Filed Under: Juli Ashton

January 2012 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/30/12	Years ago now, our dear friend SteveH decided to move back to his home town of Bumfuck, Missouri to chase some woman — although we cannot swear to this being the exact name of the town, honestly. Still, it did give us a chance to finally stop using “SteveD” to indicate the Other Steve in the office, as we progressed quickly through “Just Steve” to simply “Steve” when we refered to him. … And then the Original Steve decided to come out and visit us for the show this year, creating the Steve Confusion all over again. On the other hand, it did give all of us the chance to talk about “that woman” whom Original Steve eventually caught out in Missouri. Then we got to oft repeat one of our favorite adages: “Be careful what you wish for … .” What are friends for, after all? As for the New Steve, who became Just Steve after the Old, Original Steve left, well, his timing continued to be less than he might have hoped as you shall see. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video]
1/26/11	We recently learned from The Big Bang that you call a person that studies flags a vexillologist. This of course would not be the same “Big Bang Theory” that arrived to all of us courtesy of Georges Lemaître, but all in all the television series is a whole lot funnier. We can see how Fundamentalist Christians might be offended by both, however. Of course neither of these things have anything whatsoever to do with Becca, or Kristal Summers, or Kira, or Wendy … but we did want to mention them, because honestly how often do you see an adult web site admitting they understand anything at all about Fundamentalist Christians? [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Kristal Summers Video, Wendy Divine Video, Becca Video, Cytherea, Kira Reed]
1/16/12	Some people would argue that a “business” should not even exist that essentially bases its success on naked people. Apparently when these folks left the Garden of Eden they quickly bid it, “Good Riddance!” and took off with a whole tree’s worth of fig leaves for themselves. Of course some people also believe that if “their team” fumbled the ball at an inopportune time over the weekend, the world might indeed end — or at least be no better than a really depressing place for a few months. … You just can’t please some people. What can you do? … Well in our case, on the eve of our annual trek to the AEE in Vegas, we decided this year to take a moment to reflect upon the upstart in the industry, this of course being XBIZ. At first glance, the new approach seems quite a bit different from the older one, but then AVN has an entirely new plan this year as well, so we will see. If nothing else, we have learned to laugh — an important lesson in life. [FEATURED TAGS: XBIZ LA Convention, Brittney Skye Video]
1/15/12	Unless you happen to be a fan of one of the four teams that will remain in the championship race in the NFL after today, you might find a common thought running through your brain incessantly: What to do? What to do? … Of course a very slim chance exists that you happen to be one of those people that does not follow professional football, but worry not about that: We still have that Fifth Amendment thing, and no one can make you admit that. More significant this time around would be Tenaya’s contributions to our traditionally “uncommon thoughts” on life in the XXX Business. Now “valuable” one could argue, but “uncommon” seems self-evident. Tenaya, and Shayla, and Capri? Obviously, they would all be both. [FEATURED TAGS: Tenaya, Misty Rivers, Capri Anderson Video, Shayla LaVeaux, Bianca Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
1/11/12	One of the best things about attending the annual AVN convention in Las Vegas has to be that you get a chance to see a lot of friends in the business that you may not have run across on set in a few months. Given that this year’s event has all the indications of being a massive … well, we won’t say because we happen to like the AVN people a lot — but think “massive amounts of copulation in a tightly bunched group” — we plan on having a lot to talk about with them as we all sit around waiting for the organization to catch up with us. All in all, we’re going to have a good time regardless, and honestly the regular conversations with Jenna Haze always rank highly on our good memories list. Speaking of Jenna and good memories, we have a few with D.Minion — and surprisingly few dogs, truth be told. [FEATURED TAGS: Jenna Haze Exclusive Video, Kortney Kane Exclusive Video]
1/7/12	Travel looms. Technically, loads and loads of travel looms. … What with XBIZ being on the schedule for the first time this year, and AVN deciding that they don’t need all those pesky CES attendees to fill up its convention halls, we will find ourselves living out of suitcases more often than not over the next couple of weeks. Naturally that got us to thinking about earlier times when this has come to pass in our world, and you know what? Come to find out, sometimes it really isn’t all that bad. Porn stars tend to be entertaining travel-mates as it turns out, even if there will likely be not near as much mating as one might hope. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Dee, Inari Vachs, Devinn Lane]
1/3/12	If you rap about a wrap party, is that redundant? What if they play rap music? Worse yet, what if the party involves absolutely no nudity, even though Julia Ann and Inari Vachs are there and so you “rip” it? Well, a wrap party by definition marks the end of something, and in that case R.I.P. would be perfectly in order, right, even if you happen not to be disappointed at all? Who knew what chaos could spring from words with just three little letters? … Hey, you should see what we can do with Cytherea and some of those $10 words. We have been waiting literally years and years for the perfect opportunity to roll out supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. “Fantastic” huh? [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Inari Vachs, Cytherea]
1/1/12	Ringing in the New Year always brings a lot of joy around here. And doing so with Shayla LaVeaux and Kristal Summers (sadly separately this time) adds a predictable enhancement to the experience. All in all the first of the year invariably brings even more chaos to our existence than even we generally experience. That said, you really can’t complain too much if the bedlam in your life involves a plethora of naked women. If it occasionally involves beds too, well, you get the picture … [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers, Shayla LaVeaux Video]

Stars:Becca| Bianca| Brittney Skye| Capri Anderson| Cytherea| Dee| Devinn Lane| Inari Vachs| Jenna Haze| Juli Ashton| Julia Ann| Kira Reed| Kortney Kane| Kristal Summers| Misty Rivers| Shayla LaVeaux| Tanya Cox| Tenaya| Wendy Divine

Year:2012

December 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

12/31/11	As near as we can tell, today happens to be New Year’s eve, and most places around the world happen to celebrate the new year with substantially more vigor and glee than they do any of those gift-giving holidays. Of course the vast majority of the world has at least a culture, but often an entire political system, that stems in no small degree from religious persecution, so maybe that makes sense. After all, it seems very wise to focus more on a day of the year you won’t get shot for celebrating, right? For our part, we have decided to stick to our roots as well. What they lack in historic violence and upheaval, they more than make up for in fun and nudity. This doesn’t set the bar very high, we understand, but as a rule we tend to prefer simple goals. (You members may have noticed.) And if D.Minion happens to discover our camouflaged secret, well, we plan on employing the exact same New Year’s Resolution we enjoy every year: Blame Maverick for everything. [FEATURED TAGS: Georgia Adair Video]
12/27/11	People do sometimes contribute to their own “Birthday Party” as Shayla has decided to do so today. True to at least our form, she chose to celebrate “Holliday” over the Holidays, and offers up some insights as to what it’s like being in the middle of 30 or 40 women all having sex together. Sadly, none of us here can really comment on this experience first-hand, but we do have a great many folks willing to learn. We value education, after all. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Serenity Video, Juli Ashton Video, Nina Hartley Video, Shawna Lenee]
12/25/11	So did you sleep with thoughts of Sugar-Plums dancing through your head? Have you ever done that in your whole life? Would you even know a Sugar-Plum if it jumped out of the closet and bit you? And when is the last time you heard anyone exclaim, “My! What a clatter!” anyway? The fact that people around here spend time pondering such weighty issues serves as the only excuse I can think of for this Merry Christmas … um … Members’ Card. I worry about us sometimes. I really do. [FEATURED TAGS: Merry Christmas!]
12/24/11	You may not find it intuitive, but the adult movie industry happens to display a great deal of holiday cheer among its members. Of course you can’t really have a properly caroling environment without Ebenezer Scrooge, and thus we speak today with sincere affection for our friend Gregory Dark. True, we have chosen to do so with the able assistance of Juli Ashton, Kelly O’Dell, Felecia, and Serenity, but in our defense we claimed to be festive — not foolish. Why listen to some old fat guy that’s not planning on dropping down any chimneys tonight when you fill your silent nights with young ladies clearly coming about midnight? … There are way too many seasonal songs to consider. We’d best stop now. [FEATURED TAGS: Juli Ashton Video, Kelly O’Dell Video, Felecia Video, Serenity Video]
12/21/11	This is the time of year where we all get a little nostalgic; we all feel a little more optimistic, a little more peaceful. Benevolent tendencies, long hidden throughout the year, come closer to the surface, and we allow ourselves to pause a few more times during the day, just to feel a part of Mother Earth. … Or if you happen to be like us, you praise Rednecks everywhere, and wonder why everyone doesn’t celebrate the way we do. You forgive them, however, because let’s face it: If you go around saying everything you really think, no one is ever going to give you a gift — at least not one you’ll want to receive. [FEATURED TAGS: Anais, Georgia Adair, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Michael Ninn, Bree Olsen Video, Sunny Leone Video]
12/19/11	We all know ‘Tis the Season of Giving, but let’s be honest, it’s pretty fun to get new things too. And with any luck they won’t be the sorts of things that will live in a closet until next year when we can give them again. In a typically benevolent re-gifting game, then, we have decided to offer up some holiday gift suggestions before we shuttle everyone off to enjoy Cytherea playing fauna amongst the flora. D.Minion “naturally” adds her special touch, although DM can be a lot like a gift from a distant relative: You honestly appreciate it, but you’re just not quite sure how to explain it to anyone. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video]
12/15/11	Rarely do we link directly to 247AdultStars.com — preferring rather to heighten anticipation, sweeten the experience, and generally make it more pleasantly pithy. … It’s either that or we pretty much like any excuse to show off more naked women. Theories may vary. All of this goes by the wayside this season, however, as Dear Maverick, being from London and thus used to a depressing Christmas season until the very last minute, has seen fit to visit a few ghosts on a couple of Brit Porn Stars and convince them to film a special holiday greeting for the members. You know what? … God Bless Us, Every One … [FEATURED TAGS: Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Tanya Cox Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
12/10/11	Contrary to D.Minion’s contention in the office, after making egg nog, they do not in fact use the rest of the animal to create Naugahyde seat covers. We try to be helpful with our insights here, just so no one gets confused as they go through life. You might consider, then, taking D.Minion’s view of Day Two of Ninn Worx’ House of Jordan shoot with a grain of salt — if not an entire spice rack. None of this detracts, however, from the 241 stellar photographs. … And how do we know these to be stellar photographs? Why all these women are stars, of course. [FEATURED TAGS: Jana Jordan, Alexis Love, Tiffany Sweet, Carli Banks, Michael Ninn]
12/7/11	You know those kind of “entertainment” things where folks get really sort of devious and sneak in little bits and pieces that presumably will teach us something? Sure, they couch it all in some general “Oh, my goodness, but this is a lot of fun!” sort of way, but it always sort of sounds like Tom Sawyer and that fence painting job? … You will be happy to know that for our part we are simply celebrating Chasey Lain’s birthday today, and if anyone learns anything, well, dang that ain’t our fault. How can porno be educational anyway? [FEATURED TAGS: Chasey Lain, Alexis DeVell, Shayla LaVeaux, Kaylan Nicole, Jewel, Emma Nixon]
12/4/11	We’ve heard a horrible rumor that some places out there have to deal with this bizarre phenomenon called “snow” — which basically sounds like a euphemism for “frozen water that can make life hell” if you want to know the truth. Having seen pictures of it on the news, we can tell you: It looks icky. We did want you to know, however, that we do have how own version of Snow out here, though, although admittedly ours happens to be of the “Aurora Snow” variety. … So you know what we call our Northern Lights? … Yep! … Aurora Areolas. (Sorry. We blame the cold — wherever it may be.) [FEATURED TAGS: Aurora Snow, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Phoenix Ray, Jessica Drake]
12/1/11	Anyone can do an interview, but very, very few people can do a “Ninnterview” as you’ll see easily. Also, anyone can crash a wedding, but only Cytherea can do it … well … like Cytherea does. And if these two quick introductions don’t make you want to see what’s on tap for today, then perhaps you should make an appointment with your family physician. You don’t feel well. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Brea Bennett Video, Jana Jordan Video, Renee Perez Video, Cassidey Video, Nikki Kane Video, Jennifer Dark, Alexis Love, Michael Ninn]

April 2011 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

4/30/11	So apparently they had this big wedding yesterday, and insane people over here stayed up until all hours of the morning just to watch it on TV? Well, we can’t say that this makes any sense to us California folks, but then we’ve heard the same thing said about us from other parts of the country. Did you ever embrace a reflective moment and think about just how you ended up where you did in your life? Presumably people in prison do this with some regularity, but fortunately today we’re not talking about weddings or incarceration – either of these sad situations. Today we sit down with Shayla and consider the “Origins of Porn Woman” and be honestly thrilled that the entire world doesn’t watch everything we do. Seriously. That sounds icky, right? [FEATURED TAGS: Alexis DeVell, AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Julia Ann, Cheyenne Silver, Inari Vachs, Tori Black, Tanya Tate, Phoenix Marie, Bobbi Starr, Andy San Dimas, Jesse Jane, Shy Love, Selena Rose, Natasha Nice, Kayden Kross, Jessica Drake, Riley Steele, Dana DeArmond, Bree Olsen, Prinzzess, Lupe Fuentes, Joanna Angel, Anna Lovato, Jynx Maze, Kristen Rose, Lexi Belle, Breanne Benson, Nina Hartley, Monique Alexander, Stoya, Andy San Dimas, Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]
4/28/11	You know what colloquialisms are we assume? OK. So most of us have at least heard the word, and we probably have some vague idea of the meaning, although that may or may not be true. After all, it’s not like you have occasion to throw that particular English language tidbit into a conversation every day. And if you have one thing, like a colloquialism, for example, don’t sound principles of physics dictate that its direct opposite be possible too? So what’s the opposite of a colloquialism? … If you’re confused, you’ve now perfectly prepared yourself to match our condition today, so all you Members can now feel free to enter. On the upside, we do have Renee Perez playing in the shower this time around, and basically that’s not very confusing at all. [FEATURED TAGS: Renee Perez Video, Michael Ninn]
4/22/11	There are many, many ways to say Happy Birthday across the globe, yet all of them mean, “Gosh, you’re even older than you were yesterday.” As our friends get older, we have noticed a tendency to buy them gifts that we hope to get back in inheritance, though, but that’s OK, right? We should be practical after all. Also, we’re going to stop writing now so that El Jefe doesn’t have enough clues to figure out which of us wrote this introduction. Practical … [FEATURED TAGS: Tanya Cox, “The Snatch Game” ]
4/21/11	Just in case you’re ever curious, you should know that the only people that ever win in a lawsuit are the lawyers. Legal fights beat you up financially, emotionally, and depending upon how long they drag on, even spiritually. They’re not fun. Sadly, however, they are sometimes necessary. As we understand it, you’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. All in all, the only thing you really learn from lawsuits boils down to an addition to your list of people with whom you never want to have to see ever again in your life. Sometimes the lawyers don’t end up being first on that list, but they always make the list for sure. Even for attorneys, though, all good things must come to an end, and eventually even the most acrimonious of disputes reaches some form of resolution. Today would be such a day. … Whew. [FEATURED TAGS: Vicca, Nikita, Juli Ashton, Felecia, Anna Malle, Asia Carrera, Ron Jeremy, Ninn Video, Michael Ninn]
4/18/19	Most of us would agree that only a few things in life can annoy us as much as paying taxes. We all see the need for them in the abstract, and quite honestly see the value in government services and the philanthropic concepts of helping those less fortunate than ourselves. When theory crashes into personal reality, however, you can almost hear a universal whining. If you don’t believe that just listen to the richest 10% of the people in the country bellow and start talking about the President’s citizenship every time he dares suggest they should probably try to contribute a little more to help the country get out of its economic mess – that he didn’t create, by the way, but let’s not get too bogged down in politics. … In that non-political spirit we’re dishing up our own risque brand of tax relief today. We’d be willing to bet that if you love it or hate it, you’re decision will have nothing whatsoever to with your party affiliation. [FEATURED TAGS: Cytherea, Lylith LaVey]
4/15/11	Does anyone else wonder why today doesn’t qualify as Tax Day, even though it’s a Friday and not a weekend? Nope. We didn’t either. We just said, “Whoopie! We get extra time this year!” … Of course none of us really need the extra time because we always do our taxes in January so we don’t even have to worry about it anymore. Yep. That’s our story, and we’re stickin’ to it. … You’ll find other words (and pictures) of wisdom in A Dawning today as well. What an excellent Friday. [FEATURED TAGS: Audrey Hollander, Heather Vuur, Heather Vandeven, Jassie, Shayla LaVeaux Video, Michael Ninn]
4/12/11	We would love to say that we spend hours and hours thinking up clever titles for our ever-so-insightful commentary on the risque commune sites, but that wouldn’t technically be true. Generally someone just pops off with something, the others laugh, and that’s what we go with. Sometimes, though, a couple of very good ideas get thrown into the mix, and then we have a debate, granted about the silliest of things. (That’s what Americans do, as any analysis of professional sports or politics will clearly illustrate.) Today we had “Sheen without Luster” as well as “Sheen and Lust Her” as options that we just couldn’t reach consensus on. D.Minion said she’d decide, since it was her story, after all. … Naturally D.Minion picked a third title. … It’s good to be Queen. We’re not so sure about being a Goddess, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Capri Anderson, Bree Olsen Video]
4/6/11	Back before he started making sausage, Jimmy Dean recorded a song with a chorus that began, “I won’t go huntin’ with you, Jake, but I’ll go chasin’ women.” Most of you will probably be glad to hear that this does not happen to be the song in which you can find Shayla naked in the music video. That said, as between early 1950’s country music – Ice T’s “Body Count” – and sausage, we can’t honestly say which we’d like to see made less. Shayla dancing naked is always good, however. [FEATURED TAGS: Justine Joli]
4/3/11	Last night we learned the Butler did it, if UConn believe that. … And if you don’t follow college basketball, or if you happen to be reading this years from now, that will make no sense at all. Fortunately, sexy women do tend toward the timeless and universally understood, so don’t worry yourself too much about the “strangest of the strange” around here. Both Shayla LaVeaux and Cheyenne Silver give reports today on the most recent AEE, and 247AdultStars chimes in with “visitors” Lon and D.Minion as well. All it all it’s very confusing. So go slowly and remember to breathe. Ice cream might help too. … And for all you authors that hurried your reports in because we were going to publish this a couple of days ago … um … April Fool’s. (Hey we couldn’t have used the amazingly clever and hysterical Butler/UConn comment on April 1st. See? Things tend to work out.) [FEATURED TAGS: AEE 2011, Shayla LaVeaux, Cheyenne Silver, Cytherea, Katsuni, Prinzzess, Alektra Blue, Syren, Exclusive Video]

«

»