Filed Under: KylieIreland.com

October 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

10/31/13

One of our telecommuting team members apparently has a tradition in his neighborhood where when the kids say “Trick or Treat” they get candy — while the adults get a shot of some sort, and not the kind that protects you from the flu. Now none of us has ever been to that particular neighborhood, but the kids probably run from house to house because it won’t be too long before mom and dad need to head home because they’re too drunk to walk much more. You’ll have to provide your own shots this evening but we have provided some dandy treats with Cytherea, Kylie Ireland, Syren Sexton, and even Summer Knight. There’s a story in there somewhere, and we will likely tell it. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Video, Syren Sexton Exclusive Video, Summer Knight Video, Bonnie Rotten, 247AdultStars.com ]

Nice Costume, but She Might Get Chilly
10/26/13

It seems like referencing Harold Hill in an adult web site might be a bit unusual, yet we happily do just that this time around. As you may know, however, we have not historically been all that concerned with “usual” in any of our approaches to life. On the other hand, we also pay tribute to a $1,500 sex toy, which falls closer to the adult members’ site norm. Of course we did title the current article, “Oh, We Got Treble.” So there’s that. To quote our leader in today’s post, “We’re just weird.” [STAR TAGS: Jeska Vardinski Video, Asa Akira Video]

A Clef Highlighting a Cleft
10/22/13

Never one to worry much about her own wardrobe, we were a bit surprised when D.Minion showed up in the office insisting that everyone check out her new shirt. It says, “I have CDO, which is like OCD but in alphabetical order — as it should be.” … Suddenly everything made more sense, a bit like when you discover that a professional model might often make a darned good photographer. We use Dee as an example of this last theory, because overall she might hold more universal interest than D.Minion, even with the funny shirt. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Dee Video, Michelle Lay Video]

Dee Peeks at Kristal Summers
10/17/13

Consider the concept of the Practical Homonym, these being words that may not technically “sound the same” but given the actualities of our speech patterns do in fact come across as identical to the ear. For example, Bijou spearheaded a track today which ended up being entitled “Minstrel Machinations,” but when she tried to explain the idea to the rest of us, we heard “Menstrual Machinations.” … Those seem different, really. … Fortunately we’re going with the former of those two concepts, so fear not. And if you think we made up the concept of the practical homonym, we can prove that we did not. Think about it: Country Music would not exist without it. So there. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Wendy Divine, Kylie Ireland Video] 

Merry Risque Minstrels
10/13/13

Name a famous anthropologist. OK. Now name one that never had anything to do with primates. Better yet, name a famous “-ologist” of any kind, not including the fictional ones on television or in books. Fortunately, around here we can illustrate our “-ologies” with all sorts of interesting things, for example Keri Windsor, or even the still happily married Wendy Divine and Eric Masterson. In fact, you can happily pretend you have never learned anything as a member here. Should that turn out to be true, however, and you at some point meet any of us in person, please lie about it. We’re fine with that, so long as you have fun. [STAR TAGS: Wendy Divine, Keri Windsor Video]

Keri Windsor … with a Secret
10/11/13

Everyone needs a friend they can go to with the really tough questions. And this friend should be available for most any emergency, at most any time. Well, not all of us can claim Dee fits into that category for them, but we can happily do so. She does seem a little confused when we call to ask her what kind of yellow mustard to buy or something — as if we’d call just to hear her voice or anything — but as long as she picks up the phone she sounds as adorable as ever. It has been going to voice mail a lot lately, though, so hopefully we won’t have anything other than condiment emergencies for a while. We should probably stop beginning every conversation with, “What are you wearing?” … [STAR TAGS: Dee, Cytherea]

Cytherea Without a Condiment Emergency
10/8/13

When Kristal Summers asks you do do something, you pretty much just agree quickly. When Kristal Summers asks you to do something that involves her being naked, well, you jump right to the task of helping the Selfie Supreme Diva. AND, when Kristal Summers asks you to do something that involves you getting naked with her … well, we honestly have no idea what happens then, because so far Kristal has been lacking in that department, truth be told. Hope springs eternal in Kristal’s breasts, though. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Chasey Lain, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

 

Kristal Summers on Herself
10/5/13

Today could have been all about our leader’s brother. Or it could have been all about our editor’s best friend from college, since both of them have birthdays today. On the other hand, Juli Ashton also has a birthday today, and without any empirical evidence to verify the claim, we’re pretty sure Juli looks better naked than either of those two fine gentlemen we mentioned. Even the illustrious Ms. Ashton had a beginning it appears, and D.Minion takes the opportunity to talk about it. Truth be told, D.Minion does not need much of an excuse to talk about Juli; when she has a real reason, it can get crazy. [STAR TAGS: Juli Ashton Video]

Juli Ashton
10/1/13

What do you call words that rhyme, but don’t look like they would? Take ”plaid” and “fad” for example. … Or what do you call words that could rhyme, but may not, depending upon how you pronounce one of them? You know, “lead” could rhyme with “fed” or we could “lead” you to Lake Meade. Fortunately your knowledge of semantic nuance makes absolutely no difference at all today, as you can consider plaid a fad, or not consider it at all. We do have various concurrent contributions from Cytherea, Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Summer Knight, Angela Stone, and a couple of amateur lesbians from Canberra to help as tour guides, by the way. Follow where they lead. Or lead others to where they lead. Or fed. Or whatever. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Summer Knight Video, Angela Stone Video, Sarah Blake, Thereza Love, Dani Woodward]

Sarah Blake, Not Wearing Plaid

September 2013 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

9/28/13

Makeup sex can be really great. We all know that, right? Of course getting to actually have sex by way of apology would probably be better than getting to merely watch sex, but even as technologically advanced as we are around here, we have not quite mastered the “transporter” option for the web site. We do, however, have Asia Carrera to help you along with whatever journey you (two or three or) choose to take. All in all, it’s probably for the best we cannot offer that “’in person” option. Asia would get really, really tired. [STAR TAGS: Asia Carrera Video]

Riding a Turbo Carrera
9/25/13

Maverick has a birthday today, although considering how these updates play “in history” so to speak, it may not technically be “today” when you read this. Consequently, should you ever have the inkling to wish Maverick a Happy Birthday, you just need to do so on September 25th. Mav happens to be a quite kind chap, and thus he celebrates his birthday on the same day every year. For our part, we try to memorialize this date the same way every year too: Kristal Summers. He seems to appreciate it. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers]

Kristal Summers
9/23/13

When a good friend suffers a loss — even if you happen to think it’s completely ridiculous, because it’s only a game, and your friend wasn’t even playing the game personally — you do what you can to remind them of happier times. So today, as a bunch of regular working people in Wisconsin feel lousy about a bunch of highly paid people in Wisconsin, we chose to remind Uncle Gibby about Exxxotica Chicago this year. Cheer up, dear friend: At least we didn’t send you boner pills. [STAR TAGS: Stormy Daniels, Alexis Texas, Kristina Rose, Britney Amber, Jayden Jaymes, Jayden Cole, Lexi Belle, Exxxotica Chicago Exclusive Video]

Lexi. We Love that Belle.
9/19/13

None of us has been willing to go on record regarding D.Minion’s organizational mania at the new office, but we will point out that we now have a label on a shelf that reads “Label Maker.” Of course being given DM’s persona in a regular work environment will allow others to think outside the box — as it were — regarding important things like how we might improve cheerleaders, and how we might please Gibby at least half the time, just like the 1-1 Green Bay Packers. [STAR TAGS: Anais Video, Jana Cova Video, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michelle Michaels Video, Michael Ninn]

TWO Stunning Blondes
9/14/13

Well we survived another Friday the 13th again, although truth be told when the dude in charge goes by the name “Lucky” those tend to be sort of party days around here anyway. Of course the REAL truth be told, one could pretty much apply that description to pretty much any of our days. Although technically this update applies most directly to questions via the “Free Side” of risqué, we can’t really answer them without some of the uncensored aspects of the Membership Side, so we decided to throw a party to celebrate our cleverness. You’ll actually find us fairly shameless when it comes to party excuses, and we don’t even care that much about accuracy. [STAR TAGS: Dee Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland Video]

Under Dee Water
9/11/13

Not many people give much thought to the term bittersweet anymore, but for the last dozen years, Americans have been able to put that term to September 11th. As a nation we’re certainly a lot stronger and safer than we were before that date, but the progress came at a terrible cost. Retrospect has a way of bringing up mixed emotions, which we can happily avoid simply by looking at Kaylan Nicole … and Cytherea … and Shayla LaVeaux. All things considered, life can be pretty good around here. Oddly enough, most of our memories are not too painful to remember. … [STAR TAGS: Kaylan Nicole Video, Shayla LaVeaux Audio, Cytherea]

A Beauty Within, as it were  …
9/7/13

Have you heard the famous line, “Seven in One Blow!” somewhere along the line? Now it could refer to a particularly accurate fellow with a fly swatter. It could also be talking about an element in any number of gang bang movies. Of course now all the truly erudite will understand that the sentence refers to the opening game Peyton Manning had in the 2013 NFL season. Of course this only becomes important for the “non-erudite” when taken as an example of how sometimes people can interpret things in different ways. … It doesn’t make them wrong so much as … OK … It makes them wrong. [STAR TAGS: Anais, Jana Cova Video, Michael Ninn]

Nothing Wrong with Anais
9/5/13

Depending upon what day you happen to be looking at this, the date at the side here might be confusing. But worry not: today is in fact September 5th. You see D.Minion had carefully planned out her Intimate Encounters 3 coverage to hit on consecutive Denver Bronco games under the odd assumption that not all people care about such things. Sadly, D.Minion failed to comprehend the difference between preseason and the regular season in the NFL. Worry not, however. We fixed it. No matter what your calendar says, don’t panic. Of course “tomorrow” might be September 5th too, but soon it won’t matter in the slightest — well, except for the loser of the game … on September 5th. [STAR TAGS: Sophia Knight Exclusive Video, Breanne Benson Exclusive Video, Jeanie Marie Sullivan]

Sophia Knight
9/1/13

Kristal Summers has a birthday on this date. This one happens to be special, however, as after much research we have determined that it will be the only one in 2013, so that deserves a celebration. Of course only Maverick could decide that having Kristal dress up in a latex nurse outfit for him qualifies as a birthday celebration for her, but those Brits … . What’re ya gonna do? … At least Mav contributes to the cause with his “Nurse Sandie” U.K. version, and that helped. Next year, though, we’re all lobbying for Mav to bring Nurse Sandie TO Nurse Kristal. THAT sounds like a party. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Sandie Caine Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Nurse of the Sandie Variety

Love for A Basic Kylie

Under Where? (Briefly)

by Calvin Craftsman

Andy and Kylie[Originally we ran this on the Members’ Section to promote Kylie’s new radio show. Sadly, that one ended. … Happily, another one began, so we’re doing another plug — this time in the free section. Her radio shows happen to be free (at this point in time) so it seemed appropriate.]

This was to be a relatively elaborate “throw” into one of the sister sites “under” the risqué commune, but Maverick has been spending too much time with D.Minion — clearly. [For some reason when Mav said he decided to post his entire “AEE Event” on 247 in one post, we thought that meant he would make it a lot shorter. Nope. He just meant he would put all the coverage up at one time so that he could get on with the business of finding women in the U.K. to get naked for him. … Silly us. All in all, I blame Kristal.]

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June 2013 Risque | New Stuff

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

6/28/13 We considered a deeply thoughtful examination of the philosophical conceits implicit in a “bad influence” label. We considered learned insights from amongst the world’s most highly qualified sex experts. We considered introspection on a scale heretofore unseen in even our habitually raw handling of the emotional aspects of performance in the adult industry. … Then we decided, naw, maybe we should just appreciate Becca, Kylie Ireland, Rayveness, Asia Carrera, and even Jonathan Morgan — what the heck. After all, “epic” comes and “epic” goes, but beautiful naked and sexually free women, that merits thoughtful examination. [STAR TAGS: Becca, Kylie Ireland Video, Rayveness Video, Asia Carrera Video]
Imagine the Emotional Implications
6/21/13 A popular online dictionary defines a “Maverick” as an intellectual independent thinker. … Well, our Maverick could be that, although in all honesty it would have to be for something other than his obvious intellectual preference for beautiful naked blonde women like Kristal Summers and Anais. And would we all not like to know how they watered that particular family tree? [STAR TAGS: Anais, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video, Dee Exclusive Video, Michael Ninn]
Anais. Close to perfect.
6/16/13 Have you ever wondered what would happen should Michael Ninn become an astronaut? Well, somehow we wander through Alisha Klass and Shy Love, with a pleasant Georgia Adair diversion, as a matter of fact, and end up with Michael potentially art directing the cosmos. All in all this may be one of those excellent opportunities you have to simply look at the pretty pictures and video. Too many words can lead to beer, and that can lead to stronger drink, and before you know it, you’ll be watching porn. … Oh, right! That would be perfectly fine. … We forgot. [STAR TAGS: Sasha Grey, Georgia Adair Video, Shy Love Video, Michael Ninn]
A Daring Georgia Adair
6/13/13 Dear Julia Ann had a party at her house last weekend where all the women got naked and swapped clothes. Sadly, we do not get to see any photos from this event, it being apparently of the private sort. And we do not get to hear about any resulting orgy either, because the discussion of the rescue dogs takes up all the room. On the other hand (as it were) Julia does spice up a different dinner entirely, and we do get to sneak in a little Sasha Grey. Overall, we’ve had worse days. [STAR TAGS: Sasha Grey, Julia Ann Video, Zana Video]
The Other Grey's Anatomy
6/8/13 So what if every one of us made $30,000 every time we had sex? Well, not only would we be trying to have a lot more sex than we’re currently having — assuming that such an endeavor would turn out to be even theoretically possible — but it also means that we’d have a lot less time to be all mean and roaming and pillaging and such. The world would be a lot better place then, right? OK. So bread would be a lot more expensive too, but we should try to remain open to new things it seems like. [STAR TAGS: Georgia Jones, Kacey Jordan Video]
A Mind Open to Things, Metaphorically
6/6/13 Did you ever see Something About Mary with Cameron Diaz and that Favre guy from the Green Bay Packers? Well, today’s nudge toward Commune Goodness does not feature Ms. Diaz, sadly enough, but we do get to see Shayla LaVeaux and Kristal Summers shower together in our “Something About Steve” feature. It’s probably not as funny as the Mary Movie overall, but at least it does NOT feature that Favre guy. Steve never liked him. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kristal Summers Exclusive Video,]
Something About Steve
6/2/13 By the end of June we will all have completed half of the 2013 calendar year already. How does that seem possible, right? Well, time flies. Things change, and yet beautiful naked women remain fascinating. Don’t we all feel so much better knowing there are at least some constants in life? [STAR TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Barbara Doll, Nicole Lace, Natalia Forrest, 247AdultStars.com Video]
Fun, Fun, Fun ... Without a T-Bird in Sight