A Healthy Level of Insanity
by DeeAspirations do not simply dissolve into a fine mist — at least not for women that for a time chose to have sex on camera for a living. Just because people stop making porn movies for a living doesn’t mean they drop off the face of the planet. True, some of them “repent” their youth, and a greater percentage of them need to pretend to do so in order to please the new husband, but that’s just the nature of Love (with a capital “L“). Ain’t it grand? At any rate, Dee has been watching the goings on around here with what we can probably describe most accurately as bemused interest. Late Friday she sent us a list of ways to help maintain one’s sanity in the face of too much work to accomplish. Naturally we felt obliged to share these compelling ideas with you. We have found it beneficial over the years to keep Dee happy. Go figure.
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars to seeif they slow down.
- On all your check stubs, write, “For Marijuana.”
- Skip down the street singing “Hi-HO. Hi-Ho. It’s off to work I go … ” and see how many people join in.
- Order a Diet Water (with a serious face) whenever you go out to eat.
- Sing along at the opera.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “Run for your lives!They’re loose!”
- Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
- Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy. Go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.