Remember when the “Little Monsters” visiting us this evening just meant there were a bunch of small people in costume going door to door obtaining free candy under threat of dirty deeds? Now, according to some of the … let’s go with less aged … among our office staff, a “Little Monster” might mean simply that the individual in question happens to be a fan of Lady Gaga. When did that happen? We missed the memo. … If you want to have some fun tonight, when the beggars come ringing your doorbell with their already sugar-filled bags thrust forward, choose “Trick!” and see what happens. If you can’t educate the young, what fun is life anyway? … Of course if you’d rather have an altogether different kind of fun tonight, just give ’em the candy so you can get back to our “Gothic Cheerleader” courtesy of Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]

Certainly most of us would come to the aid of a Damsel in Distress — at least one would hope. Yet what percentage of us would take the time to explain Distress in Damsels when at the end of the written explanation comes Monique Alexander and Tori Black? … See? Don’t you just hate those philosophical puzzles? … Fortunately there will be no test today. Truthfully you don’t even need to pay attention to all the pesky words in the way of the beautiful women (although please don’t tell the copywriters because they’re very sensitive). And since we are being honest, we should mention that we find it pretty hard to imagine either Monique or Tori being in “distress” for very long. Right? [FEATURED TAGS: Monique Alexander Video, Tori Black Video, Michael Ninn]

Theoretically, taking “the road less travelled” will make all the difference. Of course, have you ever noticed that no one ever mentions whether or not that difference will turn out to be a good thing? Life comes down to a matter of defining your perspective and then setting priorities; it’s really not any more complicated than that. For our part, we always seem to choose the path filled with naked women. They’re probably more philosophical or something. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Tasha Reign, Sarah Vandella, Kagney Linn Karter, Alexis Texas, Michael Ninn]

All things considered, we have a pretty good life around here. Granted the abundance of beautiful naked women around does tend to slant the playing field in our favor, but we have deeply spiritual — metaphysically philosophical, even — reasons to be grateful for our lot in life. Well, at least we plan on having those, just as soon as the beautiful naked women stop working as sole justification. Hey, without a plan, how can you tell when you’ve fallen horribly short? … And the plan for today? Georgia Adair and Dee, beautiful and naked as you likely expected. Honestly, adding enough deeply spiritual and metaphysical philosophy, it adds a whole new interpretation to the concept of the NFL “bye” week.  [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Dee Video, Georgia Adair Video, Michael Ninn]

For a long time now, we’ve been planning to celebrate the release of the next Michael Ninn movie we can talk about and show off with the last Michael Ninn movies (we could talk about and show off) — these happening right before new Ninn Worx management felt “uncomfortable” with our presence. Consequently, on the precipice of some very select customers in the U.S. being able to obtain a copy of Michael’s The Four, we bring you for the first time D.Minion’s observations of the first day of House of Jordan. We’ve entitled this episode “Who Let the Dogs Out?” — which will make a lot more sense once you read it. … OK. So that may not be entirely true. … It will make as much sense as we usually make. There. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Marlie Moore, Alana Langford, Michael Ninn]