covers all the important part. Should you feel particularly erudite, you may also enjoy D.Minion’s Intelligence Quotient contribution, although we’ll tell you right up front that if you happen to be an English Major who grew up on a farm, it will enhance the likelihood of your success.  [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Brynn Tyler Video]
Lovin' Ms. LaVeaux
5/10/10 Quick to correct a cultural error, we are. And talk like Yoda, we might. On the other hand, in case you’re curious, we also understand The Trouble with Tribbles. Of course that doesn’t do much to explain the rather festive lesbian liaison we have on tap today between Paola Rey and Marlie Moore, but how much explaining does that really need anyway. Heck it’s probably in the part you just skip over anyway. For what it’s worth, we’d advise against that, honestly. “Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will.”  [FEATURED TAGS: Paola Rey, Marlie Moore]
Paola and Marlie, Pre Festivities
5/8/10 Have you ever seriously considered doing something just because it sounds fun, even if pure logic would probably recommend against the idea? And then have you ever considered that this illogical idea probably sounds “fun” just because it will involve regular interaction with a spectacularly sexy woman? And have you cared? … Well, we’re big fans of sexy women around here, and although we haven’t quite “decided’ what precisely we’re going to do, odds seem good that you’ll enjoy the thought process here. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Kimberly Kane, Madison Scott, Erica McLean]
More Spectacular in its Larger Version
5/5/10 Naturally we celebrate Cinco de Mayo every year around here. We’re deep believers in the benefits of cross-cultural understanding, the recognition of world history, and the progressive evolution that marks the ongoing transcendence of the human spirit as it seeks its peaceful nirvana. Also, we pretty much go for anything that includes a party with tequila and guacamole dip. Now our newest risqué office member put together the post for today, and we’ll freely admit that he may have missed the entirely accurate mark. Just as soon as we recover from the cerveza tomorrow we’re going to do a little bit of explaining to him too. Still, what we lack in technical accuracy we more than make up for in raucous conviviality. [FEATURED TAGS: Jessi Palmer Video]
Jessi Palmer Adding to the Fiesta
5/2/10 Porn Stars can actually teach us a lot. Now we’d be the first to admit that not everything they can teach us will turn out to be extraordinarily valuable on a regular basis, but any artisan can tell you that a lot of truly fine work in the world starts with simply possessing the right tools for the job. And let’s face it: Who can really tell us better how to handle uncomfortable questions or situations than a Porn Star? And given Dee’s attire during the contribution today, we’re reasonably certain you won’t care if you ever have a reason to put any of the more erudite recommendations to use anyway.  [FEATURED TAGS: Dee]
Not a Typical Teacher

April 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/10

Quite a few NFL rookie training camps opened today, as we’re certain each of you knows, since listening to anything at all that concerns either upcoming primary elections or whatever the government in Washington D.C. – and which political party thinks the other one has been taken over by morons – has long since ceased being interesting. Well, in Denver (in case you missed this vital information) they had a whopping 32 new team members present for this first day of workouts. And they had 47 members of the press in attendance to document all the vital information stemming from the day. They do like their Broncos in Colorado. … And speaking of Colorado, we have some news of our own regarding the beautiful state, and a bit of its homegrown beauty, actually. Sometimes in life, being a “Mile High” just makes a lot of sense.  [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]

Colorado Presents and Presence
4/28/10

Considering it has been quite difficult as of late to get a plane ride out of London, it’s probably a good thing that Maverick can find fun things to do within the city. We wondered why he’d stop right in the middle of his AEE Epic to do something else on 247AdultStars, and then we saw the photos and video clips. Apparently the volcanic ash has not affected Mav’s mental capicity (yet). Also, his decision has the added benefit of giving us a moment to talk about fashion shows over there in the land of Bangers and Mash. If you’re in a hurry, you might just skip to Syren; you can reflect upon fashion statements at a later date. (But you’re going to miss all the funny stuff.) [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Syren Sexton Video, Exclusive Video]

A Very Clean Syren
4/25/10

You love Fun Facts, right? … So Yahoo, clearly one of the better-known Internet Giants has been running a very simple poll that only had one question in it: “Are you in favor of the Health Care Reform Bill?” And NFL.com, presumably not nearly such a major player in the virtual world, has been running a rather more complicated poll, theoretically attempting to determine “The Top 75 Draft Picks of All Time.” (This wording sounds a bit like we could vote for Charleton Heston in Ben Hur, but it could just be that “Time” didn’t really start until the 1960’s.) … Now as of last Friday, slightly over 39 thousand people had voted on the Yahoo poll, and somewhere over 45 million people had voted on the Pro Football question. We’re not going to try to draw any conclusions for you from that little tidbit of information, but we will tell you that Michael Ninn did not cast a vote in either arena, because he’s been rather busy being all artistic and such. Risqué members get to see how, assuming they’re not trying to remember whom the Broncos drafted in 1967. (Floyd Little, just so you know.) [FEATURED TAGS: Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Georgia Jones, Monique Alexander, Jana Jordan, Michael Ninn]

Visit Michael at IGirlPortal.com
4/21/10

Clearly almost everyone finds themselves now camped in front of ESPN, waiting breathlessly for the NFL Draft to begin tomorrow. For some odd reason a few of the office people here think that it being Earth Day might be of more significance, but those people are obviously disturbed. … On the off chance that you have a computer near your television, we’re filling you in a bit more with “Knowing Cytherea” — the modern version. We’ve got a lot of the demonstrably liquid lass in the queue these days, and not one of us feels any problem with this. Apparently Cy’s a lot less controversial than the more vital Football vs. Ecosystem debate. It’s all about priorities in life. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea AND the Ecosystem. Excellent.
4/15/10

Tax Day may seem like an odd day to tell a Love Story, but if you think about it, Love generally has no rhyme or reason, and besides most of us love it when we finally put the tax junk away for another year. Of course to get to the Love Story, you might have to meander through another day of nudity and fun with Dee at KSEX, but we do what we must (as this day reminds us every year). Oh, and if meandering with a naked Dee doesn’t interest you, well, then you’ve clearly been looking at depressing numbers for too long. Have a nice glass of warm milk and come back tomorrow. We’ll still be here.  [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Annie Cruz]

Annie and Dee, Probably Not Thinking About Taxes
4/12/10

Goodness but we have philosophy for you today. Of course when D.Minion goes on set and gets to spend time with a friend she hasn’t seen in a few years, that tends to happen. At least this time we forced her to break the experience up into four parts, so you have some at least minimal chance of getting all the way through her barely 1,800 words. If you’d rather just jump to the photographs and BTS video, naturally, you can do that as always. Of course you’ll need to come up with your own philosophies regarding Cytherea and her new attitude. Opinion around here seems to be that her new boobs speak for themselves. Boobs do that.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video]

Cleavage in the Conversation
4/9/10

Some surprises in life are better than others. OK. So some surprises in life can really basically suck, but today’s “hint” of a surprise doesn’t suck at all. … Oh. Yes she does, come to think of it. But that’s not always bad, even as surprises go. And this doesn’t even technically qualify as the “big” surprise, but it does explain why we’ve been as busy as we have. Actually, maybe you’d better just see for yourselves. That might be best.  [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Chasey Lain Video, Phoenix Ray Video]

Shayla. Now We Need an Uncharted Desert Isle.
4/1/10

Today we celebrate Fools (with a capital “F” ). Or maybe we’re supposed to fool them (with a small “f” ). Or maybe it’s just a day for us to excuse every mean thing we do with “April Fool’s” , like that justifies anything. Now it probably makes as much sense as being able to pinch somebody just because they don’t happen to be wearing the proper colors some days, or letting young children gorge themselves on candy because it’s good for them that one day. … Come to think of it, we have some weird holidays. … Sticking to today for the sake of brevity, then, if a woman chooses not to promote herself as a Penthouse Pet on some days because she has to attend a prom or graduation with her boyfriend, and the company gets really mad about that, which of them is the greater Fool? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video, Exclusive Video]

Tenaya on Fools and Other Foibles

October 2009 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/09

A grand thing about operating an adult web site comes up on this particular date every year. You see, we don’t have much trouble coming up with celebratory treats; in fact, we rather enjoy it. (And if you’re wondering we certainly don’t know anything about anyone turning tricks, because that would be wrong after all.) So when Maverick had an idea this year, and the idea included Juli Ashton, well, it sounded like an excellent plan. The supporting cast of Madison and Mackenzie seemed willing, and we got an excuse to flavor the event (so to speak) with Capri Anderson again — always a good time. So how far off track could this go? Yeah, well, it seems like maybe holidays are different in Europe. Still, it’s another festive day in our strange lives. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Capri Anderson, Mackenzie Pierce, Madison Scott]

Tricky Treats, Truth be Told
10/28/09

You don’t need to spend much time with the Members Section before you figure out that things tend to go in waves around here for some reason. (The writer had originally termed this going “in spurts” when he submitted the project, but upon proofing the text that seemed like maybe a poor way to describe something on an adult site — at least for a post that only has women in it.) We’ve been doing a good bit of Dee lately (not the fun way that sounds, sadly, though), but for whatever reason the stories have all been the “hanging around in life” sorts and not the “dressed up (or not) for work as a porn star” sorts. At the risk of too much Dee, we decided to go ahead with a collection of those “gussied-up” shots this time around. We do want to note, however, that while “too much Dee” didn’t seem like much of a real risk, the set we had in the queue happened to be of Dee with Georgia Adair, so you’ll need to steel yourself for that complication should you decide to proceed. … Have you ever noticed that it can be difficult to say anything at all around here without a double entendre?  [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Georgia Adair]

Dee and Georgia might be discussing shoes. Maybe.
10/26/09

Odds seem pretty good that most of you didn’t spend the weekend explaining to co-workers that a bye week in the NFL does not mean that a team takes a week off so that the players can spend a romantic weekend away together. Sigh. … Less complicated to understand, apparently, would be another installment of Dee at KSEX, although this time we’re throwing in a bonus segment of Dee in more traditional aspects of everyday life — nurturing a new puppy, demonstrating why it’s good to keep the water circulating in your swimming pool, and bopping naked around the office. Just like life at your place, right? [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Candy Apples]

Dee wearing a bathing suit in the office, more or less.
10/22/09

Age turns out to be one of those things that just remains difficult to wrap your head around. As the football savvy in the office kept trying to explain how young (the Denver Broncos new) coach Josh McDaniels happens to be to D.Minion, she just didn’t seem to really comprehend the concept. “He’s seven years younger than Julia Ann,” we explained, and then our fair Minion understood. Both DM and Lon attended Julia’s Party for 40 (years, not people) and since then D.Minion has been sleeping and Lon has been smiling. Maybe it’s a testosterone thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Kristal Summers, Jessica Drake, Devinn Lane]

Julia Ann, with a Message in there somewhere
10/19/09

As a public service to those of you out there that may be Buccaneers, or Rams, or (Heaven Forbid) Tennessee Titans fans, and thus may not want to think about football too much today, we thought we’d give you a nice long typical “D.Minion on Set with the Allegedly Innocent” exercise. For those of us from Denver that follow football (and that’s pretty much a law out there) we can be comfortable knowing that all these wonderful naked women working in the adult movie business will be here for us to look at tomorrow. And we can hope San Diego loses the game tonight. [FEATURED TAGS: Sarah Blake, Wanda Curtis, Tiffany Tyler, Randy Wright, Felix Vicious, Kelly Klein Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]

Evan Stone on set. Not the best photograph taken on this day.
10/16/09

Had we known Maverick were so quickly going to pick up on our “Pretty in Pink” reference this week, we’d have talked about a much better movie over all — even though porn and pink do seem to go together delightfully. That said, you might enjoy his next Syren Sexton episode, and consider how weird this all might have turned out if we’d started out talking about The Princess Bride. People would be wandering around saying “Anybody want a peanut?” [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Syren Sexton Video, Exclusive Video]

Syren - Even Pretty without a Peanut
10/12/09

For some people, talking the talk and walking the walk seem to be disjointed concepts at best. Actually, when it comes to sex, people generally don’t talk the talk at all, and most of us would probably remain happier if we didn’t really know how “well” we walk the walk. Normal people aside, though, Jana Jordan seems to be able to both quite well, with the predictable results we’re guessing. As confusing as most of life can be, we thought it a fine time to display some consistency. … Present company excepted, naturally, we will note that consistency isn’t a virtue if you suck. (Somebody should mention that to the Oakland Raiders and the St. Louis Rams, don’t you agree?) [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Exclusive Video]

Jana ... with a Sign Language of Sorts
10/10/09

It seemed logical that after showing off some Pretty in Pink we ought reasonably demonstrate a Beautiful in Blue segment. After all, we’re nothing around here if not colorful. True, you might be able to find those that would characterize our approach as more dubious and erratic than colorful, but some people tend toward the very narrow-minded. Have you noticed? Besides, have you ever tried to find whimsy in even a very impressive black and white image? You can find drama, certainly, but fun requires a full spectrum view, which we clearly provide around here. And we needn’t exactly tell you who’s on tap to titillate today, we just have to say that we have Georgia on our Mind, and we’re not even thinking about Willie Nelson. Works for us. It probably will for you too. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair]

Georgia Adair - When Honey Gets Blue
10/7/09

Two Interns actually showed up to work most of the summer this year, but sadly they’ve both now had to return to school, presumably to learn how to do much more important things than we do around here. Were we better people, we’d take this opportunity to wish them well, thank them for their efforts, and assure them that we’d keep a spot open for them next year, due (no doubt) to their sterling character and exceptional skills. Now while all of that certainly qualifies as true, we are not “better people” per se, so we’re just jumping in with Juli, Kristal, and Dee — and demonstrating definitively what book-learning can cost one. Life’s full of lessons, isn’t it? [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Dee, Kristal Summers]

Dee, Juli, and Kristal - pretty in pink
10/3/09

Did you hear the one about the newlyweds that forgot the difference between vaseline and putty? … Their windows fell out. … That old joke, much like all of life, really comes down to one’s perspective and how you approach any situation. If you want to know the truth, that single issue really helps keep the site fun to work on, and the people in the adult industry a unique pleasure to experience. Also, having spent some significant time last month visiting with an old friend, it seemed a good time to introduce everyone to a new one. Hey, if you can’t have deep meaning in your life, at least strive for symmetry. That’s always nice. [FEATURED TAGS: Reagan Conner Audio, Exclusive Audio]

Reagan Conner with a different Sage Wisdom fellow.