Filed Under: 2010

November 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/30/10

If you’ve followed Shayla LaVeaux’s career at all, you’ll know that she basically lives as a woman combining Colorado with Southern California. And if you’ve followed Shayla’s new personal web site evolution at all, you’ll know that she now features these aspects of her personality. (Of course following the evolution of Shayla’s new personal web site would be pretty hard, since we haven’t launched it yet, but that’s just a detail.) Well, today’s Shayla feature aptly demonstrates this new approach, and it will quite likely provide you with some insight as to how cowgirls should dress for their performances. That said, we’re thinking the National Professional Rodeo Association might have bit of difficulty getting this new standard approved, and that’s too bad really. Life can be hard. … In Shayla’s case, of course, that clearly constitutes a very good thing. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Excellent Combinations a la Shayla
11/27/10

Dedicated to keeping the long holiday weekend extra special this year, you’ll find “Dee Perfect” – dare we say “Kristal Clear” – bit of home-spun nudity on tap today. True, at some level all nudity would be home-spun, but if you’re really trying to be that literal around here, you should probably be reading something a little deeper than your typical Risqué Commune offering. … And go volunteer at a soup kitchen or something. That’s doing more to help the world than hanging around here too. Still, we do make for a pleasant diversion. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Dee Video, Exclusive Video]

Kristal Summers and Dee - Sufficiently Diverting
11/25/10

You’ve probably heard of a lot of wonderful ways to give thanks today, and maybe even some of those don’t involve gluttony or football, although “a lot” might be a stretch in that case. However, we’re pretty sure that peeking at Cytherea risking her life just for fun has got to rank right up there with the best potential celebrations today. In honor of Cytherea and her larger than life approach to every day of her life, we’ve even decided to use a “larger-than-life” thumbnail. Yeah, we know: We’re wacky that way. … Remember being young and crazy? It’s a wonder any of us lived, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video]

Cytherea Having Fun. She Swears.
11/23/10

Think about “Soft Places for a Hard Drive” and just try to keep your mind out of the gutter. On the other hand, if you happen to enjoy a little gutter-thought now and again, this would be a fine place to hang out. In fact the ever-astounding and beautiful Julia Ann will probably keep you from noticing all the geek talk entirely. She’s handy that way. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Danni Ashe, Justine Joli Video]

Julia Covers the Soft Places - Or Not
11/19/10

Ah, to recall the halcyon days of college. It comes as little surprise, perhaps, that people with the financial wherewithal (or the cajones to borrow even more money) often choose to continue the event. So why does no one tell us that Graduate School (note the capitalization there) bears little actual relationship to the generally festive frivolity of an undergraduate collegiate experience? In case you happen to be curious, we have figured it out for you: Because That’s how They get ya! … On the upside, folks in Graduate School do have rather varied schedules, and so when such Talented Temps (again with the capitalization) get a chance to hang for another stint at our humble offices, we welcome them we open arms (although not so much “wallets” as a rule). We also tend to let them use whatever Illustration Techniques they’d like to employ, and if some such person wants to show off a variation of a Flash Video Approach and play with Justine Joli in the process, well, gosh, why would we complain? (And, yes, These Types sometimes Capitalize Too Much. Whatever.) [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli, Monica Mayhem Video, Capri Anderson Video]

At Home With Justine (Capitalized)
11/14/10

Rumor has it that Joe Montana (Hall of Fame NFL Quarterback, if you’ve been living under a decidedly unathletic rock somewhere) once said that any talk of “Genius” doesn’t belong in the same conversation with football. According to this source (which was the radio, so it’s gotta be true) Joe actually said, “If you’re going to be talking Geniuses, you need to be talking about that Norman Einstein guy.” … Just so we’re clear here: Joe was making a joke. Not all football players need help spelling the name of their college entrance exam test. … Still, some people claim not to care anything at all about football, so we’re giving them Cytherea today. Technically she’s giving herself to us, but honestly that sounds like a whole lot more fun than what’s actually happening. It’s complicated. Y’all enjoy Cy. We’re all going to go in search of that really bright Norman fellow. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Justine Joli]

Beach, Baby. Beach, Baby. Give Us Your Hand.
11/10/10

Christopher Moore has once again given us a wonderful turn of phrase to use around the office. Has anyone else ever felt like an old piece of Bubblicious with all the licious chewed out of it? Well, writing computer code all day (and many nights) long can certainly do that to a person, but when some of your “duties” involve working with Inari Vachs, she being rather more of the Babelicious bent, well, you learn to put up with a few things. It’s a long road, but nobody said it has to be a miserable one. … OK. So some Gandhi dude said something like that, but he was clearly not talking about Inari. [FEATURED TAGS:Inari Vachs]

Inari Looking Decidedly Not Miserable
11/5/10

Now even admitting that you might pay attention to the tabloids, or Heaven Forbid, Tabloid Television, almost certainly violates the Fifth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. That said, we do have friends that have been known to “appear” in/on those darned things, so we can’t just ignore them. Consequently, we dutifully continue the “What We Can Tell You So Far” part of the Capri Anderson story from inside this part of her life, and then transition much more happily into Stormy Daniels (sadly, not “as it were” in this case). It makes for a rousing good day despite the ominous beginnings. Have you ever been with someone that picks up one of those tacky “newspapers” at the grocery store checkout line? Next time that happens, just say really loudly, “Aw, Geez! Can’t we just go buy porn or something? This is really embarrassing.” History tells us they will put that reading material back on the rack immediately. You might want to hurry on out of the store while they’re paying, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Tenaya, Stormy Daniels Video, Shyla Stylez Video]

Capri with Sex Toy and Cell Phone in Hand – Both very Handy Apparently
11/2/10

Oh, thank the Heavens that the excruciating barrage of political ads will finally end after today. Now we do want to pass along our traditional We don’t care for whom you vote, but it remains important that you do so! message, and thus we have done that – with some degree of elegance actually. In celebration we have a bit of our (also traditional) humorous look at some decidedly not political ads, and then we ever-so-subtly remind you that you should keep up with Cytherea on her site too. She had a new post go up yesterday. Did you know that? … As for the political commercials, according to Lon we have at least a couple of months before everyone starts talking about the 2012 elections. That Lon, he’s an eternal optimist. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

It All “Ads” Up

October 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/10

Goblins and Witches and Ghouls. Oh my. … Curious. Possibly creepy. We spy. … And that’s about enough poetry for today we expect. … Hey, sexual interest takes many forms, and as long as everyone playing falls into the “Consenting Adults” category, we try pretty hard to avoid judgment. Besides, on this particular day, it will be a lot more fun to think about chocolate in its various forms. Of course you might want to consider today’s videos while you enjoy something sweet. And if your personal something sweet happens to be a real live person, well, all the better. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton, Ashley Long, Michael Ninn Video]

Juli Ashton being a Weenie
10/28/10

You know how you can tell that our lives have changed, and products just aren’t what they used to be? Well, one way would probably be when you find a mouse nest in your garage made out of a d-CON box. Assuming you don’t live someplace where you notice mice trying move indoors for the winter, you might notice that current events seem a lot funnier than they used to be. We decided that the second topic would probably be more interesting than the first today. We’re clever like that. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Brittany Andrews, Capri Anderson]

“Ho“d on to Your Horses
10/24/10

Today the NFL has promised that they will take none of the violence out of the professional game, while they concurrently attempt to force the highly-paid players to stop hitting each other so hard. OK. So you might consider that what they’re really trying to do may be to avoid the really, really bad publicity that will result when a player breaks his neck and suffers paralysis, but what does it matter really? That’s clearly a wonderful goal, regardless of how awkwardly the League has phrased its approach. For those of the decidedly less violently motivated you might consider Shayla LaVeaux and Brittany Andrews “Playing in Pastel Perfection” – these lasses pursuing an altogether different wonderful goal of their own. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Brittany Andrews]

Technically Brittany and Shayla in this Photo
10/19/10

[We don’t usually just quote Maverick’s 247AdultStars “What’s New” entries, preferring as a rule to let the folks that decide to visit there peruse the European edition of the entry. Today we opted to just quote the lad. … ] “Sadly, this scene nearly didn’t ever see the light of day. One of our cameras chose this very day and shoot to go down. It locked up completely, and no matter what our tech people (and everyone else we could find around) could do, the temperamental electronics just refused to play well with others. What you’ll see today comes from a recovery of the very tape in said camera at its petulant demise. (We still shot on DV tape then.) After repeated efforts, much pleading, even more cursing, and a whole lot of video gymnastics, we finally managed to capture the tape, but not at the normal quality we would generally enjoy. We wouldn’t want you to miss out on Syren’s solo scene, however, so we added a few filters, termed it “ism” (as one of our favourite American directors, Michael Ninn, likes to call “artistic style” ) and finally bring the scene to you. No matter where you happen to be in life, a truth survives: Some women are worth the wait.” [Makes you want to watch it, right? Of course we’ve added our own little flair for those Members that choose to enter here. What’s the point of being Risqué if you don’t feel special?] [STAR TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Cytherea, Syren Sexton, Exclusive Video]

A Way to Certainly Party Hearty
10/14/10

Driving around the circuitous streets of Los Angeles yesterday we saw a license plate that read “2GR8M8TS” on a vehicle driving much too leisurely for its presence on the 101 Freeway, truth be told. Upon reflection back at the office, the more naive among us attributed a touching “romantic” notion to the sentiment, while the more cynically-inclined pointed out that the owner could well have simply been a well satisfied bigamist. As often happens around here, though, the incident served to point out that every coin of seeming good fortune has (at least) two sides – which (also as often happens around here) provided us with a dandy segue into a discussion of modern life as a porn star performer. Fortunately for all of you, it remains easy to skip all the economic philosophy set against a current events background and just look at the beautiful women performing in a technologically advancing environment. … If more people taught economics with naked ladies, you’d have probably paid more attention in college, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Holly Sampson, Juelz Ventura]

Somewhat Idealized Teacher and Student
10/10/10

Wow. Good things must be supposed to happen on 10-10-10. Honestly when we scheduled the conclusion of D.Minion’s coverage of Cytherea’s first-ever shoot for her own web site, we didn’t actually recognize the numerical significance of today. Of course we’ve never been averse to taking full credit for an absolutely accidental stroke of good fortune. Come to think of it, that must be what Sean Michaels thought when Cytherea first approached him about “trading” a little good time between them. Never underestimate the value of serendipity. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Sean Michaels]

Bed Ideas for Cytherea
10/7/10

Between all of the (some say vastly over-educated) people around here, we have a pretty good vocabulary en toto, as it were. (And, no, that doesn’t have anything to do with a small dog from Kansas.) That said, many times in life a 5 cent word can beat the heck out of one of those $10 ones. So with the official launch of CYTHEREA’S NEW MEMBERS’ SIDE today, and after much careful consideration, we came up with just such a perfect little word: WHEW! … Now that may not mean much to some of the less geeky out there, but if you consider the alterative approach that came in second place, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail,” … well, you can see why we just went with WHEW. Does anyone else find it odd that the some of the most “hopeful” philosophies of the Bible come from the book Lamentations? … Yeah, we know. That’s hardly the only ironic part. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Video, Exclusive Video]

Cy's Sighs and Thighs of Relief
10/5/10

We’ve been crunching so much code getting Cytherea’s new Blog designed to her standards that we almost forgot a very important birthday today. OK. So the odds of D.Minion forgetting this birthday are somewhat worse than her deciding to be a last-minute write-in gubernatorial candidate for the state of California, but she’d probably have as good a chance at success with the job as either of the other two already bitter people actually on the ballot. Still she did insist we “Celebrate with Juli” today, and she even enlisted some assistance from Dee. And Juli must be in the prime of life now, or at least her age is a prime number this year. That counts, right? [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, Juli Ashton]

Always “Dee“Lightful

September 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

9/30/10

You know how many modern cars have CD changers built into them these days, and most of those devices have six “slots” into which you may insert your various personal music selections? … Right. … So in one particular car this week we found the following options available to us: Mötly Crüe, Bobby Darin, Aretha Franklin, Ringo Starr, Human League, and The Black Crowes. Now you might expect someone with such diverse, and potentially eclectic (Let’s be honest.), music tastes to carry these “unusual” predilictions into her everyday day life, and Shayla LaVeaux certainly doesn’t disappoint today as she gives it “Ye Olde College Try” for our entertainment. Tied very closely to this wonderful revelation was D.Minion’s glee at discovering she could do this in boring old computer code: ♥ … . Simple pleasures, y’all. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]

A Swimsuit to which to Aspire
9/27/10

What if you make moccasins out of a water moccasin? Is that redundant? Well while our (significantly less than, truth be told) Illustrious Leader was off contemplating important issues such as this over the weekend, those less philosophically inclined were left behind to launch the proper celebration of Dear Maverick’s Birthday (as you can see below, actually). When His Pickiness returned, it seems that there were some very slight – hardly worth mentioning, really – variances between what happened and what was supposed to happen. Gee. Some people have no sense of humor about some things, like spending hours and hours working on a new video display method that we sort of … well … forgot. And then there was something about a whole bunch of pictures that sort of slipped through the cracks too. Oops. … Hey, if we didn’t have to spend so much time pondering the appropriate animal skins with which to make comfortable footwear, we’d have probably remembered. It’s better now, though. Whew. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Julia Ann]

Julia Ann is ALWAYS Better Now
9/25/10

Birthdays generally fall in the “happy occasion” category for most of us, and when Maverick has one we get to share his gift with everyone. What could be better than a Kristal Summers Cam Show Replay you may wonder? Well, a Cam Show that also featured the ever-lovely Julia Ann, of course. It seems Mav has a thing for blondes with large breasts, but we’re thinking that he may have plenty of friends out there that understand this fascination, even if they don’t share the level of his enthusiasm. True, Kristal was in one of her Brunette Phases this time, but somehow we think that her hair color won’t keep Dear Maverick from enjoying the show. … And we need to be nice to Mav: He has to live in the rain most of the time. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Julia Ann Video, Exclusive Video]

The Real Reason for Virtual Reality
9/19/10

Apparently after yesterday’s editorial comments regarding beer consumption and professional duties, Maverick felt a need to define (and a little bit defend) a few British traditions. Now the “point – counterpoint” approach works fairly well in conversation, but in a written environment, when you don’t get to include the final words … well … not so much. On the upside (even for the U.K. folks out there), Georgia Adair illustrates today, so everyone can pretty much ignore the “weird” as Mav puts it. There’s a saying about a pot and a kettle, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair]

Georgia Adair - A Perfectly Fine Reason to Ignore Maverick
9/18/10

Peeking at partying porn stars makes for a decidedly happy day, and Maverick has once again provided us just such an opportunity. Now we can’t say with certainty that the fact that these happen to be U.K. porn stars makes it even more fun, but it sure seems to. Maybe we just like seeing different women flashing and playing than the ones we usually see. Come to think of it, this might validate Ron White’s comment (that we tend to quote a lot around here, truth be told): “Once you’ve seen one woman naked, you pretty much want to see them all.” [FEATURED TAGS: AdultStars247.com, Anais, Crystal Pink, Michelle Moist, Holly D, Shay Hendrix, Loz Lorrimar, Syren Sexton, Tyler, Tiffany Doll, Kerry Louise, Sarah Jane, Tanya Cox, Exclusive Video]

Just for Gibby. We swear.
9/13/10

Once again we’ve evidence of how unnecessarily complicated women can be. The current issue of Glamour magazine lists on its cover a (presumably) insightful article claiming “Ten Ways to Get What You Really Want in Bed” – which sounds nice, but has nine too many options it sounds like to us. A men’s magazine would say simply: “How Do You Get What You Really Want in Bed? Pay for It.” … See? … Sometimes perspective can make all the difference, and if D.Minion’s coverage of Exxxotica LA this summer teaches us nothing else, it should teach us that. On the other hand, any excuse for scantily-clad ladies always makes us happy – even the overly complicated women around here. [FEATURED TAGS: Exxxotica LA, Cytherea, Sunny Lane, Sophia Lynn, Joanna Angel, Exclusive Video]

Scantily-Clad. We promise.
9/10/10

We’re bringing in a little Brando today. OK. So technically we’re just bringing in the name, but we use it in the context of a really famous movie. Honestly, though, the movie actually sprung from an even more famous book, at least if you’re the type of person who reads. And if you’re not the type of person who reads, well, we’re not sure what you’re doing here quite honestly, but welcome anyway. If it makes you feel any better, you’ll have a lot of fun just looking at the “BTS Adornment” provided by Cytherea. You can just ignore all the words. That’s what most of the people that actually work here do, truth be told. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea. Art needs a good frame.
9/8/10

Continuing our traditional celebration of really funny t-shirts, we saw one at a ridiculously fancy store in L.A. this week that said, “It’s not all about winning or losing. Well, OK. Yeah, it is.” Of course a philosophy such as this comes fairly easily in a retail establishment where some of the shoes cost more than the first car most of us had growing up. Speaking of growing up, apparently those short-legged pants have made a comeback – or maybe they never left. We tried to get the details but oddly enough the sales people at the fancy place didn’t seem all that interested in providing fashion history to someone wearing a 20-yr-old Denver Broncos t-shirt. Go figure. … And what does all of this have to do with Capri Anderson? … Thankfully very little. We’d warn you about the Mary Tyler Moore references today, but that would spoil all the fun, now wouldn’t it? [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson]

Capri Anderson. But she has no pants.
9/2/10

No one can be quite certain why all of the sudden quotes from The Great Gatsby keep coming across the posting desk, but apparently someone has started college again and has found themselves in an American Lit class. That said, the following does indeed have some bearing on today’s introspection, albeit more in the addendum than in the information proper. “Americans, while occasionally willing to be serfs, have always been obstinate about being peasantry.” … And if you don’t understand (or don’t care) about the expatriate Mr. Fitzgerald, well, just look at the conclusion of the Cytherea having fun being a voyeur story. We all get to pick our own drummer. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea Giving a Licking

August 2010 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

8/31/10

Did you ever see The Wedding Crashers? … Well we can assure you that you’ve never seen the concept explored quite the way that Cytherea does it. Come to think of it, Cy’s little “version” might have made a wonderful addition to the actual movie, and would even have contributed some exceptional comedic tension. … Of course if they had included this Cytherea bit, the movie probably wouldn’t have played in as many theaters as it did. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Cytherea's Vision of Love
8/27/10

Let’s say you’d really enjoy a job where all you have to do all day long boils down to taking pictures of Shayla LaVeaux naked. In that case odds seem good that you’d feel like you have a pretty darned good job. It would also mean, of course, that you have D.Minion’s job, and if you’re curious – at least the way she explains it – you’ll have to pry the job out of her cold, dead, fingers. Of course that would be another issue altogether. Still it always makes us happy when we can work a Constitutional allegory into an adult web site introduction, and let’s face it, a naked Shayla LaVeaux pretty much makes everybody happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux]

Shayla. Understand now?
8/25/10

As much as it seems like we try to avoid current events around here, sometimes we just can’t ignore them. To wit, Lon noticed an amazingly relevant article in his local Las Vegas paper that could have deeply personal ramifications for all of us at the January convention. It brings into play the potential for pithy commentary from our British arm, via the reporting of Dear Maverick, and it may quell feelings of despair for a situation that last year we felt portended ill for our favorite bargain lodging on the Strip. … To make it a little more interesting, assuming it be possible that you’re not planning on attending AVN’s annual shin-dig, we have also popped in a few rather sultry photos of Inari Vachs in bright yellow thigh-high boots that we’ve had floating around the office for some time. That always brightens a day, and, besides, how many times do you really get to say “to wit” in life? [FEATURED TAGS: Inari Vachs]

Inari Creating a Thish High Sigh
8/22/10

We have formally resolved, you may be glad to hear, to keep putting the “fun” back in dysfunctional. … OK. So as a technical matter that falls more into the “analysis of our usual situation made by a visiting friend this past week” than it does the “resolution” category. Still, we can’t see anything particularly wrong with this approach to life, and we certainly can’t argue with the assessment. If nothing else, today’s editorial and accompanying view of obscure architecture illustrates our philosophy perfectly. Don’t you just love it when that happens? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video, Erica McLean Video]

Fine Architecture in its Own Right
8/18/10

You English majors out there may remember that the final line of The Great Gatsby reads, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” Now if you’ve actually read the book you’ll probably be a little worried here, but we can assure you that D.Minion’s fond account of Vicca and Nikita happens to be a whole lot more cheery than the resolution with Jay Gatsby (or Nick Carraway, if you’re a stickler for literary details). Let’s face it: If you feel a need to look back on life, having two beautiful Russian women in it helps a whole heck of a lot. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Doria,Savannah, Gina Stasia, Diva, Alexandra Silk, Shelly Jones, Angela Ayers]

OUR Femme Nikita
8/13/10

Now supposing you had a “leader” (of some sort or another) whose parents gave him the name “Lucky” at birth. You might be inclined to think that Friday the 13th could turn out to be atypically interesting days for folks that hang around with this chap, right? (Hey, after you’ve seen the name “Lucky” printed on an actual driver’s license, the whole leap into numerology and mythology really doesn’t take much. Trust us.) … At any rate, because of this special day, we decided to break our usual tradition and do back to back posts regarding the lovely Tenaya. It turns out the last entry stirred some feelings around here, and if an adult web site can’t share some stirring feelings with you, well what good are they anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya]

More Good Clean Fun with Tenaya
8/9/10

Most of you know how much we love to celebrate holidays around here, so we just had to do something special this morning. … What holiday, you may wonder? … Why, naturally, it’s “eight, nine, ten” – and you don’t even have to be a history (or math) whiz to know that this just doesn’t happen very often. Odds are good we’ll be around for “nine, ten, eleven” and probably even “ten, eleven, twelve” – but after that all bets are off. If any of us are around for the next “eight, nine, ten” well, we’d better be a lot richer by then. That’s all we have to say. Well, except that we’re celebrating today with Tenaya. We should probably mention that. [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya Video]

Tenaya in a Slightly Less Revealing Moment
8/7/10

Kristal Summers makes a darned fine office assistant, an assessment you’ll likely agree with after today. Of course Kristal Summers makes a darned fine almost anything, so perhaps that’s not saying much. On the other hand, when you have an entire day devoted to Kristal, how much time do you really need to waste saying anything at all? [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Kristal Dresses Up an Office, Doesn't She?
8/3/10

If you think of the lyrics “What EVA … Cocks Your Pistol, What EVA … Toots Your Whistle” and then you think of a clever parody of a classic Statler Brothers song, well, you’d have the same brain as exactly one person in the office here. If, however, when you think of EVA you think of “Angelina” why then you’d match everyone else. Depending upon whom you ask here, you’d either be a very savvy aficionado of adult movie fare, or woefully ignorant in your knowledge of 1970’s country music. You get to determine whether a failure in either area bothers you more as you go with D.Minion coincidentally on set with Eva Angelina. We should warn you: This will be one of those “better have a beer with you” sorts of posts. Maybe two. [FEATURED TAGS: Eva Angelina, Angela Stone, AJ Bailey, Joey Valentine, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn]

Eva with A Leg Up on the Competition