[We do a variety of different sorts of updates in the Risqué Commune, so we thought we’d throw in an example from the “TOC” (Table of Contents) section just for fun. We created the section basically for Gonzo movies — the kind where you can basically tell the entire conceit simply from the title, and all the dialogue falls into the extemporaneous category. We value diversity here overall, and some here argue that people watch these movies for more than just the plot and insightful social commentary. Seems weird, but we do try and listen to the younger folks sometimes too, whether they have Asian eyes or not.]
Asian Eyes for White Guys
by Cull Chur
This movie is about … well, pretty much what you’d guess this movie to be about. As a rule, gonzo companies do not strive for subtlety, one will find.
Now we were going to write suitably clever song lyrics taken from The Eyes of Texas, but some people here felt that would have been too obscure for our younger audience. Presumably they would not have been able to piece together the tune from a stanza beginning, “The Asian Eyes, they are upon us.”
Of course when we tried to point out that … (A) We happen to be experts at obscure around Risqué, generally celebrating it in fact, and (B) The author today happens to be a member of that group they thought would not understand the reference … no minds were changed. It was sad. Even without the tune, how tough would it be to grasp, “Though you’d never wish escape them, at night or early in the morn’?” we wondered aloud.
“Can you just talk about the people and the movie?” came the response.
So … FAUGH! (And the old folks can look that up too.)
As gonzo movies go this one has a collection of Asian women having sex with white guys. Did that help?
OK. So aside from their “Asian Eyes” ethnicity — which still seems a tad racist to celebrate as a sales pitch in the title (unless the company recently sold to a group of Asian women, which it did not) — these happen to be fairly fun scenes as minimal setup and extemporaneous dialogue goes. Personal trainer providing exceptional service, even though he found himself very shocked by the sexual advances of the client. Charity worker going above and beyond to secure the donation. Pool boy doing all the expected extras in a movie of this sort, because no woman that looks like Lana Violet has any luck at all finding someone to have sex with her unless she invites them over on some pretense. And finally … Nick Manning.
At least this last scene has the benefit of Nick being Nick, which always entertains. He sounds like a caricature of himself even when he’s just making up lines in a movie. Granted some believe Nick already more caricature than character in real life, but we have spent many, many hours with Mr. Manning over the years, and beg to differ. He’s quite simply just having fun. All the time. … Which would kind of be the point here, right? We’re not exactly saving the world in this industry. At best we provide a necessary service. Nick makes it more enjoyable. Simple.
Oh. Harp arpeggio to dream sequence starring London Keyes. Can’t say we all have not had a few of those ourselves, actually.
Asian Eyes Wisdom
It may not be a winning parody of The Eyes of Texas, but that woman can sure play a tune in our story. Still, the song would have been a better way to say all that, right?
At this point you should be overwhelmed with desire to immediately drop down twenty bucks to JOIN us. We have many, many pretty pictures and videos. Not to mention words. Some of those will make you laugh out loud. And groan. Some will make you do that too. (Sorry. It’s pretty much always oh, pun season around here.)
