Filed Under: KylieIreland.com

February 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

2/28/14	Our Head Writer ends her trilogy we call “Oui the People at AEE 2014” today, although for now she has resisted a growing movement suggesting she change her name from “D.Minion” to “B.Moaning” after reading her assessment of the younger adults targeting in the annual AVN convention. Fittingly we conclude with one of those Could be Hall of Fame performers, risqué favorite Tori Black. Tori may have been underrepresented at this year’s show, but she sure makes all of us want to buy a house with a pool. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Tori Black Video]
2/24/14	Well, the Winter Olympics have now concluded leaving behind a few ecstatic individuals and the entire U.S. Figure Skating and Men’s Hockey teams wondering what the heck just happened. Bronco fans know how they feel, and being the helpful sort, a few of them put together a consideration of this year’s Best New Starlet contenders, most of whom also know exactly how many of us feel right now. They look a heck of a lot better feeling that way than we do, though. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Melody Jordan, Jodi Taylor, Raven Rockette, Casey Calvert, AJ Applegate, Cindy Starfall, Kennedy Leigh, Rikki Six, Jessa Rhodes, Lacy Rose Video]
2/21/14	For a moment there we began to wonder if the leaders of the U.S. Olympic Women’s Hockey Team had been replaced by members of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Then we realized that the women actually kept the championship game very close, so that couldn’t have been the problem. We will say that as Part II of D.Minion’s Convention Überview, though, we make it pretty easy to forget all about the Bronco coaches. Video featuring Celeste Star, Charlie Lain, Carli Banks, and Nevaeh make that quite possible. Throw in a little “Countrified Shayla LaVeaux” and you’ll be hyperventilating for an entirely different reason than silly old football players. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards 2014, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Shy Love, Celeste Star Video, Charlie Lain Video, Nevaeh Video, Carli Banks Video]
2/19/14	You can spend your time considering various arguments on the merits of the Winter Olympics today. Or you can spend your time thanking Kirk for this impromptu Kristal Summers coverage — or more accurately uncoverage, technically. Of course that may not even be a real word, but you honestly won’t care in just a little bit. Call it a hunch. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]
2/17/14	An old adage can be very helpful. If it does not exactly help you understand a situation more clearly, at least it gives you a quick way to hide your ignorance of accurate details. Sometimes, however, they just don’t seem to apply — Age before beauty, for example. … What if you have both? What if you have always had both? Fortunately on Dee’s birthday we avoid odd questions like this and simply celebrate her. Simple is good, and Dee is excellent! [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Adaja Video]
2/14/14	Top vote-getters amongst the staff for most romantic song to play for a loved one today tied between Wind Beneath My Wings and I Will Always Love You, although we did have someone choose AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, so there’s that. At least this goes to show that we maintain our unique way of looking at things, a stance evidenced by the first of D.Minion’s AEE reports. She calls the three-part series Gestalt Vault this time around, mostly because she did not find “Cryptic Triptych” nearly as funny as some of us did. Hey, we like Dolly Parton songs; clearly we can’t be trusted as any sort of barometer of normalcy. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Christy Canyon, Monique Alexander Video, Jessica Drake, Sunny Lane, Celeste Star, Tori Black, Charmane Star, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
2/10/14	Apparently some people take figure skating very seriously. So when you offer an innocent commentary on the current Olympic team, some people can get quite irritated, and claim we’re being mean. … Hey, it’s not our fault that one of them looks like she took her makeup clues from Tim Curry’s character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and another one bears an eery resemblance to the human version of a hammerhead shark. They’re probably both kind, loving, wonderful people. But facts are facts, just like the hundredth of a second that can mean the difference between being remembered in the history books and being remembered only at your mom’s house. All in all, we decided Tiffany Mynx has a lot going for her, and she’s not in the least bit controversial. We will likely remember her for a very long time. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Tiffany Mynx Video]
2/6/14	Home, Home on the Range would be a lot more interesting if everyone could take Madison Chandler along for the ride. Covered Wagon. Mercedes. Whatever … Some people just make the journey a lot more enjoyable. When D.Minion talks about it, naturally, it can get a little weird, to go along with the enjoyable part, but who wants a boring path anyway? Besides who can avoid laughing with a belle from North Carolina tries to communicate with a chap from England? Giddyup! [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler Exclusive Video, Nikki Lee Young]
2/3/14	You ever have one of those weekends where you simply cannot remember a darned thing? Well, we have decided to classify this past one in just such a fashion. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. We do have Shayla coming out of — or technically going into — the closet to help distract us, though. Some things you just don’t want to remember. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

X360 Sex Awards Show

When you ask a Hall of Fame porn performer to take pictures at a “Sex Awards Show” you never know exactly what you will get. When you approach Kylie Ireland for some Sex Awards Show insights, it can get even stranger. Those of you that know Kylie will certainly know that she can tend toward the “wacky” end of life’s spectrum, but that beats the heck out of the “boring” end for sure.

Kylie also happens to be a good photographer in her own right, and she also knows everyone so her “access” would probably different that most of us could get. Of course the days of quality photographs requiring big bulky equipment have long since passed, as everyone has a camera on their cell phone that will work for almost all web applications. Honestly none of us listed technical quality as one of the requirements for this assignment anyway.

Sex Awards Show Secrets

After filtering through all the “oh, we can’t really write about that and still be nice” options in this category, Kylie did return with one interesting bit of Panic Innovation.

As you might imagine, adult movie stars do not as a rule tend to be people that fall definitively into the “shy” category. That said, you might be surprised at how “normal” you would find them if you ever saw them getting ready to appear on stage. So when something happens to disrupt an already precarious balance on calmness, it can get tense. Fortunately for almost all these sorts of shows, they tend to be filled with all sorts of people used to dealing with pressure situations. (Try having an orgasm on cue when it’s 3:00 in the morning, 40 degrees outside, and everyone is waiting for you to finish so they can go home after a 20-hour day.)

It seems that right before our old buddy jessica drake got called to go on stage, the dress she has prepared suddenly picked that time to pop a zipper. Now you change clothes a lot as a hostess for a Sex Awards Show, and no one build in any “options” for a situation like this. Being accompanied by long-tenured Wicked director Brad Armstrong helped a lot though. Brad — certainly one of the most self-actualized men we have ever known — leapt in with the sewing kit and literally stitched jessica into her dress. Then they cut it off to accomplish the next change. … No word on how the event promoters handled the news of the destroyed garment, but jessica is not famous for wearing cheap outfits.

On the other hand this gives you an accurate insight into how veteran directors and producers handle time-sensitive scenarios: They get it done and worry about the money later. As you may have discerned, sometimes it might a lot better to be a director or producer, rather than, say, an owner.

You may see the full account of the evening elsewhere on the risque site — on the free side too, no less. One thing about awards shows, at least people almost always wear clothes. (Not Misty Rain, but that will be a story for another day.)

Kylie on Instagram. We told you she can take pictures.

Stars:Kylie Ireland

Location:Los Angeles

Setting:Appearance

Technique:Editorial

Related Sites:KylieIreland.com

January 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/14	Probably not very many adult companies have a Dolly Parton quote framed in their entry way, but we do. During an interview one time, Dolly said, “People have no idea how much money it costs to look this cheap.” … And why might this make us think of the adult industry instead of country music? Well, people probably have no idea. … [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Natasha Marley, Jessica Drake Video, Monique Alexander Video, Nikki Fairchild Video, Olivia Del Rio, Bailey Blue, Celeste Star, Sunny Lane, Jayden James, Jessica James, Shy Love, Kennedy Leigh, Jessa Rhodes]
1/28/14	One of our all-time favorite adult industry quotes came to us from Alex deRenzy who explained, “If they’re looking at my furniture, I ain’t doing my job.” … Sometimes you need to take a step back and think about the bigger picture, a task we approach both directly and subtly today. You may need to pay attention, though, because having Kristal Summers in addition to a lesbian orgy can make your thoughts wander to more immediate considerations. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Marie Luv Video, Ruby Knox Video, Lana Croft Video, Eva Angelina Video, Sammie Rhodes Video, Sindee Jennings Video, 247AdultStars.com]
1/25/14	How do you provide a Gestalt View of a ceremony where they give out serious awards for Best Blow Job — and women cry if they do not win? Well, every year we try to do that, and every year we think, “My, but this seems like an odd thing to do.” … In every walk of life, some things just go with the territory, though. In a porn life, they just tend to be surreal on occasion. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Samantha Saint]
1/22/14	We blast back into the membership business today, fresh from yet another fascinating (and regularly unclothed) trip to Las Vegas. OK. So maybe “blast” should be “crawl” if we find striving for complete accuracy to be important, but folks are blasting through the organization of a “boatload” of new assets even as we speak. Interestingly enough, our web site assets often include part of that word literally. [STAR TAGS: Inari Vachs]
1/12/14	Visions of sprinkle donuts dance in some heads at risqué, while entirely different sorts of naked beauty dominate the thoughts of others. Now we wouldn’t want to tell anyone what they “should” enjoy, so we’ll go on record as saying should you prefer to enjoy Jayden Cole in D.Minion’s “Cole-Hearted Thriller” while you eat donuts, well, we will be just fine with that. Assuming we make it back from Vegas again, we’ll see you in a week. We’ll tell you all about it. [STAR TAGS: Jayden Cole Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Video, Kristal Summers Video, Dee Video]
1/8/14	For future reference let us give you a little advice that you probably do not hear every day: If at all possible, you should try really, really hard NOT to be in Pasadena on the day of the college national football championship game — at least if they happen to be playing that game at the Rose Bowl. Trust us: a quarter million drunken tourists are a lot more fun if you just watch them on television. We tend to learn by doing, however, a point to which at least a couple of the new people here can attest. As “BAAB” considers the role of Powerful Women, she does an admirable job of elevating females without being overly “BAAB to the Bone” … . (Sorry, George.) [STAR TAGS: Melissa Monet Video, London Keyes, Elexis Malone]
1/4/14	To paraphrase Ron White — a pastime we rather enjoy, as you may already know — “Once you’ve seen one woman naked, you pretty much want to see them all.” Understanding that sentiment, we feel for poor Maverick and Steve who will be absent from all the naked ladies in Vegas this year. We didn’t want them to feel too badly, though, so we put together a “broad selection” (as it were, should you be one of the more politically incorrect out there) in order that they might pass the time while we’re away. We said we feel bad for them, not that we won’t have an excellent time teasing them. [STAR TAGS: Happy New Year!]
1/1/14	So what happens when two porn stars take a bath together? … Um … If you cannot answer that question without checking out our “answer” inside, then maybe you should think about joining a different kind of site. We’re not certain, but there are probably excellent ones on like internal combustion engines, or model rockets — something like that. For our part, even though we don’t use “fuel” per se, we have been known to cause a controlled explosion or two. We see no reason to change that course this HAPPY NEW YEAR! [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cheyenne Silver Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

November 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

11/28/13	Wow. For the first time in a really long time a major religious celebration falls on Thanksgiving. Of course the fact that we had to call a friend in order to get the spelling correct for “Chanukah” might indicate that some of us failed the religious fervor standard this week. On the other hand, we do understand that this means at least a good percentage of the Brits will be celebrating with us today, and for some reason they don’t usually do that on Thanksgiving. Weird. … We have our own special party on tap, though, with Kylie, Kaylan, and Cytherea — and we promise you will not have to wait until 2165 to enjoy them again. [STAR TAGS: Kaylan Nicole Video, Cytherea Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Dee Video, Serenity Video, Kristal Summers Video, Alexis DeVell, Jeanna Fine, Paula Price]
11/24/13	Oddly enough, we actually have a “Fox in a Box” on tap today, or at least once you see more of Chantelle Fox, you will likely want to tap her. Whatever. … You might also learn a little bit more about some of the Risque Tributaries in our history, about which you may or may not care, in all likelihood. The odds of you not appreciating Shayla as she explores “Sage Before Booty” seem very low, however. You should probably take a chance. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Anais, Kaylan Nicole, Chasey Lain, Juli Ashton, Phaedra Alexis, Vicca, Chantelle Fox Video, 247AdultStars.com]
11/18/13	Acceding to the wishes of a slight, but occasionally vocal, minority of paid members, D.Minion and her also slight, but pretty much always vocal, “chickadees” have decreed that we need make effort to publish “smaller” updates on occasion. Apparently the risque ladies believe that people have other things to do in life besides enjoying, in this case, Kristal Summers, Becca, and Cytherea. That seems weird, right? Can that be true? [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Becca, Cytherea]
11/14/13	Profanity, at least according to mom, represents the efforts of a feeble mind to express itself. While we hate to argue with mom, sometimes, “Oh, darn” just doesn’t seem to capture the mood accurately. That said, when you have Kristal Summers around to help you feel better, a certain profane word might come to mind as both a verb and an exclamation. [STAR TAGS: Sophia, Renna Ryan, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, Kasey Storm Video, Kristal Summers Video, Michael Ninn, 247AdultStars.com]
11/12/13	Eight times as many people will get married today as one could normally expect, simply because of the whole 11-12-13 thing. This would make it easier to remember one’s anniversary, probably, but considering the divorce rate these dates, perhaps a countdown symmetry would seem more appropriate. Interestingly enough, no matter which way we count around here, we still come up with a bevy of sexually adventurous women. Come to think of it, were more women inclined this way, perhaps that would increase the marriage rate. Or maybe the divorce rate. We really can’t be sure. [STAR TAGS: Becca Video]
11/7/13	Over the years we have become friends with a lot of people honestly ahead of their time. Truth be told, we have met a great many more people that could be so far ahead of their time as to make their connection with contemporary society essentially meaningless, but they seem to be happy too, so who would we be to judge? We have chosen a simple path filled with porn stars of myriad personality — many times several of them in the same star — but again, why be critical? Why not just enjoy a little retrospect on a Carrera that never needed the “Turbo” to be darned impressive. [STAR TAGS: Asia Carrera Video]
11/5/13	If we torment a member of the Risque Crew ourselves, that would be just fine, naturally, but we cannot have circumstances beyond our control make poor Uncle Gibby weep. On the off chance that there might one or two of you out there that do not care one whit that the Mighty Packers lost at home to the arch-rival Bears last night, well, you may find an entirely different kind of solace in our mood-brightening efforts today. As D.Minion says often, “We just want everyone to be happy.” If we have to employ Anais, Dee, and beer to accomplish that goal, well, we are up to the task. [STAR TAGS: Dee, Sandee Westgate Video, Anais Exclusive Video]
11/2/13	You know what the world really needs more of if at all possible? Right! … Porn Awards Shows. … We need to give potentially short-sighted young adults the chance to feel really, really bad about themselves because they did not win a trophy celebrating their expertise at oral sex. … That said, if they are going to have more Awards Shows, at least they should handle them as did the veteran professionals with the Sex Awards recently. Considering our reputation for being outside the lines — even within an industry itself way outside the lines — you may not find it surprising to know that we vote for Julia Ann. The fact that Julia Ann did not technically have a nomination did not dissuade us in the least. … We’re pretty hard to dissuade, truth be told. [STAR TAGS: 2013 Sex Awards, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Julia Ann Video]

Year:2013

Month:November

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