These come from a time some 23 years after my introduction to Mr. Norman and Baby Wicked where I once again found myself trying to just shut up and learn. At last year’s AEE, Kylie Ireland and her hubby Andy popped into the room to shoot a segment with Shayla for their podcast radio show called “Apples and Pairs” — a name picked in tribute to Andy’s last name and Kylie’s, well, pair. Sadly, that segment didn’t air before the duo dropped the project in lieu of something weird — like making actual money or something — so I never got to hear how it all came out. You can learn a lot by watching the process and then experiencing the final result, but if you miss the second part, you just basically have watched a process. Of course Kylie had very few clothes on most of the time, so that made it all worthwhile regardless.

D.Minion took these shots, and we certainly won’t be entering them into any fine art competitions or anything, but they do show some of the technical machinations behind the presentation of adult stars, and I have always found that interesting. I remember being absolutely stunned on my first movie set when I learned that you do not shoot movies in the chronological order of the script. Basically you shoot everything you need for the movie in one room, then light another area and move on to that location. You shoot all the stuff you need there, and continue the process until theoretically you have shot the entire show, and the editor can now make it the masterpiece you all envisioned.

I had vast experience with stage productions, but with those you really do need to start on page one and keep going in a linear fashion until you finish, or else you’re going to get really bad reviews. Having said that, now that I think about it, if we wrote a short story, and then every night just threw the pages up in the air before presenting them in the exact way we picked them up off the floor, some fancy-schmancy New York reviewer would probably consider it genius and we’d get a Broadway run. (By the way, if you want to finance something like this, we can certainly write it for you.)

By the way (That’s how people used to spell “btw” if you can believe that.), D.Minion specifically asked us to point out the purple headphones that Kylie had for the A&P show, but she did not explain the request. After careful consideration, I have decided that this explains how you know you have worked with someone a very long time. They give you some instruction that seem patently odd on its surface, and you don’t even bother to ask why.

It could be you have simply gained Knowledge. Could be you have just gotten used to the Carnival. …