Filed Under: Jennifer Dark

Purely Feminine Fatale

Where There’s a Wile There’s a Wary by Nobody Special In rather atypical fashion the folks around here have been trying to keep me focused a bit. The story (as we observed it only, naturally) of the “Jana – Georgia – Faye” progression seems particularly fascinating to the newer people in the office, but maybe […]

December 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


As near as we can tell, today happens to be New Year’s eve, and most places around the world happen to celebrate the new year with substantially more vigor and glee than they do any of those gift-giving holidays. Of course the vast majority of the world has at least a culture, but often an entire political system, that stems in no small degree from religious persecution, so maybe that makes sense. After all, it seems very wise to focus more on a day of the year you won’t get shot for celebrating, right? For our part, we have decided to stick to our roots as well. What they lack in historic violence and upheaval, they more than make up for in fun and nudity. This doesn’t set the bar very high, we understand, but as a rule we tend to prefer simple goals. (You members may have noticed.) And if D.Minion happens to discover our camouflaged secret, well, we plan on employing the exact same New Year’s Resolution we enjoy every year: Blame Maverick for everything. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video]

Georgia Adair Preparing to Get Wild

People do sometimes contribute to their own “Birthday Party” as Shayla has decided to do so today. True to at least our form, she chose to celebrate “Holliday” over the Holidays, and offers up some insights as to what it’s like being in the middle of 30 or 40 women all having sex together. Sadly, none of us here can really comment on this experience first-hand, but we do have a great many folks willing to learn. We value education, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Serenity Video, Juli Ashton Video, Nina Hartley Video, Shawna Lenee] 

Nice Day for White Bedding

So did you sleep with thoughts of Sugar-Plums dancing through your head? Have you ever done that in your whole life? Would you even know a Sugar-Plum if it jumped out of the closet and bit you? And when is the last time you heard anyone exclaim, “My! What a clatter!” anyway? The fact that people around here spend time pondering such weighty issues serves as the only excuse I can think of for this Merry Christmas … um … Members’ Card. I worry about us sometimes. I really do. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]

COWards We Are Not

You may not find it intuitive, but the adult movie industry happens to display a great deal of holiday cheer among its members. Of course you can’t really have a properly caroling environment without Ebenezer Scrooge, and thus we speak today with sincere affection for our friend Gregory Dark. True, we have chosen to do so with the able assistance of Juli Ashton, Kelly O’Dell, Felecia, and Serenity, but in our defense we claimed to be festive — not foolish. Why listen to some old fat guy that’s not planning on dropping down any chimneys tonight when you fill your silent nights with young ladies clearly coming about midnight? … There are way too many seasonal songs to consider. We’d best stop now. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Kelly O’Dell Video, Felecia Video, Serenity Video]

Kelly. Do we hear what she hears?

This is the time of year where we all get a little nostalgic; we all feel a little more optimistic, a little more peaceful. Benevolent tendencies, long hidden throughout the year, come closer to the surface, and we allow ourselves to pause a few more times during the day, just to feel a part of Mother Earth. … Or if you happen to be like us, you praise Rednecks everywhere, and wonder why everyone doesn’t celebrate the way we do. You forgive them, however, because let’s face it: If you go around saying everything you really think, no one is ever going to give you a gift — at least not one you’ll want to receive. [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Georgia Adair, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn, Bree Olsen Video, Sunny Leone Video] 

Anais - Worth Receiving, Given the Chance

We all know ‘Tis the Season of Giving, but let’s be honest, it’s pretty fun to get new things too. And with any luck they won’t be the sorts of things that will live in a closet until next year when we can give them again. In a typically benevolent re-gifting game, then, we have decided to offer up some holiday gift suggestions before we shuttle everyone off to enjoy Cytherea playing fauna amongst the flora. D.Minion “naturally” adds her special touch, although DM can be a lot like a gift from a distant relative: You honestly appreciate it, but you’re just not quite sure how to explain it to anyone. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Barely Concealed Reverence

Rarely do we link directly to — preferring rather to heighten anticipation, sweeten the experience, and generally make it more pleasantly pithy. … It’s either that or we pretty much like any excuse to show off more naked women. Theories may vary. All of this goes by the wayside this season, however, as Dear Maverick, being from London and thus used to a depressing Christmas season until the very last minute, has seen fit to visit a few ghosts on a couple of Brit Porn Stars and convince them to film a special holiday greeting for the members. You know what? … God Bless Us, Every One[FEATURED TAGS: Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video,]

Tanya Cox - No Tease Involved

Contrary to D.Minion’s contention in the office, after making egg nog, they do not in fact use the rest of the animal to create Naugahyde seat covers. We try to be helpful with our insights here, just so no one gets confused as they go through life. You might consider, then, taking D.Minion’s view of Day Two of Ninn Worx’ House of Jordan shoot with a grain of salt — if not an entire spice rack. None of this detracts, however, from the 241 stellar photographs. … And how do we know these to be stellar photographs? Why all these women are stars, of course. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Carli Banks, Michael Ninn]

This Little Light of Mine

You know those kind of “entertainment” things where folks get really sort of devious and sneak in little bits and pieces that presumably will teach us something? Sure, they couch it all in some general “Oh, my goodness, but this is a lot of fun!” sort of way, but it always sort of sounds like Tom Sawyer and that fence painting job? … You will be happy to know that for our part we are simply celebrating Chasey Lain’s birthday today, and if anyone learns anything, well, dang that ain’t our fault. How can porno be educational anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Chasey Lain, Alexis DeVell, Shayla LaVeaux, Kaylan Nicole, Jewel, Emma Nixon]

Chasy Lain Would Make an Excellent Teacher, Though

We’ve heard a horrible rumor that some places out there have to deal with this bizarre phenomenon called “snow” — which basically sounds like a euphemism for “frozen water that can make life hell” if you want to know the truth. Having seen pictures of it on the news, we can tell you: It looks icky. We did want you to know, however, that we do have how own version of Snow out here, though, although admittedly ours happens to be of the “Aurora Snow” variety. … So you know what we call our Northern Lights? … Yep! … Aurora Areolas. (Sorry. We blame the cold — wherever it may be.) [FEATURED TAGS: Aurora Snow, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Phoenix Ray, Jessica Drake]

Shayla Demonstrates Our Version of the Full Moon

Anyone can do an interview, but very, very few people can do a “Ninnterview” as you’ll see easily. Also, anyone can crash a wedding, but only Cytherea can do it … well … like Cytherea does. And if these two quick introductions don’t make you want to see what’s on tap for today, then perhaps you should make an appointment with your family physician. You don’t feel well. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Brea Bennett Video, Jana Jordan Video, Renee Perez Video, Cassidey Video, Nikki Kane Video, Jennifer Dark, Alexis Love, Michael Ninn]

Cytherea - Overdressed for Crashing

June 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


You know how comfortable old friends can be? When they happen to look like Shayla LaVeaux, and they happen to have Shayla’s decided openness about nudity in general, well, they make darn good house guests too. Of course Shayla happens to be much more than a pretty face, and she has some dandy ideas about excellent travel arrangements, as we learn today. She’s even gotten into the spirit of our liaison with our British bud Maverick, although we’d be willing to bet she’s going to win the flirting contest with pretty much anyone named “Lexi” that you’re likely to run across. As long as we get to watch, though, we don’t really care who wins. (Hey, sorry about that Mav.) [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Phoenix Ray, Evan Stone]

Shayla with Phoenix Ray, Sadly not at Our House

Oops! We’ve mentioned this before, but we really hold to the opinion that you should never let the boss at your place of employment actually do any important work. It’s just going to get messed up, either because they haven’t done this particular task for years, or (in a technology field like ours) they may well have never known how to do it in the first place. Consequently we’re putting up the picture set courtesy of Michael Ninn’s wonderful skills at still photography today, that actually should have gone with the story a couple of days ago. We suppose it’s nice that somebody noticed, and we do appreciate all those (occasionally annoying) “silver lining” people around here, but for their benefit, we felt obliged to close with this little bit of wisdom we’ve acquired over the years: When you wake up seemingly stuck in life’s same ol’ thing circle, you should never forget that not everyone who shows up is there to help you. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Jana Cova, Georgia Jones, Faye Reagan, Karlie Montana, Jennifer Dark, Michael Ninn]

The Breast We Can Do

Here’s something we learned this week: Hockey introduced the first testicular guard, the Cup, in 1874. The first helmet showed up in use in 1974. Consequently, this means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. That kind of adds a little perspective to evolution, doesn’t it? Speaking of evolution, that concept as it pertains to the personal relationships of porn stars actually mirrors the lives of the rest of us mere mortals more than you might think. Theoretically we’re continuing our analysis of the issue, this time benefited by “The Janas – Jordan and Cova” – not so much because they’re vital to the illustration as because they’re just really darned beautiful. One needs standards in life. And one needs to be able to define the logic behind those standards as one sees fit. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Cova Video, Jana Jordan Video, Michael Ninn]

A Leg Up on the Competition ... (sorry)

Most of us really hate doing something over again. Of course most of the time we don’t have Wendy Divine offering up some very good reasons to do so. We won’t belabor a rather mundane web coding point here, but if you want to read about how this all came about you can certainly do so. Of course if you just want to see the 225 rather impressive pictures of Wendy enjoying herself with Nick Manning, well that’s fine too. For what it’s worth, Nick seemed to be doing certain things over and over again, and he seemed fine with the concept. It’s really wonderful to make Wendy smile, actually. That’s probably what Nick was after. [FEATURED TAGS: Wendy Divine, Nick Manning]

Waiting with Wendy, and Worth the Wait

Do you want to start an interesting conversation tonight? As you’re sitting down with your Significant Other to eat dinner, just try out this sentence and see where the conversation takes you: “So, if you had a clone, and I had sex with the clone, would that be cheating, since the clone is by definition an exact copy of you?” … OR … If you prefer to actually eat your food, as compared to wearing it, you might talk about the wonderful insights on Georgia Jones that you derived from the Members’ Area today. … OR … Maybe not. … This all comes down to how understanding your Significant Other happens to be, and doesn’t that just about sum up life perfectly? [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Jones Video, Michael Ninn]

And Then Along Came Jones

Apparently at least the East Coast newspapers haven’t learned a whole lot in the last 230+ years. It wasn’t exactly Bunker Hill, but when U.S. and England tied in a soccer match yesterday, the coverage in that part of the country celebrated like we’d actually won the contest. Fortunately we devote absolutely no time whatsoever trying to figure out why that might be as we instead delve into the “Bonus Evolution” of our own special Brit. … Seriously, we’re probably way too American to understand why people seem to get this excited about the World Cup anyway. It’s not like they’re playing football or anything. [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247, AVN Awards, AEE, Faye Reagan, Sasha Grey, Lexi Love, Exclusive Video]

Mystery Women in Repose

Brandy. What a fine girl. In fact, what a good wife she would be. But D.Minion’s life, her love, her lady, is Marie. … Some days are just like this around here, and while we could apologize for the occasional pun and references to very old songs, it wouldn’t make them any less painful. Members have learned to either forgive or ignore us; we’ve never been quite sure which. … And if other adult sites don’t work in this fashion, well, We pity the fools. [FEATURED TAGS: Brandy]

A fine girl by any other name ...

If you look around and you notice a bride having sex with the groom and a priest in one room, and a couple of basically naked women cutting the heart out of a guy in another room, you’re either at a Kylie Ireland movie or one of our office parties. … OK. So we’ve never really killed anyone at an office party, but we did see what transpires when someone gives Kylie “artistic control” of certain parts of a movie, and then asks her to direct as well. … She ends up casting herself as the bride … and then that other stuff we just talked about happens. We call it A White (Trash) Wedding, because that’s the way we are. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

A Bride Walks Into This Bar ...

What could possibly possess someone to travel to the middle of the some Fates-Forsaken desert in 100-degree heat? OK. So thirteen beautiful porn stars hanging around a swimming pool wearing itty-bitty bikinis might do it. … But not much else could, right? … Fortunately for us, we’re going with the thirteen beautiful porn stars scenario, and today we’re letting you in a little bit about how this all came about. We’re also packing sun screen and looking up on the internet how to fake sunstroke. Do you think porn stars give mouth-to-mouth if you have sunstroke? How about a hurt leg? … We can limp. [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Belladonna Video, Stormy Daniels Video, Exclusive Video]

Monique Alexander. We feel faint.

July 2007 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Sometimes you just need to look at something from a different perspective to recognize the obvious. Of course usually the new “angle” on everything also brings its own myriad of confusion, but if you try to boil it down to its essence, the situation often becomes more clear. Then you can add in a little scientific analysis and that might help, and you might even consider a dash of philosophy or even a metaphysical conceit or two if you’re really brave. Very soon everything will just look even more complicated than it was before started trying to look at it clearly and so you just wing it and hope for the best. That’s what we do. It may not work all of the time, but it makes for a nice way to go through life. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Lena Nicole, Renna Ryann, Sophia Lynn, Exclusive Video]

See how a computer monitor with a pretty woman on it is like life?

We’ve been working madly way behind the scenes here, and there’s a big announcement on the horizon. Oddly enough, it’s not nearly as distant a horizon as many we’ve foretold around here, so that’s nice. Maverick’s also chiming in today about what he’s going to be doing, which doesn’t help all that much, but he’s also got an exclusive “view” (and we mean that literally) of a famous British porn star named Sandie. Odd, but we still think of the Olivia Newton John character in Grease when we hear that name. … Hmm. We probably shouldn’t admit that, right? … Oh, and incidentally, we have no idea why Maverick takes pictures of upside down naked women, and we really didn’t want to ask. [FEATURED TAGS: Sandie Caine, Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Alana Langford, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Carli Banks, Marlie Moore, Michael Ninn, Maverick]

Sandie Caine (and we didn't make that up)

What could be better than “Dee Penetrated” you may wonder. Well, apparently it could be Dee Exposed, because … well, you’ll have to read about it if you really care. Dee herself didn’t seem to mind whatever title we used, as she was just along for the ride … so to speak. Another thing that’s really, really good is a fresh bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich when the bacon is hot and thick-sliced, and the tomatoes are vine-ripened, but honestly we can only give you D.Minion’s account of our Delectable Dee today. You’ll have to make your own lunch. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]

Dee ... probably ordering a sandwich.

It could be that a little bit of thinking goes a long way when you’re talking about your basic porn site. Of course our goal has never been to BE “your basic porn site” so you would think that we could think – and you’d then think that our thinking made you think. Which might not be as helpful as you might have thought it was going to be, truth be told. We’d tell you what we think about this, but we’ve clearly done more than enough thinking to last us for quite some time. Don’t you think? [FEATURED TAGS: Vanessa Hill Video, Electra Angel Video, Linda Shane Video, Kenzie Ryan Video, Laura Capri Video, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video]

Eyes on the Master

Most of the time we choose to be a little more forthcoming out here on the free side, but every once in awhile it suits one to be a little more circuitous in our approach. That’s OK. If we tell you we have some “secret stuff” to talk about (and show off) today, and then we tell you what it is … well, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore, now would it? Sometimes the simple approach works best, which happens to be another lesson we hope to demonstrate. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Juli Ashton Video, Michael Ninn, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]

Julia Ann ... touching, isn't she?

Well, we made it through the post, but it was a weird one. Of course we can say that almost all of the time, so maybe that doesn’t mean much. Still, not all of the posts are about Erotica Los Angeles, 2007 so that’s one difference. And at first blush while all of these conventions seem pretty much the same (especially to those of us that have been to 50+ of them) they all have their own … um … uniqueness, let’s call it. Of course there seemed to be surprisingly little blushing on the show floor this year, well except from Lon and D.Minion while they were smothered on a bed by Julia Ann’s breasts right in the middle of the crowd on Saturday. Well, maybe you’ll have to read about it. Some things are too weird even for us to explain. [FEATURED TAGS: Erotica LA, Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Julia Ann, Lon]

Stormy Daniels, decidely NOT in a Polaroid photograph.

We’re putting on an “Innocent” front today, at least while we’re putting the final touches on the Lon/D.Minion story of Erotica LA this year. We haven’t heard from his doctors but last we saw Lon he was still gasping from rolling around on the bed with Julia Ann – which seems perfectly understandable if you think about it. So you can take a moment to ponder how this might have come about in the first place, and then you can try to figure out how these two words go together Innocence: Rebel. We figure it’s only in the world of Michael Ninn, but that’s always an OK place to be, so we’re just going to go with it. We’ve seen the pictures, though, and while “rebellious” might come to mind, we didn’t get many “innocent” vibes here. Naturally, of course, we consider this to be a very good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Alana Langford, Presley Maddox, Lena Nicole, Amber Rayne, Denice K., Jennifer Dark, Michael Ninn]

Presley Maddox being more rebellious than not.