Filed Under: London Keyes

May 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

5/29/14

In all probability Jassie will not be appearing out of the blue to give you a blow job today. She probably won’t appear out of the aquamarine or fuchsia either, so you might need a different coloring book all the way around. On the other hand, if one hangs with Jassie, one can never be quite sure what may happen. She’s an exceptional lass, that Jassie. [STAR TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Jassie Video, Lorraine Sisco, Michael Ninn]

Thinly Veiled Jassie
5/26/14

Happy Birthday to Kylie, both sexy and wily. When she strips down naked, it makes us all smiley. … OK. So it’s not exactly The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, but you have to agree that it’s a lot easier to read. Also, despite his literary prowess, Mr. Coleridge never had lesbian sex with Ashlyn Rae. Well, you know, he was a dude. … Kylie wins again! [STAR TAGS: Kylie Ireland Video, Ashlyn Rae Video]

Kylie Ireland and Her Birthday Gift Ashlyn Rae
5/23/14

Few people on the planet understand network television as well as our own D.Minion. This seems odd to us, because as a rule people do not tend to study things whose primary function seems to be one of causing irritation. Of course weave in the captivating beam of London Keyes, and even the ChickaDees cannot stay sad. Put London in a school uniform, and … well … we just give them all some private time. But we share … [STAR TAGS: London Keyes Video]

London Keyes
5/20/14

An ever-vigilant and thoughtful new member pointed out four missing large images in a post from clear back in 2006. Granted, Heather Vuur does not show any signs of ever becoming “old news” or anything — particularly around here — but we did want to show our appreciation for the effort taken to write in and point out the errors (quite politely, we should add). Obviously we could have simply fixed the four links on the photos, which we did — to cover ourselves whenever someone else goes back there — but then we got to thinking. … OK. So sometimes that can be scary, but sometimes it can also result is wonderful new larger renditions of the photos, along with typically stunning video of Jassie, Brooke, AND Heather Vuur this time. Fans pay attention. Everybody wins! [STAR TAGS: Heather Vuur Video, Heather Vandeven Video, Jassie Video, Brooke Banner Video, Michael Ninn]

Appreciating Heather Vuur
5/18/14

Despite a significant amount of technical prowess in these offices, we have as yet been unable to figure out how to use Parental Lock to keep the DVR from filling up with unwatched episodes of “Too Cute” on Animal Planet. Of course D.Minion has her own ways … as some of learned painfully this week. [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Video, Kylie Ireland Video, Chayse Manhattan Video, Misty Rain Video, Leena Video, Faye Taylor Exclusive Video, 247AdultStars.com]

Cytherea
5/12/14

Have you ever wondered why all the beautiful women do all the difficult — notice how we avoided the overly simple pun hard at this point — work around here? Well, it turns out D.Minion remains fairly sure that an overwhelming desire to please her pretty much explains it all. Would that this were only true, we would never again have to ask For Whom the Belles Toil. … (Yeah, that hurt just writing it down. … Sometimes we have no control. You should know that about us. … ) [STAR TAGS: Justine Joli Video, Georgia Adair Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Kylie Ireland, Angel Cassidy, Wanda Curtis, Anais, Charlie Lane, Jana Cova, Audrey Hollander, Michael Ninn]

Justine Joli
5/9/14

Everyone arrived at work today in a wonderful mood. Having each received text messages last evening, it seems we now all have a new favorite Green Bay Packer we have affectionately nicknamed “Monica” — according to our leader. After all, what else does the name “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix” make you think of? … And this strange view of the world pretty much explains all of our Adult Behavior perspectives today. … You learn to adapt; what can we say? [STAR TAGS: AEE 2014 Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux]

Shayla LaVeaux and Her New POV Device
5/5/14

Many, many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo today, although according to a new report we heard, apparently the holiday tends to be a lot more popular than in America than in Mexico. If we had paid more attention we might have learned why that happens to be, but we can just take it on faith. It was on the television news. It has to be true. … All of that said, not many people will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo the way we chose to this year — with Mika Tan. Hey, we’ll drink cerveza and ruminate upon Mika. Sounds like a plan. … [STAR TAGS: Mika Tan Video, Lorraine Sisco]

Technically Not a Cerveza Dispenser
5/2/14

Sometimes you meet someone, and the chemistry between the two of you almost feels electric. OK, so most of the time one of you feels attracted while the other feels repulsed, but magnetic fields can be sort of like electricity, so that should count for something. Still, should you find yourself on the “rejected” end of one of these interpersonal dynamics, do not despair. While sadness tends to be depressing, mirth can be quite fun. [STAR TAGS: Jana Jordan Video, Carli Banks Video, Alexis Love Video, Tiffany Sweet Video, Renee Perez, Lena Nicole, Michael Ninn]

Jana Jordan
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January 2014 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

1/31/14

Probably not very many adult companies have a Dolly Parton quote framed in their entry way, but we do. During an interview one time, Dolly said, “People have no idea how much money it costs to look this cheap.” … And why might this make us think of the adult industry instead of country music? Well, people probably have no idea. … [STAR TAGS: Cytherea, Natasha Marley, Jessica Drake Video, Monique Alexander Video, Nikki Fairchild Video, Olivia Del Rio, Bailey Blue, Celeste Star, Sunny Lane, Jayden James, Jessica James, Shy Love, Kennedy Leigh, Jessa Rhodes]

Natasha Marie
1/28/14

One of our all-time favorite adult industry quotes came to us from Alex deRenzy who explained, “If they’re looking at my furniture, I ain’t doing my job.” … Sometimes you need to take a step back and think about the bigger picture, a task we approach both directly and subtly today. You may need to pay attention, though, because having Kristal Summers in addition to a lesbian orgy can make your thoughts wander to more immediate considerations. [STAR TAGS: Kristal Summers, Anna Joy Exclusive Video, Marie Luv Video, Ruby Knox Video, Lana Croft Video, Eva Angelina Video, Sammie Rhodes Video, Sindee Jennings Video, 247AdultStars.com]

 

Kristal Summers
1/25/14

How do you provide a Gestalt View of a ceremony where they give out serious awards for Best Blow Job — and women cry if they do not win? Well, every year we try to do that, and every year we think, “My, but this seems like an odd thing to do.” … In every walk of life, some things just go with the territory, though. In a porn life, they just tend to be surreal on occasion. [STAR TAGS: AVN Awards, Kylie Ireland, Jessica Drake, Stormy Daniels, Samantha Saint]

The Visionary Steve Orenstein
1/22/14

We blast back into the membership business today, fresh from yet another fascinating (and regularly unclothed) trip to Las Vegas. OK. So maybe “blast” should be “crawl” if we find striving for complete accuracy to be important, but folks are blasting through the organization of a “boatload” of new assets even as we speak. Interestingly enough, our web site assets often include part of that word literally. [STAR TAGS: Inari Vachs]

Inari Vachs — Likely not Thinking About our Assets at All
1/12/14

Visions of sprinkle donuts dance in some heads at risqué, while entirely different sorts of naked beauty dominate the thoughts of others. Now we wouldn’t want to tell anyone what they “should” enjoy, so we’ll go on record as saying should you prefer to enjoy Jayden Cole in D.Minion’s “Cole-Hearted Thriller” while you eat donuts, well, we will be just fine with that. Assuming we make it back from Vegas again, we’ll see you in a week. We’ll tell you all about it. [STAR TAGS: Jayden Cole Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video, Cytherea, Kylie Ireland Video, Kristal Summers Video, Dee Video]

 

Jayden Cole
1/8/14

For future reference let us give you a little advice that you probably do not hear every day: If at all possible, you should try really, really hard NOT to be in Pasadena on the day of the college national football championship game — at least if they happen to be playing that game at the Rose Bowl. Trust us: a quarter million drunken tourists are a lot more fun if you just watch them on television. We tend to learn by doing, however, a point to which at least a couple of the new people here can attest. As “BAAB” considers the role of Powerful Women, she does an admirable job of elevating females without being overly “BAAB to the Bone” … . (Sorry, George.) [STAR TAGS: Melissa Monet Video, London Keyes, Elexis Malone]

No Boys Necessary
1/4/14

To paraphrase Ron White — a pastime we rather enjoy, as you may already know — “Once you’ve seen one woman naked, you pretty much want to see them all.” Understanding that sentiment, we feel for poor Maverick and Steve who will be absent from all the naked ladies in Vegas this year. We didn’t want them to feel too badly, though, so we put together a “broad selection” (as it were, should you be one of the more politically incorrect out there) in order that they might pass the time while we’re away. We said we feel bad for them, not that we won’t have an excellent time teasing them. [STAR TAGS: Happy New Year!]

They’ve already seen Shayla naked. They probably don’t care.
1/1/14

So what happens when two porn stars take a bath together? … Um … If you cannot answer that question without checking out our “answer” inside, then maybe you should think about joining a different kind of site. We’re not certain, but there are probably excellent ones on like internal combustion engines, or model rockets — something like that. For our part, even though we don’t use “fuel” per se, we have been known to cause a controlled explosion or two. We see no reason to change that course this HAPPY NEW YEAR! [STAR TAGS: Cytherea Exclusive Video, Cheyenne Silver Exclusive Video, Shayla LaVeaux Exclusive Video]

Clean and Dirty at the Same Time
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London Keyes

London Keyes
Sister from Another Mister by Spooky Sapience Halloween might be the most unique of all holidays, and yet according to some we do not give it due reverence here on risqué. If you think about, Halloween does have a bit of a uniqueness about it, actually. As a kid you love it because you get […]
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