February 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff


Our Head Writer ends her trilogy we call “Oui the People at AEE 2014” today, although for now she has resisted a growing movement suggesting she change her name from “D.Minion” to “B.Moaning” after reading her assessment of the younger adults targeting in the annual AVN convention. Fittingly we conclude with one of those Could be Hall of Fame performers, risqué favorite Tori Black. Tori may have been underrepresented at this year’s show, but she sure makes all of us want to buy a house with a pool. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux, Kylie Ireland, Tori Black Video]

Kylie Ireland and Shayla LaVeaux

Well, the Winter Olympics have now concluded leaving behind a few ecstatic individuals and the entire U.S. Figure Skating and Men’s Hockey teams wondering what the heck just happened. Bronco fans know how they feel, and being the helpful sort, a few of them put together a consideration of this year’s Best New Starlet contenders, most of whom also know exactly how many of us feel right now. They look a heck of a lot better feeling that way than we do, though. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Melody Jordan, Jodi Taylor, Raven Rockette, Casey Calvert, AJ Applegate, Cindy Starfall, Kennedy Leigh, Rikki Six, Jessa Rhodes, Lacy Rose Video]


We Decided Everybody Wins!

For a moment there we began to wonder if the leaders of the U.S. Olympic Women’s Hockey Team had been replaced by members of the Denver Broncos coaching staff. Then we realized that the women actually kept the championship game very close, so that couldn’t have been the problem. We will say that as Part II of D.Minion’s Convention Überview, though, we make it pretty easy to forget all about the Bronco coaches. Video featuring Celeste Star, Charlie Lain, Carli Banks, and Nevaeh make that quite possible. Throw in a little “Countrified Shayla LaVeaux” and you’ll be hyperventilating for an entirely different reason than silly old football players. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards 2014, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Shy Love, Celeste Star Video, Charlie Lain Video, Nevaeh Video, Carli Banks Video]

Not One of the Above-Mentioned Women, Oddly

You can spend your time considering various arguments on the merits of the Winter Olympics today. Or you can spend your time thanking Kirk for this impromptu Kristal Summers coverage — or more accurately uncoverage, technically. Of course that may not even be a real word, but you honestly won’t care in just a little bit. Call it a hunch. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers Video]

Overall an Excellent Kristal Summers

An old adage can be very helpful. If it does not exactly help you understand a situation more clearly, at least it gives you a quick way to hide your ignorance of accurate details. Sometimes, however, they just don’t seem to apply — Age before beauty, for example. … What if you have both? What if you have always had both? Fortunately on Dee’s birthday we avoid odd questions like this and simply celebrate her. Simple is good, and Dee is excellent! [STAR TAGS: Dee Video, Adaja Video]

Dee Better Every Day

Top vote-getters amongst the staff for most romantic song to play for a loved one today tied between Wind Beneath My Wings and I Will Always Love You, although we did have someone choose AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long, so there’s that. At least this goes to show that we maintain our unique way of looking at things, a stance evidenced by the first of D.Minion’s AEE reports. She calls the three-part series Gestalt Vault this time around, mostly because she did not find “Cryptic Triptych” nearly as funny as some of us did. Hey, we like Dolly Parton songs; clearly we can’t be trusted as any sort of barometer of normalcy. [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014, Shayla LaVeaux, Kristal Summers, Christy Canyon, Monique Alexander Video, Jessica Drake, Sunny Lane, Celeste Star, Tori Black, Charmane Star, Chantelle Fox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

jessica drake — Protector of Moths

Apparently some people take figure skating very seriously. So when you offer an innocent commentary on the current Olympic team, some people can get quite irritated, and claim we’re being mean. … Hey, it’s not our fault that one of them looks like she took her makeup clues from Tim Curry’s character in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and another one bears an eery resemblance to the human version of a hammerhead shark. They’re probably both kind, loving, wonderful people. But facts are facts, just like the hundredth of a second that can mean the difference between being remembered in the history books and being remembered only at your mom’s house. All in all, we decided Tiffany Mynx has a lot going for her, and she’s not in the least bit controversial. We will likely remember her for a very long time. [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Tiffany Mynx Video]

Safe and Sane Tiffany Mynx

Home, Home on the Range would be a lot more interesting if everyone could take Madison Chandler along for the ride. Covered Wagon. Mercedes. Whatever … Some people just make the journey a lot more enjoyable. When D.Minion talks about it, naturally, it can get a little weird, to go along with the enjoyable part, but who wants a boring path anyway? Besides who can avoid laughing with a belle from North Carolina tries to communicate with a chap from England? Giddyup! [STAR TAGS: Madison Chandler Exclusive Video, Nikki Lee Young]

In Tents Concentration by D.Minion

You ever have one of those weekends where you simply cannot remember a darned thing? Well, we have decided to classify this past one in just such a fashion. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. We do have Shayla coming out of — or technically going into — the closet to help distract us, though. Some things you just don’t want to remember. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]