We’ll pretty much consider anything as a topic if it leads to a discussion of female masturbation. We’re quirky that way. And every group needs a leader, of course. Well if you’ve spent any time at all as a member in the Risque Communes you’ve undoubtedly become familiar with D.Minion, our resident Queen of Quirk. This time around she somehow manages to take Lala X, a British adult actress, and meld her into a special Love, American Style. As you probably guessed, we are in fact talking about the television show that ran 40 years ago. … See? … Quirky, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Lala X Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com ]

If you spend some of your free time reading, you’ll occasionally run across some wonderful quotes. For example, John D. MacDonald wrote, “Life is the process of finding out, too late, everything that should have been obvious to you at the time.” Now the fine author penned this pithy observation in The Only Girl in the Game, but to be fair, we actually discovered it as the introduction in Paul Levine’s Slashback. After such a literary introduction of our own, you might think that we’d be on an intellectual quest today, perhaps explicating a poem by John Donne and dealing with a rather different form of conceit than the adult industry usually provides, this of the metaphysical sort. … Naw. We’re just letting D.Minion rant about how she hates to miss things and remembering fondly the first time we got to see Cytherea’s new boobs. … We all enjoy life’s callings a little differently. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea]

Most of us have probably heard the saying “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” – or some sort of variation on that translation. Many of us, however, might be surprised to learn that the quote does not come from the book Of Mice and Men, but rather comes from a really old poem by Robert Burns, which inspired the name of the aforementioned book. Sadly neither Mr. Burns, or the excellent author John Steinbeck ever got a chance to photograph Cytherea taking a bath, and we feel sorry for them. As for the members, you can look up the poem if you want, but looking at Cytherea would probably be a lot more fun. Because we’re kind and like to give hints, the relevant lines in the poem read literally, “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an ‘men / Gang aft a-gley” (ouch) while Cytherea in a tub reads like the photo here. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Wendy Divine]

Do you know how you can tell if you’re bowling with Cytherea? At some point in the evening the PA announcer will utter the words, “Wet cleanup on Alley 11” in one variation or another. (True story.) … Not everything that porn people do in life has to do with being nude and sweaty, shocking as that may seem, and this time around we’re celebrating that fact to rather lengthy extent. Heather Vandeven and Michelle Maylene drop by to help D.Minion’s story (thus the “lengthy” part of the description), and then you can pop over to Cy’s site in case you missed her update earlier this week. Come to think of it, you can watch her “prepare” for bowling, although you’ll still need to bring along your own sweat, assuming you find that appropriate. We figure you can handle that part. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Heather Vuur Exclusive Video, Heather Vandeven Exclusive Video, Michelle Maylene Exclusive Video, Nicki Hunter]

Doing some of the most normal things in life can take on an … let’s go with unusual … twist when you do them with porn stars. Of course given the choice between the normal and the not, everyone in this business would choose the latter. Look at it this way: We wouldn’t have chosen this profession if we felt at all typical in our overall approach to life. Allegedly time will tell if we’ve chosen the right path, but until then, everyone should lobby for the chance to make ice cream with Shayla LaVeaux. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jessica Drake, Phoenix Ray, Dolorian, Evan Stone]

Should you be reading this historically, you won’t notice any difference, but those looking at it currently certainly will. As almost all of you know by now, for the last week or so we (along with millions of others in cyberland) have been under attack by an admittedly quite smart, but altogether nefarious character nonetheless. For the first time in our history we actually got “cracked” and have been frantically dealing with the aftermath for some time now. Finding the leak, as it were, is nothing compared to repairing all the damage done, if you want to know the truth. We’ve got it all locked down again now, better than ever ironically enough, and we’ve got a bunch of stuff backed up in the queue which we’ll rebuild quickly. We’ll catch up. We always do. And we do so elegantly, as you can tell from the picture of Shayla here. [FEATURED TAGS: Adult Entertainment Expo 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Cheyenne Silver, Rayveness, Stormy Daniels, Kayden Kross, Sophie Dee, Bobbi Star, Stoya, Ginger Lynn, Monique Alexander, Faye Reagan, Jesse Jane, Jenna Haze, Tori Black, Alexis Texas, Jessica Drake, Alektra Blue]