Filed Under: Keri Windsor

October 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/13

One of our telecommuting team members apparently has a tradition in his neighborhood where when the kids say “Trick or Treat” they get candy — while the adults get a shot of some sort, and not the kind that protects you from the flu. Now none of us has ever been to that particular neighborhood, but the kids probably run from house to house because it won’t be too long before mom and dad need to head home because they’re too drunk to walk much more. You’ll have to provide your own shots this evening but we have provided some dandy treats with Cytherea, Kylie Ireland, Syren Sexton, and even Summer Knight. There’s a story in there somewhere, and we will likely tell it. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Video, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, Summer Knight Video, Bonnie Rotten, 247AdultStars.com ]

Nice Costume, but She Might Get Chilly
10/26/13

It seems like referencing Harold Hill in an adult web site might be a bit unusual, yet we happily do just that this time around. As you may know, however, we have not historically been all that concerned with “usual” in any of our approaches to life. On the other hand, we also pay tribute to a $1,500 sex toy, which falls closer to the adult members’ site norm. Of course we did title the current article, “Oh, We Got Treble.” So there’s that. To quote our leader in today’s post, “We’re just weird.” [STAR TAGS: Jeska Vardinski Video, Asa Akira Video]

A Clef Highlighting a Cleft
10/22/13

Never one to worry much about her own wardrobe, we were a bit surprised when D.Minion showed up in the office insisting that everyone check out her new shirt. It says, “I have CDO, which is like OCD but in alphabetical order — as it should be.” … Suddenly everything made more sense, a bit like when you discover that a professional model might often make a darned good photographer. We use Dee as an example of this last theory, because overall she might hold more universal interest than D.Minion, even with the funny shirt. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Dee Video, Michelle Lay Video]

Dee Peeks at Kristal Summers
10/17/13

Consider the concept of the Practical Homonym, these being words that may not technically “sound the same” but given the actualities of our speech patterns do in fact come across as identical to the ear. For example, Bijou spearheaded a track today which ended up being entitled “Minstrel Machinations,” but when she tried to explain the idea to the rest of us, we heard “Menstrual Machinations.” … Those seem different, really. … Fortunately we’re going with the former of those two concepts, so fear not. And if you think we made up the concept of the practical homonym, we can prove that we did not. Think about it: Country Music would not exist without it. So there. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Wendy Divine, Kylie Ireland Video] 

Merry Risque Minstrels
10/13/13

Name a famous anthropologist. OK. Now name one that never had anything to do with primates. Better yet, name a famous “-ologist” of any kind, not including the fictional ones on television or in books. Fortunately, around here we can illustrate our “-ologies” with all sorts of interesting things, for example Keri Windsor, or even the still happily married Wendy Divine and Eric Masterson. In fact, you can happily pretend you have never learned anything as a member here. Should that turn out to be true, however, and you at some point meet any of us in person, please lie about it. We’re fine with that, so long as you have fun. [STAR TAGS: Wendy Divine, Keri Windsor Video]

Keri Windsor … with a Secret
10/11/13

Everyone needs a friend they can go to with the really tough questions. And this friend should be available for most any emergency, at most any time. Well, not all of us can claim Dee fits into that category for them, but we can happily do so. She does seem a little confused when we call to ask her what kind of yellow mustard to buy or something — as if we’d call just to hear her voice or anything — but as long as she picks up the phone she sounds as adorable as ever. It has been going to voice mail a lot lately, though, so hopefully we won’t have anything other than condiment emergencies for a while. We should probably stop beginning every conversation with, “What are you wearing?” … [STAR TAGS: Dee, Cytherea]

Cytherea Without a Condiment Emergency
10/8/13

When Kristal Summers asks you do do something, you pretty much just agree quickly. When Kristal Summers asks you to do something that involves her being naked, well, you jump right to the task of helping the Selfie Supreme Diva. AND, when Kristal Summers asks you to do something that involves you getting naked with her … well, we honestly have no idea what happens then, because so far Kristal has been lacking in that department, truth be told. Hope springs eternal in Kristal’s breasts, though. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Chasey Lain, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

 

Kristal Summers on Herself
10/5/13

Today could have been all about our leader’s brother. Or it could have been all about our editor’s best friend from college, since both of them have birthdays today. On the other hand, Juli Ashton also has a birthday today, and without any empirical evidence to verify the claim, we’re pretty sure Juli looks better naked than either of those two fine gentlemen we mentioned. Even the illustrious Ms. Ashton had a beginning it appears, and D.Minion takes the opportunity to talk about it. Truth be told, D.Minion does not need much of an excuse to talk about Juli; when she has a real reason, it can get crazy. [STAR TAGS: Juli Ashton Video]

Juli Ashton
10/1/13

What do you call words that rhyme, but don’t look like they would? Take ”plaid” and “fad” for example. … Or what do you call words that could rhyme, but may not, depending upon how you pronounce one of them? You know, “lead” could rhyme with “fed” or we could “lead” you to Lake Meade. Fortunately your knowledge of semantic nuance makes absolutely no difference at all today, as you can consider plaid a fad, or not consider it at all. We do have various concurrent contributions from Cytherea, Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Summer Knight, Angela Stone, and a couple of amateur lesbians from Canberra to help as tour guides, by the way. Follow where they lead. Or lead others to where they lead. Or fed. Or whatever. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Summer Knight Video, Angela Stone Video, Sarah Blake, Thereza Love, Dani Woodward]

Sarah Blake, Not Wearing Plaid
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April 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/29/13 How many adult web sites can you think of that spend any time at all talking about the weather? Well, this one does, but in all honesty we have historically shunned any attempts to find out if people ever question our sanity. Seriously, what good can ever come of a question like that? At best you learn what you already know, and at worst … well, let’s just get on with our weather forecast with Keri Windsor, shall we? … Beats the heck out of some graphical map with a bunch of “Ls” and “Hs” all over it. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Keri Windsor Video]
Good Forecast
4/25/13 Apparently the NFL Draft begins tonight, with all sort of people simply thrilled beyond belief that they will have something new to talk about in a sport that will not even see competitive action for another five months or so. Of course these same people have been spending time listening to a radio station where people call in and ask what might hypothetically happen if any number of a lengthy string of variables turn out in one precise way. So there’s that. … All in all, the whole Ménage à Trois competition seems easier to understand, so we mainly consider that instead. [STAR TAGS: Meghan Sweet, Hanna Reilly, Jenna Jameson Video, Eva Tiffany Video]
football
4/21/13 April 22nd — a fine day in many regards — also happens to celebrate Earth Day once again, so we should be fruitful and multiply, or multiply some fruit trees, or conifers or something. You should probably not try to be overly fruitful with conifers in private, however, as that sounds like it might hurt. In our Risqué Business efforts to contribute to a Green Earth, we have thoughtfully provided some soothing activities for afterwards courtesy of Shayla LaVeaux and Wendy Divine, actually. Heck, you probably won’t even have time to look up the word deciduous. [STAR TAGS: Wendy Divine, Maya Divine, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]
Divine Relaxation Methods
4/20/13 Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.’ … With all due respect to the wonderful contributions to the world made by Ms. Keller, it still seems like it might be better to be able to see TJ Hart and Randy Spears today. Seriously, “heartfelt” takes on a whole new dimension. In the vein (speaking of hearts, and all), we would like to publicly thank Kylie Ireland for her ever-unique contributions to our little group. Also, we would like to apologize for our pundit influence on her team. … Um … Oops. [STAR TAGS: TJ Hart Video]
Shot through the hear, and we're to blame.
4/15/13 It would seem appropriate on this particular date in America to offer up some decidedly non-taxable benefits for our members. We even go so far as to tip our hats to the Living Art of Cytherea — happily without needing to declare those tips, per se. We fully intended to work the U.K. taxation system into this introduction as well until we realized that even as a group we understand their methodology even less than we understand our own. We did come up with a question, however: If you decide to masturbate in the “Loo,” does that make you Looney? [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com]
Shayla LaVeaux
4/9/13 Protracted political observations highlight our insights today, certainly destined to keep you awake at night trying to reconcile centuries-old principles with policy for a modern and progressive America. Or you might prefer to look at the fun photos Kristal Summers sends in from her cell phone, or even watch Kristal and Shayla in nude preparation for — well, predictable — future interaction. We of course think you should spend valuable time thinking about contemporary political issues, but have provided handy-dandy icons to skip over those wordy parts — just in case. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video]
Kristal Showing Both Sides.
4/6/13 We had a deeply thought-provoking and erudite (at least in a music history sense) introduction ready today, involving legends Tina Turner and Rod Stewart pairing for a grand display. Then someone (We will not mention who, but it rhymes with C.Minion) pointed out that Donny and Marie also sang It Takes Two. Basically that killed the whole idea. One can in fact know too much music history as it turns out. You will have to fill in your own intro for “What’s in Two Names?” Sorry about that. [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler, Jeanie Marie Sullivan Video]
Lee Stone and Jeanie Marie
4/1/13 Somewhere along the line we all learned that “fools rush in where brave men fear to tread.” Of course none of us really “tread” all that much anymore, preferring to mosey, chill, blend, or some other term you have to be freshly out of your teens to even know. Those with skills born of long experience among us may even saunter, but nobody treads. Of course by the time you may be reading this, we have no idea what the current expression for “hanging out” will be, but you should be doing that as you read some righteous news today. Groovy. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Sunny Leone, Julie Cash, Kylie Ireland Video, Julia Ann Video, Michael Ninn]
Strong Useful Friends
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November 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/29/12

In a wild fit of traditional journalistic glee, we set about actually researching a topic. We set out our questions. We found an expert in the field. We conducted an interview. We took careful notes before transcribing our masterpiece. … So that fact that we just happened to be asking Dee about the relative merits of computer geeks could have had something to do with our enthusiasm, but we don’t really get a chance to use the word journalistic around here very often, so we’re still happy. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Decoding Dee - Delightfully
11/26/12

We make ourselves feel better by believing that “all things happen for a reason,” but would we not all feel better that when things do happen they include this reason along with the event as a handy explanation? Of course we habitually eschew the morose at risqué and our bright side invariably includes beautiful naked women, so we’re thinking the relevant deities might not feel much of a need for justification in our case. … That probably makes sense, as does Alexis Ford in this context. [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis Ford Video, Ayla Marie]

Alexis Ford
11/24/12

Some clever person in the office noted that “Assassin” — when used in the risqué realm — sounds more like a three-way between a guy and two anal-friendly women than it does either a not very nice person or a video game. Then a different clever person pointed out that it could perhaps more easily refer to basically any scene in a gay male movie. That pretty much covered our “analysis” of the whole Ass-Ass-In concept, so we moved along to fixing a slight oversight in the shayla.com post a couple of days ago, helpfully this time with the assistance of Keri Windsor and a Kylie Ireland archive. All in all, Keri and Kylie were a lot more fun to consider that gay sex scenes. Of course we’re undoubtedly biased. [FEATURED TAGS: Keri Windsor, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland, Michael Ninn]

Keri
11/22/12

It may come as a bit of a surprise, but as a group we do not tend to be “gamers” in this office. New people always bring interesting new things into our lives, though, and thus we have recently learned that the new Assassin’s Creed III features the British military as the villains in the adventure. Thanksgiving seemed like the perfect chance for us to assure Maverick and his countrymen and women that nobody asked us about this decision before they did it. Obviously we would have simply deferred to Shayla, and she seems very friendly with new people. You can observe inputs (as it were) from both Mav and Shayla as you try to avoid the inevitable food comas later in the day. … Do save room for pie, however. Life’s short. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Excellent Foreign Relations
11/19/12

Dear and Decidedly Desirable Dee has determined to rejoin our (dare we say dysfunctional) Digital Division, and we welcome her back to the fold with … well, sadly nothing that starts with the letter “D” as it turns out. What we lacked in completing the alliterative avenue, however, we more than make up for with Dee’s request at a “redux” of some of her earliest Risqué Commune work — this time of the DP variety as a matter of fact. Speaking of Dee’s folds … [FEATURED TAGS: Dee Video, Tina Tyler, Michael Ninn]

Dee's Desires Unfolding, As it Were
11/17/12

If you have three C’s and a pair of D’s you probably have Cytherea on the Central Coast — topless. Of course you could have Cytherea and that weird triple-breasted woman from the old Star Trek episode, but none of us will admit to knowing anything at all about old Star Trek episodes, so let’s just go with the Cytherea Topless at a friend’s house bit. By the way, does anyone know the trouble with tribbles? [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video]

Cytherea Victorious.
11/13/12

Other than our friends Ernest Greene and Kylie Ireland, we can’t really think of very many people that think foreplay requires a fine collection of soft ropes, assorted gags (not the funny kind), and various incarnations of whipping devices. It seems, though, that we need to add Summer Cummings into that group, as she aptly demonstrates today with the buxom assistance of Kristal Summers. One thing we have learned, case in point via D.Minion today, if you want to make very large breasts look even larger, ropes can assist you. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie]

Kristal Summers
11/10/12

Ah, politics. … We decided to transition from the political world at least slightly with a memorable dip into the fantasy pool with Cytherea. As burglars go, one could think of a lot worse suspects to catch outside there home in the dead of night seems obvious. Of course the thing about politics that perhaps set it apart has to be that half the people think it IS fantasy, and the other half — generally the losers — wish with all their hearts that it were. Naturally our industry remains particularly well suited for the arena, however. After all, we’re all used to strange bedfellows. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Flesh on Flashlight
11/7/12

Regardless of how an election turns out, you always end up with two primary groups of people. One will be running around spouting brief exclamations such as, “Yippee!” (or in our case, “What Ho!”). And you will be able to quickly pick out the other collection of individuals by their glum faces and glazed stares that convey a distinct “How the hell did this happen?” feel. While the woulda, shoulda, coulda faction decides which lawyers to hire, we have decided to move along with Kristal Summers, her activities being particularly pertinent today. As painful as today may feel for the losing sides right now, however, we would still advise them to cherish these feelings. Wait until they get the money estimates from the attorneys. That’ll put a whole new meaning on woulda, shoulda, coulda … . [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Cytherea]

Kristal
11/5/12

Unlike all the television commercials you have grown completely sick of over the last three months (or longer, depending) we do not actually care for whom or what you vote for tomorrow. We do, however, care a great deal about whether you vote at all. Even putting aside all the potentially viable arguments that your one vote will not make any difference because by nightfall we often “know” who won anyway, voting serves a vital public interest. You may in fact affect local elections or propositions, after all, and besides, you could find it very useful in the coming weeks and months. Even if your side loses, you can always say later when everything runs amok, “Hey. It’s not my fault. I voted the other way.” [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Erica McLean Video]

Shayla
11/1/12

Rarely can a vast majority of people agree on anything, but it seems safe to say that regardless of one’s political affiliations, we are ALL tired of all the television commercials telling us how we should feel. In the background of one local spot this week, though, we spied a poster on the wall behind some woman talking about something or other. At this point we have no idea what she was for or against, but the poster said, “When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.” We feature our own political correspondent today in Kylie Ireland, and we do plan to ask her what the current posters on her walls say. How did people live before TIVO? That must have been hard. [FEATURED TAGS: Kylie Ireland]

Kylie
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July 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

7/30/12

Maintaining our Risqué ne’er say intrepid reporter philosophy, our keen operatives managed to catch up with the Queen after she had parachuted into Olympic Stadium. Arriving with James Bond in time for the Opening Ceremonies. we can report the Queen “shaken, but not stirred” — just in case you were curious. … OK. So we made that up, we didn’t really see the Queen, and overall the word “intrepid” fits many more of us than it does not. Still, while the Queen might be interested in our discussion of homonyms, she might not appreciate the illustrations, primarily provided by Cytherea today. … On the other hand, London does have a fancy new Aquatics Centre, and our buddy Cy could bring a whole new level of interest to that particular place. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Ann Harlow Video, MichaelNinn.com]

Cytherea Keen on the Queen
7/27/12

Hey! Did you know that America has a two-time Gold Medal fencing champion? Well, when she gets done with these Olympics, we’re going to try and get her to go spend some time at Steve’s house, because his chickens keep getting out. He could use one of those fencing experts for a few days. … Until then, of course, we will be diligently watching the event which always teaches us not only the wide range of bizarre sports that constitute Olympic events, but also demonstrates the distinct value of having a television set in the office. We will probably keep including various beautiful women displayed in various sexual situations too; that is, after all, what we do. Consequently for our “Opening Ceremonies” we begin with Kristal Summers and An Analysis of MILF Relativity. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Deauxma Video, Cate Harrington Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

MILF Relativity
7/24/12

Gauging from the national weather service, should one wish to spend some time in Dallas these days, one would be well advised to do so via the Dallas XXX variety courtesy of Adam & Eve. D.Minion offers up her Day Two Tribute this time around, and all of the naked photos of Bobbi Starr and Alexis Ford might even get you to ignore all ones of the puppy. She was a cute little thing, though; we’ll have to give her that — the dog, we mean. Bobbi and Alexis passed “cute” a long time ago. So far we have yet to see a canine that falls into the “sexy as hell” category, and we’re just fine with that actually. [FEATURED TAGS: Bobbi Starr Exclusive Video, Alexis Ford, AdamAndEve.com]

Bobbi Starr
7/21/12

D.Minion has taken her annual “Girls’ Weekend Away” again, thus leaving no one around to keep the company rudder from taking us, well, who knows where? While we do happen to be smart enough not to point out that a “weekend” for most people does not in fact equal five full days, we somehow always forget all the really important things D.Minion leaves behind in her copious notes. Honestly, as far as any of us can remember, not one single person has ever read even one of those notes, and yet DM persists in their creation time and time again. Since we do realize that only members will be able to see what chaos we have wrought this time around, we did decide to pass along the same Secret to Happiness in Life that we always provide for D.Minion: Lowered Expectations. … See? Now you can go to bed content, even if you’re not a Member. Of course to be Really Happy you should be, but that will be a topic for another day. Right now we’re not expecting much. [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Keri Windsor Video, Charlie Video, Shayla LaVeaux, 247AdultStars.com]

Keri Windsor and Julia Ann
7/16/12

Even adult industry members can do good deeds and care about culture and society in general. … Gosh. Who knew, right? … Well, we’re still in the process of sorting the massive amounts of Shayla LaVeaux we acquired last week, along with the smaller amount, but equally as fun, “data” on Cytherea, but D.Minion has already picked out her most ominous photograph “since forever” (according to her). While we talk about (and hopefully promote) a wonderful cause on tap in the next couple of weeks we will leave to you the task of figuring out our perhaps not quite as wonderful — but still quite hysterical — pun. You see, while encouraging the protection of domestic animals and their rescue shelters we decided to illustrate with moving pictures of a slang expression for cat. We’re clever that way. [FEATURED TAGS:  Julia Ann Video, Brea Bennett Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Hot Topic
7/15/12

The alleged leaders have returned from the latest “content acquisition vacation” which historically has proven to be an optimum collection of new material to roll out over the next few months: We ended up with more than we thought we would, but a little less than we had hoped for. While we sit down and try to bring some sense of organization to the thousands of files we thought it best to return with an easy volley. When you have Kristal Summers and Shayla LaVeaux to help pass the time, life seems pretty good as it turns out — even if it can be confusing. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Wrestling with Kristal’s Life
7/9/12

Come to find out, when your “B-Cup” runneth over in D.Minion’s office it has nothing to do with your bra size. Rather than spend too much time on the dangerous road that is DM’s mind, though, we decided to offer up a dandy gift in the persons of Kristal Summers and Lola — interestingly in Vegas at the time of this shoot. You see, the leaders head out today, also en route to Las Vegas and what they assure the rest of us will be “nothing but work” for the week. Of course we don’t believe them, but we do enjoy Kristal and Lola gifts — particularly when enhanced by Shayla and Cytherea. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Lola Video, Juli Ashton Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee]

The Dee Drop In
7/4/12

All of us have become quite familiar with scope of accomplishments over our lives. Those possessing a bit of the wisdom that comes with age — mental or literal — have learned to celebrate both major and minor perspectives in fact. Given our place in the digital entertainment environment, we decided that putting a distinctly risqué slant (as it were) on the more traditional celebrations of Independence on this Day would be just the thing to help situations heat up in the afternoon before exploding at night. … If you got more than Bar-B-Que and Fireworks out of that allusion, then you understand our aims completely. Think Labia when you consider both Major and Minor. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Shayla LaVeaux Helping the Celebration
7/1/12

Just a little bit of thought would seem to support the theory that not very many posts on an adult web site end with a prayer, but around here we have learned one of life’s most important lessons — if not the most important: Play the hand you’re dealt. … With that in mind, you should probably be aware that much of today’s discussion centers around Kristal Summers’ delightful derrière, so the religious overtones are slight. … Well, come to think of it, a great many people, when viewing Kristal’s butt for the first time, often seem to exclaim, “Oh, dear God … .” [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Summer Cummings Exclusive Video, Goldie Exclusive Video]

This butt. Something else too.
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