In For A Penny …
by D.Minion
When I’m not watching porn (purely for research reasons, of course), I like to watch what I call, “Thank God That’s Not Me” shows. I enjoy The Dog Whisperer because, “Thank God Akasha and Buda are very well behaved!” I like Jon and Kate Plus Eight and the Dugger Family because, “Thank God I don’t have all those kids!” [The rest of us regularly think, “Thank God I don’t live with D.Minion. … By the way, although ostensibly talking about Penny Flame today, we should mention that the few photos that accompany this editorial are not of Penny. Theoretically The Boss will explain why we’re using them on the video page. If not, well, that’s SEP in Douglas Adams’ world.]
But my new favorite program is Dr. Drew’s Sex Rehab. “Thank God I don’t have those problems!” Although I have great sympathy for people who do. [OK. So we’ve already said our bit about famous people having lots of sex in the New Stuff opening, but in all seriousness this does seem to be an affliction that most of us have trouble even seeing this as a potential issue. Drink too much? … Got it. … Use illegal drugs? … Completely understand. But like sex too much? To the point it starts taking over your life? … That’s a tough one. Of course, we’re in the porn business, so we’re probably not the most objective judges on the topic.] For those who may have missed it, Sex Rehab takes a handful of self-professed sex addicts, and in three weeks, rehabilitates them so that they can become fully functioning members of society. [Isn’t it amazing what television can do in three weeks? Why don’t we just make Health Care, the War in Afghanistan, Unemployment, and The Budget Deficit all programs on FOX? Heck, we could have this whole country back running happily along by the end of sweeps week in November.]
Adult star Penny Flame was one of the patients in the last installment. I’ve been on set with her on two different Michael Ninn movies, and was impressed not only with her beauty and sexuality, but also with her intelligence, her sense of humor, and her zest for life! (Besides, we went to the same college, albeit 20 years apart, so she’s got that going for her!) [We have to tell you that when D.Minion learned that her undergrad school regularly ranks in the “Top Ten Party Schools in America” she was stunned. Apparently very few parties broke out in the library. So when D.Minion mentions anything about her college, you need to consider that with a big ol’ tablespoon of that hefty kosher salt.]
