Andie Valentino and Kelly Franklin

Andie Valentino: Want Somebody to Love

That emotional stroke lights the Professional Fire in performers. (Males would be in a different category altogether, but we have never found them nearly as interesting, so we pretty much shamelessly ignore them. Consider it a personality flaw.)

Andie clearly had a plan. She may have even been one of those extremely rare individuals who mislead those innocent porn websites by clicking the “I am over 18” buttons on a landing page when she had not actually reached that legal age. Obviously nobody ever does that, because otherwise there would be more stringent protections in place, right? (This could explain why Risqué never puts nudity on free areas of the web in fact, but that would be a different discussion.)

Now perhaps the prime value of a gonzo production stems from its ability to showcase people in as close to their natural (public) state as may be possible considering the recording environment. So as you watch the performance of a young Andie Valentino with a foreign woman 30% older than she happened to be at the time, you may be able to draw your own conclusions. For our part, we did not believe the “never done this before” bit any more than we bought the “they told me no one else would ever see this” speech. (Sorry, Paris Hilton: If you do not sign a release, they cannot release your “private” movie.)

Truth be told, you meet some very interesting people in this business. Her name escapes me now — and I wouldn’t repeat it here even if I remembered — but back in the heyday of the Management Business I did have a young women come to the office to talk about representation who claimed she was a virgin and wanted to specifically market that angle. We talked for a bit, and after she left I gave my impressions to the folks in the office. (There were usually four or five people around at any given time, hanging out, browsing the internet, comparing stories about various penises — the normal things.) I told everyone we had learned one of two things about the young lady who had just left. She was either (A) a liar, or (B) completely crazy. Also, we wanted nothing to do with either of those things.

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