Filed Under: Charlie Lane

May 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/29/14	In all probability Jassie will not be appearing out of the blue to give you a blow job today. She probably won’t appear out of the aquamarine or fuchsia either, so you might need a different coloring book all the way around. On the other hand, if one hangs with Jassie, one can never be quite sure what may happen. She’s an exceptional lass, that Jassie. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jassie Video, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]
5/26/14	Happy Birthday to Kylie, both sexy and wily. When she strips down naked, it makes us all smiley. … OK. So it’s not exactly The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but you have to agree that it’s a lot easier to read. Also, despite his literary prowess, Mr. Coleridge never had lesbian sex with Ashlyn Rae. Well, you know, he was a dude. … Kylie wins again! [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Rae Video]
5/23/14	Few people on the planet understand network television as well as our own D.Minion. This seems odd to us, because as a rule people do not tend to study things whose primary function seems to be one of causing irritation. Of course weave in the captivating beam of London Keyes, and even the ChickaDees cannot stay sad. Put London in a school uniform, and … well … we just give them all some private time. But we share … [STAR TAGS: London Keyes Video]
5/20/14	An ever-vigilant and thoughtful new member pointed out four missing large images in a post from clear back in 2006. Granted, Heather Vuur does not show any signs of ever becoming “old news” or anything — particularly around here — but we did want to show our appreciation for the effort taken to write in and point out the errors (quite politely, we should add). Obviously we could have simply fixed the four links on the photos, which we did — to cover ourselves whenever someone else goes back there — but then we got to thinking. … OK. So sometimes that can be scary, but sometimes it can also result is wonderful new larger renditions of the photos, along with typically stunning video of Jassie, Brooke, AND Heather Vuur this time. Fans pay attention. Everybody wins! [STAR TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Jassie Video, Brooke Banner Video, Michael Ninn]
5/18/14	Despite a significant amount of technical prowess in these offices, we have as yet been unable to figure out how to use Parental Lock to keep the DVR from filling up with unwatched episodes of “Too Cute” on Animal Planet. Of course D.Minion has her own ways … as some of learned painfully this week. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Chayse Manhattan Video, Misty Rain Video, Leena Video, Faye Taylor Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
5/12/14	Have you ever wondered why all the beautiful women do all the difficult — notice how we avoided the overly simple pun hard at this point — work around here? Well, it turns out D.Minion remains fairly sure that an overwhelming desire to please her pretty much explains it all. Would that this were only true, we would never again have to ask For Whom the Belles Toil. … (Yeah, that hurt just writing it down. … Sometimes we have no control. You should know that about us. … ) [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Georgia Adair Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Anais, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]
5/9/14	Everyone arrived at work today in a wonderful mood. Having each received text messages last evening, it seems we now all have a new favorite Green Bay Packer we have affectionately nicknamed “Monica” — according to our leader. After all, what else does the name “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix” make you think of? … And this strange view of the world pretty much explains all of our Adult Behavior perspectives today. … You learn to adapt; what can we say? [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux]
5/5/14	Many, many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, although according to a new report we heard, apparently the holiday tends to be a lot more popular than in America than in Mexico. If we had paid more attention we might have learned why that happens to be, but we can just take it on faith. It was on the television news. It has to be true. … All of that said, not many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo the way we chose to this year — with Mika Tan. Hey, we’ll drink cerveza and ruminate upon Mika. Sounds like a plan. … [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Lorraine Sisco]
5/2/14	Sometimes you meet someone, and the chemistry between the two of you almost feels electric. OK, so most of the time one of you feels attracted while the other feels repulsed, but magnetic fields can be sort of like electricity, so that should count for something. Still, should you find yourself on the “rejected” end of one of these interpersonal dynamics, do not despair. While sadness tends to be depressing, mirth can be quite fun. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Carli Banks Video, Alexis Love Video, Tiffany Sweet Video, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Michael Ninn]

December 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/10	At this point we’ve pretty much given up on Business as Usual around here, as everyone has pretty much fallen into the Full Panic mode about the upcoming convention. When we decided to put that Countdown for Gibby on top of New Stuff, we didn’t really anticipate that this would result in common wails of AAAARGH! in the office – every time somebody here opens up the site to check something. Presuming we haven’t been overrun by a collection of pirates, one might assume that the old “Ignorance is Bliss” theory definitely seems to hold water in this establishment. Of course, since we’re almost always happy here, that should give us reason to worry, right? … We’ll think about that, and y’all enjoy Bullet Points from DM. [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2010, Rayveness, Nicki Hunter, Christy Canyon, Raylene, Ginger Lynn, Veronica Hart, Jessica Drake, Monique Alexander, Eva Angelina, Julia Ann, Sasha Grey, Jesse Jane, Nina Hartley, Chloe, Sunset Thomas, Exclusive Video]
12/27/10	You know how it feels when you get the opportunity to hang out with a friend that you’ve had for going on 20 years? Well, that’s how we’ve been enjoying for the past few months as we’ve all been showing off what we can do for just such a friend, Shayla LaVeaux. Today happens to be Shayla’s birthday, and today also happens to mark the launch of Shayla’s brand new personal web site. Members here get that access for FREE, and all of Shayla’s members will also get to hang with the rest of us for the same price. We’ve had a saying around here that we’ve used for years: “Things tend to work out.” … Happy Birthday, pretty lady. We love you. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]
12/25/10	Sometimes simple works best: Merry Christmas. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]
12/24/10	Don’t you just love presents? In the long list of quirks resulting in social deficiency that we possess around here, not being Politically Correct doesn’t even make the Top 40 list in all probability. Consequently, we feel quite comfortable just saying “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas” and offering up another collection of gifts that you really shouldn’t share in just your basic family gathering. On the other hand, it does make us feel quite good to be able to offer this to the Members, and if that makes us odd, well, we weird people need love too. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli, Anais, Georgia Adair, Jana Cova, Angel Cassidy, Charlie Lane, Jassie, Moni Michaels, Melissa Lauren, Audrey Hollander, Brittney Skye, Marie Luv, Daisy Marie, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Rita Faltoyano, Michael Ninn]
12/22/10	It’s … a Poetry, Nudity, Gala (Oh, My!) … And for what it’s worth, we’ve never heard tell of Cytherea actually appearing in a home having magically come down the chimney, but we can assure you that she’d be welcome most anywhere we suspect. At the very least she provides a lot of decorative value to the area, regardless of the season. And while we make no claim to Shakespearean aspirations around here, we can do a dandy bit with the Limerick. If you have the time to wander through, you might even enjoy the poetic license. If you just have time to gaze at Cytherea, you’ll definitely enjoy her license to thrill. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]
12/20/10	Did you know that even porn stars can get jealous when “their” man participates in a scene? Well, strange as it may seem normal human emotions don’t completely abandon a woman just because she’s decided on this rather atypical career choice. On the other hand, even in the presence of these feelings the guy usually gets to escape with all his limbs intact – even if not so much his breath. … If any of you folks out there ever find yourself in this unusual situation, take some advice from someone who’s seen it a lot: Walk away clean, and whatever you do, don’t brag too much. Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio, and Anthony demonstrate a point (or two) this time around. That’s handy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Olivia Del Rio]
12/17/10	If you live long enough, you’ll get an opportunity to use the word “redact” in a sentence. Actually, if you happen to work for one of the various “critical” agencies for the U.S. Government, you’ll probably get to use that word all the time — generally in response to the bellows of all those pesky But The First Amendment is Important! people. On the upside, we use bellows a whole lot more than we use gallows these days, so that seems like progress. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane, Kimberly Kane, Evan Stone, Erica McLean, Kaz B. Exclusive Video, 247adultstars.com]
12/13/10	Think about “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” … And if you know anything at all about Cytherea’s “speciality” in her adult performances, you know that if she did in fact light your fire, she could at least put it out all by herself. If you don’t happen to know what we’re talking about with Cytherea, well, you certainly will after a careful perusal of today’s video example. If you don’t understand “C’mon Baby Light My Fire” at all, just check YouTube. You’ll figure it out. And once reaching the video clips, if you wonder why someone in our Video Department went to all the trouble to create the complicated blueprint graphics as the background for the little introductions, we can explain that easily here too. Upon questioning we learned that this resulted from the simple fact that “Cytherea wrote the blueprints on this type of scene.” In addition to Web Geeks, Video Dudes also think they’re funny. … On the upside, you’ll even understand the Classic 60’s song reference at the end of DM’s story too. It’s fun around here. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Taylor Hayes Video]
12/10/10	Have you ever had a party with a bunch of porn stars and all of the sudden they all decided to pile on each other and pose for naked pictures? … OK. So probably not, but there are a great many worse ways to spend an evening in life. So we decided to look at a life of one of those stars today, and then illustrate her adorned with Devinn Lane, Kristal Summers, Dee, and Wendy Divine. That’s a heck of a good way to be adorned, just so you know. [FEATURED TAGS:Kristal Summers, Dee, Wendy Divine, Devinn Lane, Jessica Drake, Cheyenne Silver]
12/7/10	The more philosophically positive around here try to remember today for a different reason than history aficionados. Today, of course, happens to be Chasey Lain’s birthday. Naturally we have always wished the best for Chasey, and she’s (by all accounts, including her own) doing well. She’s actually talking about learning some web design techniques, which would make her a certainly entertaining person around the office. Consequently we’re doing some celebration of our own around here today, and giving a public vote of confidence for another lass that has had career hiccups – albeit those being of a substantially less physically risky than Chasey’s past. As D.Minion says, “We just want everyone to be happy.” [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Chasey Lane Video, Isabella Video, Daisy Marie Video]
12/2/10	Each of us brings a unique perspective to life, well, unless you happen to be one of those lacky “Dear God, Don’t Let Me Lose My Job” types in Washington, D.C. of course. Of course gradations of “unique” come into play, and both D.Minion and Sunny Lane certainly represent Whos of Different Hues if you want to look at it that way. Put them both in a Las Vegas hotel room, and you can imagine where the conversation (to say the least) will go. Since we’ve now started serious planning for the upcoming Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, this little soirée seemed the perfect beginning. One thing about Vegas with a boatload of porn stars, you can find soirées out the ying-yang. … There’s another title in there somewhere. [FEATURED TAGS: Sunny Lane Exclusive Video, Alexis Texas Exclusive Video, Veronica Hart]

September 2005 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

9/30/05	We encourage reading the classics around here. And then we encourage reading almost anything else. Reading is good, and your head doesn’t hurt nearly as much the next morning if you spend the evening reading rather than developing a personal relationship with, say, Jack Daniels. OK. Maybe if you spend the evening reading the Republican National Platform it might, but nobody really reads that anyway, do they? In honor of this encouragement, today we’re taking a twist on the classics with “Of Vice, Not Men,” and while certainly not destined to be required fodder at some future university it has the distinct benefit of including Juli Ashton, Alexandra Silk, and Devinn Lane among its subject matter. After that, who really cares? [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Devinn Lane Video, Alexandra Silk Video, Exclusive Video]
9/26/05	A funny thing happened on the way to the web post today. One of the site management tools that we use pointed out that this Night Calls, August, 2005 entry represents a total of 5,000 pages that we’ve laid out for the world to see. That seems significant … not like the stars in a mountain sky at night or anything, but still significant. But although we’ve been good at honesty over the years, we’ve probably never been good at understanding significance. It’s a shortcoming we’ve learned to live with, however. So we’re going to leave it up to someone else to add that particular aspect. For our part, we plan on watching the Broncos on Monday Night Football, all the while hoping that Kansas City sent all of their players to assist in the hurricane relief efforts instead of bringing them to Denver. We may not be good at significance, but we do just fine with perspective. [FEATURED TAGS: Night Calls, Juli Ashton, Tiffany Granath, Sunny Lane, D.Minion]
9/24/05	Now we can tell you about D.Minion’s visit to the set of Lost Angels – Wanda Curtis, and of course provide all of the usual fascinating insights delivered in laconic observation. OK. Maybe “laconic” might be more that we could hope for … so let’s go with “pithy” … and you guys can get on the Message Board and blame “bradcom” for the renewed fascination with words around here. One of the editors bought a bargain bin Word of the Day calendar and has felt it necessary to try to use the words for the 267 days that have already passed this year — in one week. (Bradcom owes the office a beer, by the way.) To D.Minion’s credit we should note, however, that she did provide 135 wonderful photograps of beautifully unclad women … oh, and some cows, an aging motorbike, and a couple of landscapes of a water truck. Isn’t it nice when things get back to normal? [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Wanda Curtis, Venus, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]
9/23/05	It’s time once again for the Revelry of the Lab Rats. Oh. That would be us, by the way. However, this may not be as onerous as one might think, but we shouldn’t really explain it here because then everyone would hear about it. Let’s just say it involves some rather interesting activities for about 50 or so of the top stars in adult entertainment today. Sometimes it’s good to be a member, huh? [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Michael Ninn]
9/21/05	Oops. We got called into the Principal’s office today, or at least its porn equivalent. It seems we haven’t been practicing the proper reverence for the vaunted Adult Video News Awards. You know, we’d be really sorry, but proper reverence has never been one of our better subjects, and we’ve pretty much come to grips with this failure over the years. While we’re contemplating our wrong-doing, and driving all the way to Los Angeles to hear about it, by the way, we thought we’d let you kill a little time with the Anais version of (the) Pool Party. We might be using that term fairly loosely here, come to think of it. … Drat. … There we go again being all impertinent and the like. We should be sent to our room immediately … and Anais should come with us to be sure we’re really sorry. [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Michael Ninn]
9/14/05	Being rather the pragmatic type, we tend to pay attention when someone wants to teach us something. Hey, if someone wants to use us for our brains, we might as well get something out of the deal, right? Besides, you just never know when knowing a few tricks can turn into a fun afternoon with Juli Ashton, Inari Vachs, Keri Windsor … oh … and Shayla LaVeaux and Devinn Lane. Oh, my darling(s), you just never know about some things, although learning it seems to us will always be a good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Devinn Lane Video, Inari Vachs, Keri Windsor Video, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]
9/13/05	Now you’d think that being a “lab rat” wouldn’t be the most fun job in the world. However, provided no one really cuts open your head to stick pointy electrical things into your brain, there are some positive things to be said for the potential. If, for example, you have Anais and Jana Cova as your visual “aides” (as it were) for the day, well maybe it would be OK to just hang for the time being. We can always escape later. It may seem hard to believe, even after all these years since school, but “Homework can be Your Friend.” [FEATURED TAGS: Anais Video, Jana Cova Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
9/10/05	It was 12:34 on May 6th, 1978 … Naturally, this made it 12345678 …. Well, at 11:12 today it will 9-10-11-12 (sort of) which isn’t as cool by any means, but it’s not bad. Also not bad would be the triumphant return of the Ninn Worx Weekend, at least since we get to talk even more about Justine Joli. We certainly seem to be living in a “phase” mode these days, don’t we? Ah, well, as long as the pretty girls keep on telling us secret stuff and letting us into their lives, this seems like a good place to hang around. You know, it occurs to us that a great many of the women currently making XXX movies were not even alive in 1978. Now is a good time to stop this kind of thinking is the next thing that occurs to us. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli, Holly Morgan, Georgia Adair, Anais, Angel Cassidy, Isabella, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Michael Ninn]
9/8/05	If you have to hang around on a movie set, we suggest hanging around with Anais, Wanda Curtis, Angel Cassidy, Justine Joli, Jana Cova, and Charlie Laine. … You know, the trouble with simple advice is that it seems to be awfully hard to accomplish most of the time. … At the particular moment however, we asked not for whom the belles tolled … (We need a bumper sticker that says “Decry the Paucity of Good Literature” … and we need a bumper on which to put it.) [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Wanda Curtis, Angel Cassidy, Jana Cova, Charlie Laine, Justine Joli Video, Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]
9/6/05	You know what would be wonderful? It would be wonderful if people always did just what they said they were going to do. That would be great, wouldn’t it? In my decade (plus) of Porn Star Management I always said that if you just do what you say you’re going to do, that generally being showing up on time, looking good, with the wardrobe you need, and knowing your lines, you’d immediately be in the top 2% of the working talent. Sad, isn’t it? But it’s still true, although “lines” aren’t as commonly used as they once were, what with corporations buying up all of the companies and the time taken to do “dialogue” being hard to justify on a silly balance sheet that somebody who’s never even seen an adult movie has responsibility for. Video may have killed the radio star, but Business may beat us all to death sooner or later …. OK. We’ve stalled enough. If you don’t recall our promise, then you’re probably not a member anyway, and you haven’t even read this far before you clicked away to another page. We’re very philosophical today … [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]
9/4/05	So say you’re going to have a Dinner Party. And say that Dee, Carmen Luvana, and Lauren Phoenix are desparate to attend. … Then say that champagne makes their clothes fall off. We’d say you’d have a dandy time, but we’re really trying to avoid the obvious (obviously). [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, Carmen Luvana, Lauren Phoenix, D.Minion]
9/1/05	Rumor has it that one of our own has a birthday today, and like responsible adults we know exactly how to treat mere rumors. … We consider them Gospel, and then endeavor to tell as many people as we can remember about the scandalous circumstances that we can recall, or at least make up. Think about it. When else would the entire address book of your email, or the entire listings in your cell phone directory, become valuable? So Kristal Summers has a birthday, and apparently that’s a unique enough of an occurrence to spur us into action. … OK. It’s at least enough of an occurrence to entice us into wishing Kristal a Happy Day … and to show off one of Kristal’s “Flirty Dozen” … She’s really a great person; it’s the least we can do. At “least” we should do that, it seems. We plan on more serious spurring just as soon as we take a nap. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Inari Vachs]